Earlier today we wrote about the Amazing Case of the Mount Vernon Square Bros—and turns out some of our female readers were drawn to the ad’s writers like a pride of bro lions to a watering hole. Two “classy betches” posted their own ad proposing a night of drinking that would, no doubt, lead to the most epic bro-betch romances imaginable. Hope this pans out for you, ladies. But if you end up getting married, don’t tell us—we don’t think we could handle the dismantling of the Jamatorium.
My betch Nora & I saw your ad in the Washingtonian (because really, who reads Craigslist besides serial killers) and couldn’t resist sending an email. You see, my astrologist told me yesterday that 7 is my lucky number this week, so I believe it was fate that your article appeared in my “Google News Alert’’ for “renaissance bro”. The number 7 is important because 1) that is how long your bromance has been going on, but 2) because Nora and I began our girlmance* 7 months ago and it has been going pretty strong. It may not hold a candle to your 7-year bromance, but we have a proposition for you to marinate on: Take us out for a bro-betch-tastic night of drinking. Let me tell you a little about us, since we feel like we truly know your inner-workings from your posting. I’m Chloe (24/F/DC/DTF [probably]) and my betch is Nora (26/F/DC). We enjoy: Bros that don’t wear Ed Hardy, Affliction, Nantucket red, boat shoes, or croakies; Bros that play musical instruments (Nora plays the cello, but usually naked); Bros that have “legit” 9-5 jobs (so do we, although we’re government, so think 9:45 to 4:15); Bros who are liberal about social issues (want their girlfriends to have abortions) and semi-conservative about the economy (hate taxes); Bros that “like to bed” betches (we expect clean sheets, and breakfast pizza leftover from the night before, or at least access to a spoonful of organic peanut butter when we wake up — safe words are negotiable); and Jameson. Sounds like a stellar time, right? We certainly think it does, let’s make some memories.
*Girlmance - esoteric term used to describe the relationship between two women who share the same level of comradery as bros but also enjoy activities including but not limited too; binge drinking, casual hookups, the Wire, music with electric guitar and cultured undertakings and outings if not prohibited by debilating hangovers. Rare, but have been known to exist in metropolitan areas of DC and NYC.
As for the identity of the bros in question, we stumbled on this website, created in June by Josh Roush and Jeremy Swartz, that seems to fit the criteria of the original ad, though we haven't yet been able to substantiate the link.
So Josh and Jeremy, if you're reading and that ad is yours, get in touch—we found your dates for this weekend.