Bridal Party

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A Washingtonian Wedding: Decisions

Read what Emily is doing to save money on the reception. Hint: It’s not trimming the guest list.

Make a date out of creating a wedding playlist. Image courtesy of Apple.com.

When you’re working within a budget, you have to make some choices about what’s most important. Have you always dreamed of having a destination wedding in Maui? If so, you’re seriously limiting the number of people able to attend. But that also means your invitations will be few; the sand, sea, and sky will be your ceremony’s decorations; and you won’t have as many mouths to feed at the reception.

Early on, Drew and I decided that the people were going to be the most important part of our wedding. The family you saw and spent reunions with on summer evenings, those friends from grade school who have been there through everything from knee scrapes to heartbreaks, the college friends who you thought would never be as good as the high-school ones but who became such close sisters and brothers. . . . Yeah, the people are pretty important. We couldn’t imagine not having all those VIPs around us on our big day.

When you calculate a reception for 200-plus people, you’re talking a lot of money. Like more money than I ever imagined. Like $40 to $50 a head is cheap. But whatever—their friendships are priceless, and this is what a wedding reception costs these days. So because the people are the “constant” in this wedding equation, we’re looking for cheaper ways to do other things—the variables, if you will. For example, the music at the reception.

Drew and I both love music—the emotion it elicits, the configuration of notes, the harmonies and lyrics. I grew up singing in the shower, and I actually won an award at a middle-school competition at Hershey Park. Pretty cool, huh? Next stop, American Idol. Then the Grammys. . . . In college, Drew was known to hold recording sessions with one of his roommates in the dorms. Drew loves discovering indie music, but he also loves Kenny Chesney. Kind of an oxymoron, right? Anyway, ideally we’d discover a budding Nashville band to play at our reception, our friends and family would have so much fun dancing and singing with them, and it would be fabulous.

But it’s not going to happen. A sweet band would cost a lot of moolah. One wedding magazine suggested downloading music to an iPod and creating a reception playlist. We’re going to do it, and it’s still going to be really sweet. We get the personal touch of picking out all the love songs and fun songs, and the order in which they play. The trick is starting out with softer, low-key music (David Gray tunes) for the speech-and-dinner portion but then moving on to the higher octane (“Cha Cha Slide” or my sorority’s favorite, Madonna’s “Like a Prayer”) for the cake/dancing/bouquet-throwing portion.

In wedding planning as in life, you have to make little sacrifices along the way for your desired end. And sacrificing live music for the presence of friends and family—it’s not a tough decision.

Have any suggestions for good songs to go on the playlist?

Emily, a Washington bride-to-be, writes every Friday about planning her wedding, which will be in Nashville this fall. To follow her adventures from the beginning, click here.

To read the latest Bridal Party blog posts, click here.

Comments

I think Bennett is right on the money with every one of his comments.

Posted by: Ms. P. | Mar 28, 2008 09:45:31 AM

Seriously, Brian? I can’t believe you would question whether or not the writer was mature enough to get married based upon her and her fiance’s decision to use an iPod instead of a live band or DJ. The wedding day is infinitely more than the music. At best, the music is the backdrop to the most important day in the couple’s life. Marriage is about two people publicly committing their lives to each other before their family and dearest friends. The more friends that get to come and witness and celebrate such a beautiful and meaningful event the better. And what better songs to have playing than the music that’s been the soundtrack to the couple’s relationship. I for one think you owe the writer an apology for your short-sighted and completely inappropriate conclusion.

Posted by: Bennett | Mar 24, 2008 12:12:59 PM

Brian, that was not "just a thought;" rather, it was thoughtless. First, you are probably - and unsurprisingly - missing the point of this particular post - that the bride and groom are trying to save money where they can on some parts of their wedding party so they can invite more of their friends and family. I am sure it will be more meaningful for their guests to have been invited to the wedding than it will be to have a live band. Because they are friends, they won’t care whether the music is coming from a live band, a DJ, or an iPod. In either case, what makes you say that the music played by a band will by default be more appreciated by guests than the music coming from a special playlist the bride and groom put together (have you heard some live wedding bands?). I would think guests would pick up on the romance and personal touch of a playlist that the bride and groom put together. THAT I think would be memOrable and I doubt any real friend or family member would feel it to be an "incovienence" to be asked to help out at the party.

Posted by: Dave | Mar 24, 2008 08:26:44 AM

Why take on the added stress putting together the tunes the sound system and lights by the time you rent everything you need it will cost you at least 500.00 and hours and hours of time plus do you really want to incovienence one of your guests to set up and run the show?If you hire a pro it will be better than anything you can come up with. The day is about everyone who came to share it having a good memerable time not about making everyone listen to the BG taste in music. Any Bride/Groom that thinks its more important that they hear what they want regardless of what the other people like is selfish and maybe should grow up a bit before they tie the knot. Just a thought....

Posted by: Brian G | Mar 22, 2008 11:04:06 PM

Back in the dark ages, 1983, a band played at my wedding. They were great. However, this band (they played at most of my friends’ weddings) did not play our song which was the Long Run by the Eagles. What a bummer. Instead, we had to pick out a random song with no meaning to us. As time goes on, you will find no one remembers was It real or was it Memorex. Instead, they will remember the the happy and in love bride and groom, feelings elicited by the music and that it was a fun party.

Posted by: Michelle | Mar 22, 2008 01:49:08 PM

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A Washingtonian Wedding: Decisions

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