It’s no secret that we at Washingtonian.com think our blogging groomzilla is funnier than . . . well, funnier than someone really, really funny. But Josh had to take the week off from posting (he has to do work for his actual job, or so he claims), which means our Wednesday morning giggle fix is not happening. To console ourselves, we rounded up some of Josh’s best lines from past posts. Enjoy!

On wedding magazines:
Do you want to know what’s really causing global warming? Head down to your local megabookstore and, while cuddling yourself in the warm goodness that is a grande skinny latte with a sugar-free hazelnut shot (I recently learned Star-bonics), head to the magazine section. I swear that half the Amazon rainforest has been turned into paper for these magazines.

On having your wedding in a historic house:
Washington has a great selection, but beware—we went to one house that smelled like history had had too much Olde English malt liquor and had thrown up in the corner.

On buying the ring together but waiting to propose:
This is a good tactic only if she doesn’t own a handgun and you keep all knives and blunt objects locked up.

On the registry gun:
Now, one of the reasons I love my fiancée is that she still surprises me. One of those surprises was she loves red laser beams as much as I do!

On being bored at the florist:
He did get my attention when he suggested a water wall at the foot of the escalators near the entrance to the ballroom. I thought we should have the guests bob for place cards, but for some reason this idea was shot down.

Josh, Bridal Party’s guest-blogging groomzilla, writes every Wednesday about the groom’s perspective on wedding planning and everything that comes with it. To follow his story from the beginning, click here.

To read the latest Bridal Party blog posts, click here.