We’ve reached that point in the season where Bryant Park is within reach for a few lucky contestants and all that’s left to do is weed out the riffraff who are still hanging around—Goatee Joe, we’re looking at you. Surly Terri and wacky Blayne are gone—a cute farewell note on the blackboard reads, “I will miss you and love you-licious!” You know the rest of the contestants are just crossing their fingers and hoping they don’t make anything dumb enough to get them kicked off before it’s down to the final three.
A small side note—have we mentioned that we just got back from the finale taping in New York? We won’t give anything away, but we must make the following observations: Heidi is so incredibly striking! Tim Gunn is completely adorable! We’re also so sure we know who won that we’d put money on it!
Okay, enough about that. This week’s episode unfolds with the remaining six designers gathering on the runway. Heidi brings out a slew of average, fairly schlumpy American women. Notes Jerell: “Clearly, these are mothers, but I don’t see Korto’s or mine,” basically pointing out that only white women were invited to be in this challenge. Way to go, Project Runway producers.
Turns out they’re moms of a group of recent college grads, and the younger women will be getting a major makeover at the hands of the Project Runway team. We love makeovers! And, at the risk of being rude, some of these gals could use a little spruce-up. Is crazy hair color what the kids are into these days? But they’re all delightfully game for the challenge—even the poor girl who gets paired with Goatee Joe.
Kenley is thrilled to be matched up with a little vintage-loving gal named Anna. She immediately tells her, “I got the cute girl!” Um, did she just completely insult Korto and Leanne? The volume on Kenley’s voice seems to have jumped about five decibels at this point in the season, and we’re thrilled when the camera finally cuts away from her shrill, self-involved screams. Boy, how the mighty have fallen.
Everyone else is busy navigating the world of gawky postcollegiates and their overbearing moms. Poor Leanne looks like she might die when the mom of her client, Holly, asks, “Do you design anything with animal prints and stuff?” Holly helpfully adds, “She would buy anything with animals. Anything!” It’s pretty much the defining statement of what our designers have to deal with.
The designers are off to Mood Fabrics to pick out materials. There’s lots of running around and buying ugly fabrics—um, purple-and-tan Pucci prints, Suede? Really? Each designer takes a cute trip down memory lane to think about her own postcollege positions, and the gals and their moms are back to critique the clothes. Leanne’s clients turn up their noses at the cool neckline on the dress she’s making. Says Jerell, “We were all wondering who would get the ‘hedda lettuce’ in this competition, and it looks like it’s Leanne.” Aw, poor Leanimal.
We admit we kind of glaze over at this point. Seriously, we are done looking at Suede’s hideous purple-print concoction and Joe’s pinstripe mess. Things perk up a bit when Tim announces a special guest and a cute Asian girl comes in. Project Runway’s long history of D-list guests has left both the designers and me wondering if we’re supposed to recognize this woman. It turns out she’s the Tresemmé hair expert to help with the makeovers. Um, no offense, Tresemmé, but we would not let someone with such a seriously uncute haircut touch our own hair.
Snooze, snooze, snooze. Tim makes his rounds of the designers’ outfits, and we’re forced to watch Goatee Joe defensively justify his pinstripes. Kenley bristles at Tim’s design suggestions—oh, Kenley, when will you learn that you do not mess with our Tim?—and barks boastfully about how she never bothers to listen to him.
We have a flurry of finishing up, and a lot of smack-talking, in which Suede’s flared-sleeve concoction is described as so “Selena” and “very 1992,” and we’re all off to the runway. The poor girls are forced to clomp awkwardly up and down the catwalk, but it’s totally endearing how their moms are so excited about it.
We’re on to the judging, with guest Cynthia Rowley—we love her! They give the thumbs-up to Kenley’s Mini-Me ensemble and trash Joe’s cliché pinstripe suit. As Michael Kors says in a moment of extreme clarity and conciseness, it’s so “Becky home-ec-y!” Korto gets accolades for her youthful look—seriously, everyone loves the jacket? seriously?—while Leanne’s cropped jacket is panned all around for being frumpy. Jerell’s cute ensemble is everyone’s clear favorite—but the leafy nest-style hat he’s wearing has us baffled. Finally, even Suede can’t justify his Selena ensemble. Cynthia Rowley widens her eyes and proclaims, “It’s just a disaaaaster.”
Jerell wins for ably taking his client from geek to chic, and then it’s down to Suede and Joe—no real surprise there. Suede looks like he’s about to throw up (does anyone else think he’s really struggling with the stress at this point and just looks awful in every episode?), but it’s Joe with his goatee, mullet, and chain necklace who is finally going home.
The countdown to Bryant Park continues! Next week, the trash talking rises to a whole new level. Plus, Tim seems to take Kenley down a notch—thank goodness. The finale is near—we can’t wait!
Read last week’s post here , and check back next Thursday for Betsy’s Project Runway recap.