Is there something in the water this week? Because this week’s Missed Connections are, well, weird. A book bag full of cash? A missed connection from twenty years ago? An encounter with an Abe Lincoln mascot in a pedi-cab? You just have to read them for yourself.

YOU WERE CONVERTING OXYGEN INTO CARBON DIOXIDE - m4w (Foggy Bottom)
Reply to: pers-exx2m-1121372336@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-14, 12:55AM EDT

I couldn’t help but notice you, the way you pulled oxygen into your body and then produced such beautiful CO2. You were also walking somewhere. Were you in Foggy Bottom and breathing while you walked today? If so, meet for coffee?

Your sarcasm is strangely charming.

Book bag full of cash and DVDs. (Starbuck’s)
Reply to: pers-hhvc7-1123864514@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-15, 3:00PM EDT

You left your book bag. I tried to run you down, but by the time I got outside I couldn’t find you anywhere.

I have to admit, I have never seen this much cash in one place in my entire life. You also left some DVDs in here.

I’m not sure about what to do here. I’m trying to do the honest thing here. (I’m also going to leave a note with the Starbuck’s.)

If you can tell me what Starbucks and other specifics I’ll be happy to return the DVD’s.

And the cash?

Twenty years ago in Key West - m4w - 45 (Southeast U.S.)
Reply to: pers-s8xpt-1122541805@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-14, 6:14PM EDT

April 1989 I visited Key West for first time. We sat next to each other during lunch at Sloppy Joe’s bar. If I recall your name is Louise and you were an architect in DC. Anyway, I have since taken many vacations in KW. When passing by Sloppy Joe’s your nice gesture and company come to mind. Thanks for a good, clean, fun day. Your kindness has not been forgotten.

Twenty years ago? Time to move on.

Pedicab Driver Seeks Abe Lincoln - m4w - 22 (DC)
Reply to: pers-ftz39-1121283556@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-13, 11:17PM EDT

I picked you up today at the White House. You were the Abe Lincoln mascot for the Nationals heading back to the stadium after the Easter Egg Roll, I was a devilishly handsome pedicab driver. I asked if the outfit weighed a lot, and I almost crashed into Thomas Jefferson when you replied in a sexy girl-voice. We talked about biking in DC, apartment and job hunting, and my admiration for your Gettysburg Address. I kept peering back as we rode to try and make eye contact, but your enormous mascot head was in the way. When I dropped you off I didn’t ask for your phone number, because I evidently have no testicles.

If you get this shoot me an email. We can go out for coffee, a romantic bike ride, and celebrate your 200th birthday.

Love,
The Pedicabbie

We empathize. It must be difficult to try to ask out the 16th President.

Alejandro - w4m - 31 (Alexandria)
Reply to: pers-2rkxy-1120590923@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-13, 3:56PM EDT

Alejandro, I love you. I wish I could leave the US and go to Bogota and be with you, or you can come to DC and be with me, but is impossible because you dont have a Visa , and because I am married. Every day I wake up and I think about you. I love you since the moment I saw you, you are so intelligent and wise, but at the same time you are 25 and in many ways inmature. I think about you every single minute of the day, I love you so much it hurts.

Wasn’t this an episode on Days of Our Lives?

Sorry I didn’t tell you about the urine - 27 (Gallery Place Metro)
Reply to: pers-gneh4-1123617454@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-15, 12:49PM EDT

You were the young woman with blonde/light brown hair that wiped the “water” off the seat with your sleeve on the redline train at Gallery Place this morning. Sorry I didn’t tell you it was a “gift” from a homeless lady that got off at that stop right before you got on.

In my defense, there were about 10 people closer to you that could have said something.

Ewww!

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