Your guide to the region's top events, mixed with some commentary about life, media, gossip and politics in Washington, DC.

'Real World: DC' Unleashes the Pimpin’ Panda

By Alejandro Salinas

Ashley: There was absolutely nothing redeemable about “Obama girl.” From her better-than-thou attitude toward the rest of the roommates to the thinly veiled bitterness/jealousy over Mike’s manfriend to once again spying on roommates, it was all just downhill. When she “stumbles” upon Mike and boy-toy Robbie making out on the pool table, it looks like the flesh is melting off her face. “That is not cute,” she says of the couple. Neither are you, Ashley.

Ty: To no one’s surprise, Ty was just as cocksure this time around. “Emily is open about her sexuality, and I have benefited from that openness” he says, not realizing how gross he sounds. Also gross was him and that petite girl at Rhino Bar. We do have to give him some credit for seeing so clearly through Ashley’s nonsense and calling her out on it. Now, if only he’d take that awareness and apply it to himself.

Emily: Our winner last week takes a precipitous fall, mostly as a result of too much alcohol and too much Ty. For an episode that featured plenty of Emily, we have very little to say about her, other than we hope she gets over the dude, and pronto. The scenes with her sister were surprisingly cold, and their subsequent e-mail exchange—built to be a big dramatic moment by the show’s editors—fell flat.

Mike: In what is so obviously shaping up to be the “bi today, gay tomorrow” story arc of the season, Mike goes to a gay club and brings home a dude—shocking Ashley and anyone who can’t see what Mike looks like. We’re guessing the folks at the Human Rights Campaign fall into this latter category. How else to explain their hiring of Mike as an intern after he shows up to his first interview dressed in a T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers? It’s an embarrassing situation for Mike, but more so for HRC. We know the interview was just for show, but couldn’t someone at least get him to wear a shirt?

Erika: She participated in the brief altercation between the girls and Andrew’s hookup, Krystal (more on her later), but otherwise remained on the sidelines, waiting for her time.

Josh: Besides the cheesy slow-motion footage of the boys on their night out, we can’t recall seeing Josh’s makeup-caked mug in the episode at all.

Andrew: He didn’t start so hot—“There’s something inherently about Callie” isn’t a sentence, Andrew—but Panda Face managed an impossible trick: He won us over. First with his comical attempts to woo Callie and later for being so open about going to a gay bar—“I want to be the belle of the bar!” Finally, he took the higher ground with his roommates after they ruined his chances of getting laid.

Callie: It takes not only kindness but tact to turn down multiple advances from a boy—especially one as seemingly aloof and socially inept as Andrew—without inflicting too much damage on his ego. Callie possessed both qualities in this episode, emerging from last week’s obscurity all the way to the (almost) top of our ranking. In the process, she also proved it’s she, not Ashley, who can teach the other one a valuable thing or two.

Krystal: Technically not a roommate, but who can resist a girl who introduces herself as “Krystal, like Christopher”? The answer: Everyone in the real real world. But this is reality television, and Krystal—who apparently went to GMU—wasted no precious TV time. She hopped from the confessional room over to the hot tub and then to Andrew’s bed, clearly on a mission. Once in bed, she started a fight with the female cast members, tackling all the to-do’s that Real World groupies are supposed to do to achieve infamy. For purposefully embarrassing herself on national television and still managing to look better than Ty’s Rhino Bar girl, Krystal—heretofore dubbed “Peanut-Butter Legs”—wins the episode. Kongrats, Krystal!

For more Real World: DC recaps, click here.

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Comments

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Posted by: sneakercn, Jun 29, 2011 06:30:56 AM

peanut butter legs? Krystal is a friend of mind and is a really sweet beautiful girl. Jane Doe you have way too much time on your hands. and by the way, they’re real. Get your facts straight

Posted by: Krystal Fan, Jan 15, 2010 12:03:45 PM

Krystal "Hot Tub" Cunningham’s 15 minutes were up 20 minutes ago. I dig a woman who goes after guys 7 years younger. She is going to blossom into a glorious cougar hunter!

Posted by: Glorious Cougar Hunting, Jan 15, 2010 02:35:27 AM

All of you haters are just playing right into Peanut Butter legs plan to gain notoriety via her failed attempt at being the first person to have sex in the DC house. Stop obsessing and writing about her, because it’s only making her hideous grotesque head grow larger. Maybe if we all ignore her, she will move back to West Virginia or whatever hell hole she came from. For the love of god, please ignore this pariah, and we can all live happily ever after when she moves away in shame.

Posted by: Haters Need to Stop, Jan 14, 2010 05:11:28 PM

“Krystal Leigh Cunningham,” is the 27/28 year old woman that hooked up with DC’s Real World cast member Andrew in the hot tub on the 2nd episode. Little history on Krystal; she is the girl that needed attention growing up. After her mother paraded her around in pageants before she could walk who wouldn’t? Her childhood bedroom was plastered with ribbons and awards from her forced 80’s brush with “Toddlers in Tiaras,” that she would brag about to “friends” growing up which consequently made her a laugh! She was the girl throughout elementary, middle and high school that tried oh so desperately to make friends, but NO amount of money or make-up allowed her to do so. She was a very prude sheltered girl that unfortunately turned her into a “freak of a socialite.” Once she graduated from high school her history was unknown so she was able to start over, found herself some fake friends that accepted her…FINALLY! Krystal bought her fake boobies after spending many years working for Abercrombie & Fitch. Now she is a event promo girl in the DC area flaunting her body and being molested by men while offering free shots. No matter how much you; “fake and bake,” spray, purchase knock off designer studs, plaster your face with make-up and grind your flat ass with men on grungy DC dance floors you will never find true love…So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Krystal Leigh Cunningham put out the fire following your 15 minutes of fame from your hot tub cameo on DC’s Real World and get with the real world and stop dressing up in nasty outfits. Save your skin from cancer and get a REAL LIFE and a REAL job! Oh, but don’t worry your appearance will be syndicated forever…which includes your “granny panties,” that really, really need to be explained!

Posted by: Jane Doe, Jan 12, 2010 01:57:44 PM

This Real Word season is the worst cast ever. If it weren’t for Krystal unleashing her inner slut for the world to see, no one would watch this painful show. Keep up the good work Krystal. The world looks forward to more of your slutty antics on TV.

Posted by: Krystal Fan, Jan 11, 2010 05:34:47 AM

Krystal went to HS in Alexandria and is still pulling the same crap she did then

Posted by: once a slut always a slut, Jan 10, 2010 09:10:17 AM

I went to GMU with Krystal - she’s still trying to pull the same "moves" that she tried in college (8 years ago..). They still aren’t really working.

Posted by: gmu , Jan 09, 2010 06:01:31 PM

For someone who is pushing 30 peanut butter legs should be mortified she tried so hard to get on a show that does not cast people over 24. Poor thing

Posted by: Gag, Jan 08, 2010 12:22:12 PM

Andrew got Mega-desperate. Peanut-Butter legs looks like Gerard Depardieu

Posted by: Peanut Butter Legs, Jan 08, 2010 02:44:18 AM