Thursday, March 7
SPORTS (KINDA): DC United are bringing their 1999 MLS Championship trophy to Penn Social in anticipation of their first home game of the season Saturday. Wear your gear and you can take pictures with the thing, allowing you to pretend like you have world-class athletic prowess. If you’re lucky, a player or two will show up, but either way you get $4 pints of Peroni and Stella during the event. Free. 6 PM.
DRINK: Artini heads to P.O.V. at the W—mixologist Joe Ambrose stirs up martinis inspired by Renoir’s “View From Cap Martin of Monte Carlo,” which currently hangs at the Corcoran. Free. 6 PM.
Friday, March 8
DANCE: It’s time for Dance Bethesda 2013, which means free dance lessons and parties—learn how to salsa, rumba, ballroom, tap, swing, or hip-hop dance at one of five downtown Bethesda dance studios. Free. 8 PM.
VARIETY SHOW: The Encyclopedia Show DC is back at 9th & Beats (on a new night!) with performances all about colors. Comedians, storytellers, musicians, and slam poets will tell you all about green (marijuana policy), the Black Keys, and rainbows, and you’ll even get to check out a live comedic painting. Wear your favorite color. Tickets ($10) are available online. 7:30 PM.
SPELL: Rock & Roll Hotel’s Spelling Buzz Spelling Bee is tough to say five times fast but not too tough to spell. Show up at 6 and drink a PBR and a shot of whiskey each time you spell a word correctly. First place gets you all those drinks for free ($60 off your bar tab) . . . if it costs more than that, get yourself to a hospital, stat. Free. 6 PM.
Saturday, March 9
ST. PATRICK’S DAY: Get whiskeyed up in Dupont—eight bars (the usuals: Mackey’s, Buffalo Billiards, etc., plus Board Room, James Hoban’s, Irish Whiskey Public House, and Science Club) are serving eight different whiskeys for $40 as part of the DC Whiskey Walk. You may want to take the 11 AM food option if you plan to make it through the entire day. Tickets are $40 without food included (beginning at noon) or $50 with food (beginning at 11), available through Eventbrite.
GREEN BEER: For whatever reason, Public Bar was too cool to participate in the Whiskey Walk. Instead it’s serving up green beer all day. Admission is $10, green beers are $3, green Jell-o shots are $2, and green Red Bull vodkas are $7. 2 to 10 PM.
MORE ST. PATRICK’S DAY: If you’re sick of Dupont but still want an excuse to day drink, head to Clarendon’s Shamrock Crawl, which hits Whitlow’s (duh), Mad Rose, Velocity Five, Mister Days, Wilson Tavern, and more. Participants get $5 Irish Car Bombs (take it easy, buddy), $3 rails, and $2 Yuenglings all day. Tickets are $15 online or $20 the day of. 1 to 9 PM.
LEARN: Maybe instead of turning yourself into a leprechaun you can go ahead and actually learn something at DC9’s Nerd Nite. Experts on bacteria, marine conservation, and whales will give TED-style talks with a twist—namely that you get to drink beer while you watch it. Tickets ($10) are available online. 6:30 PM.
FILM: The sixth annual Our City Film Festival opens at Atlas Performing Arts Center Saturday with a party featuring live music from ragtime band the Bumper Jacksons, drinks, and free giveaways. The festival, which has showings Sunday, focuses on films about the District—subjects include go-go, bilingual charter schools, graffiti, Metro, and the gentrification of U Street. Free. 9:30 PM.
Sunday, March 10
COMEDY: Professional comedian Chris Coccia and DC Improv co-owner Allyson Jaffe will be at Cause Philanthropub talking about the art of standup comedy, what makes a joke work, and whether just anyone can train themselves to be funny. Tickets are $9 in advance or $12 at the door. 6 PM.
BRUNCH: Lost Society is hosting a bottomless brunch to support the Salvation Army’s Turning Point Center for Women and Children, which provides housing for homeless single mothers. The brunch includes bomos (bottomless mimosas—get with it) and a full brunch buffet. Tickets ($45) are available online. 12:30 PM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at email@example.com, or find him on Twitter @jason_koebler.