BURLESQUE: Red Palace’s days are numbered (here, I’ll number them—they have five days left), so if you want one last chance to see burlesque at DC’s best burlesque place, tonight’s the night. Dancer Shortstaxx and her crew of dancers and sideshow daredevils from Baltimore come down to strut their stuff. 8:30 PM, $10.
DANCE: International DJs come to DC semi-regularly, but turns out we’ve got a DC native that’s about to go international. Tittsworth is playing one last DC show before he heads out to Australia and Asia in early 2013. His electronic beats go pretty hard, so come ready to dance. 10 PM, $5.DRINK: Rock and Roll Hotel is keeping happy hour going all night—that means $4 rails, $3 PBRs, and half-priced wings until last call. Head up to their heated roof and try one of the many hot drinks they’ve got goin’ on this winter.
Friday, December 28
SPORTS: DC's biggest sporting event since the Nats were in the playoffs (doesn’t it feel good to say that? Geez it wasn’t too long ago) is Sunday night, but if you don’t already have tickets to the Skins game, most of you probably aren’t willing to pay the nearly $300 it’ll cost for you to get in. Go see the complete other end of the spectrum with a Wizards game as they try to avoid being the worst team in the league. The 3-23 ‘Zards just lost ground on the 7-23 Cavaliers, and the 7-21 Bobcats are also trying to tank: They’ve lost 16 in a row. But hey, tickets are only a couple bucks on Stubhub. Bring some friends and a sense of humor. 7 PM, tickets starting at $8 on StubHub.MUSIC: We haven't gotten a Talking Heads reunion since 2002, so if you want to hear hits like Psycho Killer or Burning Down the House, Start Making Sense, the best Heads tribute band around, is your best bet. They’ll be playing at the Hamilton. 8:30 PM, $19.
Saturday, December 29
THROWBACK: Black Cat's backstage is throwing it back a few decades with Shake & Shout, a night of early rock and roll, garage, surf, soul, and funk. The dance night will benefit Norton Records, the Brooklyn record label whose warehouse was destroyed during Hurricane Sandy. 10 PM, $5.LEARN BURLESQUE: Without Red Palace, someone’s going to have to pick up the DC burlesque mantle (or not, maybe you guys aren’t into it?). Why not you? LivingSocial is hosting a two-hour intro to burlesque course—first you’ll watch some professionals strut their stuff before moving on stage yourself. There’ll also be plenty of bourbon too to help calm the nerves. 6:30 PM, $39.
Sunday, December 30
MUSIC: Red Palace hosts its last concert ever, and they’ll go out angry. Local punk rockers Pharmacists (not Ted Leo’s) headline, and hardcore bands from PG County (woo!) and Baltimore open up. Come throw people around one last time. 7:30 PM, $10.
DRINK: Everyone knows Monday’s going to be an absolute mess—if you have to work or just want to get your drink on without the crowds, Black Cat has got you covered. Their pre-amateurhour happy hour night goes from 8 PM ‘til last call. It’s like happy hour except during the good drinking hours. 8 PM, free.
Monday, December 31
NYE: We’ve got a pretty exhaustive list of things to do on New Year’s Eve over here (or dinners options here, or some no-cover bar deals here), but if you've been procrastinating or can’t bring yourself to drop $100 on an open bar, you’ve got a couple options. By the way, many bars will stay open until 4 AM under DC’s new holiday regulations.
Red Palace’s last night is going undead—they’ll have a zombie-themed New Year’s Eve party. Five bucks gets you in the door and a champagne toast at midnight. 9 PM, $5.The fairly classyish Marvin is forgoing an open bar event for a $15 cover and a “The Warriors” themed party. That means wear an open vest and long flowing locks, please. If you can’t handle that, wear your ‘80s best. Prices go up to $20 day of. 9 PM, $15.
Also kind-of-surprisingly, U Street Music Hall isn’t doing anything too out of the ordinary for NYE, and $10 for the honor of getting rocked by their incredible bass is always worth it. The Volta Bureau, featuring UHall owner Will Eastman, will spin all night. 9 PM, $10.
Tuesday, January 1
LIGHTS: Christmas is over, but if you missed Zoolights, you’re doing yourself a huge disservice. The first day of 2013 is the last day of Zoolights, so get to the zoo as soon as it gets dark and check out all the cool animals. Don’t miss the slide or the various houses, where you can see animals past their bedtimes (and nocturnal ones going nuts). 5-9 PM, free.
COMEDY & TRIVIA: Bravo if you still want to go to a bar on Jan. 1—it means you’re either stronger than the rest of us, you didn’t do it correctly on NYE, or you don’t believe in resolutions. Penn Social will still have their always excellent trivia night, and Blue Banana in Petworth will have an open mic stand up comedy night. Blue Banana: 8:30 PM, free. Penn Social 7 PM, free.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at email@example.com, or find him on Twitter @jason_koebler.