Thursday, February 28
JOURNALISTS PERFORMING: More than a dozen journalists vie for the coveted title of Washington’s funniest journalist/standup comic (yo, where was my invite?). Politico’s Jon Alley and Patrick Reis, National Journal’s Elahe Izadi, the Post’s Alexandra Petri, DCist’s Valeria Paschall, and more will perform at the Hamilton for Commedia dell Media. Proceeds benefit Writopia and REACH, organizations that help out with youth literacy. Tickets are $22.50 online or $33 at the door. 8 PM.
#STORYTELLING: Ever accidentally read a text you weren’t supposed to or tweet something from your company’s corporate account? Most technological misfires aren’t too bad, but we’ve all got an embarrassing story or two—Speakeasy DC is hosting a night of stories at Atlas Performing Arts Center about how Facebook, g-chat, and whatever else you kids are using these days has changed how we communicate. Tickets ($20) are available online. 7:30 PM.
SHOP/DRINK: Not sure how you feel about drinking at a Banana Republic store, but it’s launching a new Mad Men collection and throwing a cocktail party to celebrate. Hit up either DC location after 5—you can also save 30 percent on full-price items if you have a Banana Republic credit card, which you probably do not. Free. 5 PM.
DRINK: Washington’s best tech startups show off their wares, apps, websites, and whatever else they’ve got going on at 1776’s cocktail mixer. If you’re into cutting-edge stuff or are trying to tap into the industry, check it out. Tickets ($20) are available through Eventbrite. 6:30 PM.
Friday, March 1
PATIOS: Standard, the barbecue joint and beer garden next to Black Cat, is reopening for the summer tomorrow. The place was packed all last summer and is one of the best places to grab happy hour if you can snag a seat. 5 PM.
DRINK: The Gibson is hosting an Artini happy hour, which means really good craft martinis for not-ridiculous prices. Corcoran alum Frank Jones will stir up drinks inspired by French painter Henri Regnault’s work. 6 PM.
MORE JOURNALISTS PERFORMING: Wow, this city just really loves journalists doing things that aren’t their day job. Black Cat is hosting Journopalooza, a battle of the bands that will probably devolve into some sort of Twitter riot afterwards. Again, proceeds benefit Writopia and REACH. Tickets are $20 online or $30 at the door. 7:30 PM.
BURLESQUE: If you think journalists should stick to writing, head to Black Cat’s backstage for the suggestively named Petting the Cat, a burlesque night featuring some of the best dancers from New York City and Richmond. Tickets ($12) are available online. 8:45 and 11 PM.
Saturday, March 2
DANCE: Tittsworth, one of DC’s best deejays, moved to LA a while ago, but it seems like he’s here every other weekend. That’s good news for you, because whenever he spins, things get crazy. Saturday is his birthday, and he’s performing at U Street Music Hall. For whatever reason, there’ll be free bacon. Don’t question it. Free before 11 PM; $10 after. 10 PM.
HAVANA NIGHTS: It’s March so it’s time to start dreaming of warmer weather. All Points West will turn Atlas Performing Arts Center into Little Havana for the night, ripping through classic Cuban songs and speeding up the beat when you’re ready to dance. Entry includes a free Cuba Libre, which is Spanish for “drink this rum and coke and don’t question it.” Tickets ($20) are available online. 7 PM.
BAR CRAWL: The beginning of March also means the beginning of St. Patrick’s Day season, which now takes over the whole month. Hit up the Leprechaun Lap Bar Tour, which stops by 21 Dupont Circle bars, which is three more than you usually go to on a Friday night. Ten bucks gets you a wristband, a bunch of green beads, a strolling bagpiper (this is essential), and $2 Coors Lights and $3 Blue Moons all night. $10. 1 to 9 PM.
BEER: America’s top breweries (Sierra Nevada, Heavy Seas, Ommegang, Great Lakes, Flying Dog, Magic Hat, etc. etc. for like 20 more breweries) pour their best beers at the annual Brewer’s Ball at the National Building Museum. Restaurants such as Sequoia, Ris, Jack Rose, Hank’s Oyster Bar, and Shake Shack serve up the grub. Proceeds benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation—and this is a gala, so let’s try to look nice. Tickets ($130) are available online. 7 PM.
Sunday, March 3
DANCE: Didn’t get enough dancing in this weekend? The recently reopened Safari Club in Petworth hosts Daylight, a day/evening/night of soul, house, hip-hop, and ’80s jams. Free before 6:30 PM; $5 after. 5 PM.
BASKETBALL: The Harlem Globetrotters will be at the Patriot Center doing their thing—and as part of this tour, you can vote to change the rules (four-point shots, six on five, two balls, zero-gravity mode . . . okay, maybe not that last one). Anyway, check it out if you want to see ridiculous backyard basketball. Tickets ($28 to $160) are available online. 2 PM.
CHOCOLATE: Disappointed with the candy you pulled in on Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry about it—Old Town Fairfax’s Chocolate Lovers Festival has you covered. Enjoy chocolate chip pancakes, chocolate fondue, and anything else you can think to put chocolate on. Tastes are a buck each. Free. Noon.
FOOD: Toki Underground is going to be serving a seven-course Laotian tasting menu this weekend. Judging by how lines usually are, you better make a reservation (required for this event) ASAP if you want a seat. Call 202-388-3086. $50. 5 PM to close.*
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at email@example.com, or find him on Twitter @jason_koebler.
*This post has been updated from a previous version.