You're not imagining things: The dating scene really does suck for women in Washington, and the reason why has nothing to do with love or romance.
It's all about demographics: There are 49 percent more college-educated women in DC, age 24 and younger, than college-educated men. Americans typically marry within their same educational level, so it's no wonder dating can be downright awful for women.
That's the premise behind Jon Birger's recently released book, Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. Birger, a former writer at Money and Fortune magazines, calls this phenomenon "the man deficit."
He first caught on to the idea when he and his wife turned 30. They realized they didn't have any single male friends. What they did have were a bunch of terrific female friends who just couldn't find suitable partners. "That made no sense," he says.
He started digging through Census data and discovered the problem was much bigger than his own experience. He says it's a nationwide phenomenon. At birth, things are pretty straightforward: 1.05 boys are born in the US for every one girl. But when it comes to college-educated women between the ages of 22 and 29, the numbers shift considerably. In that case, there are four women for every three men.
Washington women have it pretty bad, but it's actually worse elsewhere. The gap in Miami is a whopping 86 percent. It's also tough finding a date in rural areas. "The surprising thing is that in rural states like Montana and Mississippi, this college man deficit is actually worse," Birger says.
And the inverse applies to non-college-grads. In that cohort, there's a deficit of ladies: "There's an oversupply [of men] in the working class." (Though the book focuses on straight couples, Birger also delves into how the gay and lesbian community affects the "heterosexual dating pool.")
So what's a gal to do? Accustomed to writing about what he describes as "boring stuff like the stock market and oil and gas," Birger is the first to admit he's no dating coach. But while self-help books rattle on about how "he's just not that into you," his book offers a very different explanation: "It’s that there aren’t enough of him."
In other words, it's not a woman's fault she can't find a partner. "It seems from reading a lot of dating books... the message is, 'You’re going about it wrong,'" Birger says. "My message is, 'This is not a strategic problem. This is a demographic problem."
His advice, as you might expect, is more wonky than inspirational: "The long term solution is to get more men to attend college. This is a labor, economic problem."
There you have it, ladies.
I grew up reading the Harry Potter books.
In a way, I learned how to read through the series. I was Hermione for Halloween at least three times in elementary school; I owned a potions-making kit when I was seven and used to listen to the books on tape to help me fall asleep.
I eventually started to develop a British accent, so those tapes were taken away from me.
Though my initial overt obsession with the series has faded, when I heard about Black Cat’s "Muggle Mondays," a series of weekly ventures that would involve butterbeer and Harry Potter movies, I couldn’t help but be extremely excited.
I headed to 14th Street last night, expecting the energy and dorky exuberance only real Harry Potter fans can bring. Butterbeer would be flowing from goblets. People would be dressed up in wizard robes and the staff would be wearing hats. Maybe, they had even hired someone who looked like Hagrid—the options were endless and I expected them all.
After writing an oral history of Clueless's famous "suck and blow" scene for Vulture, former Washington Post columnist Jen Chaney decided to write a book on the classic '90s teen movie. Released earlier this month in celebration of the film's 20th anniversary, As If! reveals how close Dave Chappelle came to being cast and "keepin' it real" as Murray and how much the movie owes to Jane Austen.
Chaney will be talking about the book this Saturday at Politics & Prose in Dupont Circle; you can also catch her at a screening of the film on July 16 at the AFI Silver Theatre and at the Newseum on July 25. Here's a sneak peek of what Chaney learned in her reporting.
A certain kind of ex-child will be ecstatic to read that Norton Juster will come to Washington on July 12 for a screening of a new documentary on his famous children's book The Phantom Tollbooth.
The Phantom Tollbooth: Beyond Expectations tells the story of how the Phantom Tollbooth came to be and delves into the relationship between Juster and his longtime friend, Jules Feiffer--the Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist who illustrated the book. (It also includes testimony from four students at Georgetown Day School.) Here's a sneak peek of what you can expect to hear from Juster on Sunday at the National Museum of Natural History.
Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from a Petworth stairhead last evening, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. Mulligan, Leopold Bloom, and the rest of the characters from James Joyce's Ulysses have taken over the Petworth Citizen (829 Upshur St., NW) for the next 30-odd hours, where a marathon reading of the novel is on Bloomsday, June 16.
The Petworth bar, which claims to host DC's only marathon reading of the book, was open all night, serving coffee, Irish whiskey, and—during opening hours—its full menu. Here's an approximate schedule of the rest of Tuesday, especially useful for anyone who'd rather skip over that damned "Oxen of the Sun" episode:
Nausicaa 1: 8am
Nausicaa 2: 9am
Oxen of the Sun 1: 10am
Oxen of the Sun 2: 11am
Oxen of the Sun 1: 12pm
Circe 1: 12:30pm
Circe 2: 1:30pm
Circe 3: 2:30pm
Circe 4: 3:30pm
Circe 5: 4:30pm
Eumaeus 1: 5pm
Eumaeus 2: 6pm
Ithaca 1: 7pm
Ithaca 2: 8pm
Ithaca 3: 9pm
Penelope 1: 10pm
Penelope 2: 11pm
Penelope 3: 12am
Susan Orlean's innate curiosity has made her a writer's writer, the kind who inspires a sort of wild fanaticism typically reserved for kittens and pop stars. She got her start at a tiny, now-defunct monthly in Portland and in 1992 landed her current gig as a staff writer at the New Yorker, where she's earned a reputation for her oddball sense of humor and remarkable knack for finding stories in the most unlikeliest of places.
It's this same curiosity that has taken her beyond the written page. Orlean, who will appear tonight at a belated National Puppy Day celebration at Sixth & I, has become a proponent for digital media. The acclaimed magazine writer has a podcast about crying, an online video class about creative nonfiction, and nearly 300,000 Twitter followers who legitimately love seeing pictures of her cat. "I've always been really curious about different ways of telling stories," Orlean says. "I'm somebody who's really comfortable in the digital world."
Her podcast, Crybabies, is just one example of that. Hosted by Orlean and actress Sarah Thyre, the podcast is all about what makes people cry. The premise is simple: Talking about crying encourages guests, which in the past have included comedian Jenny Slate and parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic, to open up about their lives. Much like Orlean's book, Saturday Night, which focuses on how Americans spend that one night off each week, Crybabies serves as a portal to tell a greater tale.
"It's an entirely unexplored idea," Orlean says. "I've always liked taking a single notion and applying it to a real variety of settings or individuals to see the similarities and differences in them."
Podcasting's cool factor has grown exponentially, with promising upstarts like Invisibilia hoping to piggyback off the success of Serial. To Orlean, this rapid rise resembles what happened to blogging, a once-personal format that, like podcasting, can have lax editorial oversight and unlimited space constraints.
It helps that podcasting is convenient for a writer with a busy travel schedule. The same can be said about Orlean's venture with Skillshare, an online video school. For $10 a month, Skillshare students get access to more than 1,000 classes, including Orlean's. Her class--a video lecture series with nearly two hours of instruction time--has already been viewed by more than 2,000 pupils. Budding journalists get easy access to a famous writer, and instructors get a convenient way to teach without sacrificing too much time.
Though the online course doesn't encourage student-instructor interaction, she's comfortable communicating with them--and the rest of her fans--through Twitter. The way Orlean, a Twitter user since 2007, talks about the platform makes her sound just like a social media editor, except she uses words like "storytelling" and "craft" instead of "engagement" and "strategy." She says she uses the platform to "think out loud" and connect with readers. For her, it's just another way to practice her craft; much like she would for a magazine story, she considers things like persona, voice, and narrative. "I tell stories. I write them. I see them printed on the page. But there's another side of me that enjoys learning about what this other stuff is," she says.
That means tweeting out advice to young writers and sharing quirky tidbits about her personal life. Orlean spoke to Washingtonian during her trip to the airport, and within two minutes of hanging up, a fresh tweet had materialized on her account.
On my way to DC. Time to play What Did I Forget To Pack This Time! Bonus round!!— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) March 25, 2015
Check out Susan Orlean's event at Sixth & I alongside author Alexandra Horowitz, as they share stories about their canine companions. Bonus: The Washington Humane Society is bringing dogs. 7 PM, $15.
Amanda Palmer is the first to admit she’s had a career many would call bizarre.
She got her start as a living statue called the Eight-Foot Bride in Boston. She created the “punk cabaret” band Dresden Dolls and its follow-up, Amanda Palmer & the Grand Theft Orchestra. She has a penchant for crowd-surfing naked and sometimes employs the F-word as a middle name. And she’s known to contact fans via social media for practice space or a couch to crash on when touring.
That DIY ethos came back to bite her in 2012 when she briefly became the internet’s most hated artist after raising $1.2 million through Kickstarter to fund a new album, then asking musicians to back her on tour—for free. Palmer defended her decision on her blog and broke down exactly how she’d spent the money; she also announced later that year that she would begin paying her “volunteer musicians.”
The 38-year-old has condensed the lessons gleaned from these experiences into her first book, The Art of Asking—a “memoir slash manifesto,” she calls it—that she discusses November 12 at Sixth & I. The kernel of the book began during a TED Talk Palmer gave last year, ostensibly to tell how she launched the most successful music crowd-funding project in history but also to explain her philosophy of requesting help without shame.
“Everybody at some point finds themselves in the position of needing to ask for a certain kind of help, and everybody finds themselves in the position of offering help,” she says. “Friends, time, energy, love, space, listening, talent—there are so many levels of asking for help that I think we just block off from our reality.”
A book had been in the back of her mind for some time, but the TED Talk—and a “dominatrix editor”—pushed her to commit words to page. The result is part autobiography, part business manual, part feminist statement, with an exploration of her marriage to fantasy author Neil Gaiman thrown in, all filtered through the idea that learning to trust and lean on others is a welcome necessity and an inescapable part of the human experience.
How Palmer’s hippie-ish theory plays in hyper-competent, type-A Washington remains to be seen, though she insists the “ask and ye shall receive” concept is universal. “Human beings like to help each other, and to feel connected and useful,” she says. “Sometimes they just need a way in.”
Purchase tickets ($15 to $18) at sixthandi.org.
This article appears in the November 2014 issue of Washingtonian.
Alice McDermott, one of Washington's most acclaimed writers, is one of ten writers longlisted for a National Book Award for fiction. The judges have selected Someone, McDermott's novel about a woman living in Brooklyn around the time of World War II, for this year's group, along with books by Thomas Pynchon, George Saunders, James McBride, Rachel Kushner, and more.
McDermott was first selected as a finalist for the award in 1987 for her novel That Night, which was also a finalist for the Pen/Faulkner Award and the Pulitzer Prize. She won the National Book Award in 1998 for Charming Billy, the tale of an Irish-American community mourning a lovable but melancholy rogue.
Someone, says Washingtonian reviewer John Wilwol, "unfolds through a series of snapshots capturing the life of a woman living in Brooklyn before, during, and after the Second World War. The stories are lean and deliberate, and they appear to be randomly assembled, like snapshots pulled from an old shoebox. But as the exquisite images and poignant truths add up, we're reminded that nothing happens in a McDermott novel by accident. This is a writer in complete control."Read the full review. The finalists for the award will be announced October 16, and the winner November 20.
Washington is often cited as one of the most literate cities in the world, but it’s a lesser-known fact that the city also serves as the setting for countless novels. DC Public Library’s Tony Ross and Kim Zablud have set out to expose the vast world of local fiction by creating a new interactive literary website called DC by the Book.
The site provides a database of fiction books that are set in the District, and is based around an interactive map that shows the exact locations described in books that take place within city limits. Readers can enter addresses or ZIP codes to see which books have passages set nearby, and can also submit parts from books to be included on the map. The Institute of Museum and Library Services awarded Ross and Zablud a Technology Act Grant for the project last April, and the two began working on it in October.
The launch party for DC by the Book was at the Chinatown location of Busboys and Poets Wednesday, March 27. Librarians, historians, and avid readers walked through the bustling restaurant into a small room in the back corner of the building at Fifth and K streets, Northwest. The room was only supposed to hold 90 people, but a few more squeezed into the intimate space for a chance to hear about the new website and to see the local authors who had come to support the project.
Ross, who grew up in the area and was wearing a Cool “Disco” Dan shirt, began the program by talking about his initial idea for the map.
“I started to discover there’s this bigger world of DC authors,” he said. “This is a tool that’ll help people learn about their neighborhoods in a different way.”
Natasha Trethewey has been named the 19th US poet laureate, succeeding Phillip Levine. Trethewey, 46, joins a distinguished line of poets who’ve held the coveted post at the Library of Congress over the years, including W.S. Merwin, Kay Ryan, Charles Simic, and Rita Dove. Her duties will begin in the fall.
In a statement released today, the Librarian of Congress, James H. Billington, says, “Natasha Trethewey is an outstanding poet/historian in the mold of Robert Penn Warren, our first poet laureate consultant in poetry. Her poems dig beneath the surface of history—personal or communal, from childhood or from a century ago—to explore the human struggles that we all face.”