Thursday, May 24
POOL: Who says it has to be a weekend to go for a dip? The Liaison Capitol Hill is hosting a happy hour at its rooftop poolside bar, which just opened for the season. Free. 5 PM.
BURLESQUE: Red Palace is out to prove that the best burlesque isn’t necessarily American. Burlesque Without Borders features dances from Finland, Spain, Canada, and more. Tickets ($12) are available online. 8:30 PM.
MUSIC: Remember Matisyahu? He’s still around, I guess—and he’s performing at The TEN at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue. After an acoustic show, he and the New Republic’s Frank Foer will discuss the Shavuot, which celebrates the day God handed the Old Testament to Moses. Sounds like more fun than a lot of religious proceedings. Tickets ($25) are available online. 7:30 PM.
Friday, May 25
PHOTOS: We’re not sure if everyone was expecting you to go to the Drake concert tonight, is headed to the beach, or just pushed their bashes back till Saturday, but DC is surprisingly quiet for a Friday. Save your energy for Sunday and check out Diverging Mediums at Torpedo Factory, which compares DSLR photography with similar shots taken on an iPhone. Free.
DANCING: If you must get your dance on, check out Black Cat’s ’80s Mayhem, a night of—you guessed it—’80s dance music. It’s in the main room, so you’ll have plenty of space to show off your leg warmers. Tickets ($10) are available online. 9 PM.
DIVAS: If you want something (slightly) more modern, head down the street to 9:30 Club, who is hosting a Lady Gaga & Madonna vs. Katy Perry & Britney Spears dance night, with the loser having to give up ridiculous publicity stunts. Tickets ($15) are available online. 9 PM.
Saturday, May 26
MORE POOL: If last night wasn’t too rough, head back to the Liaison Capitol Hill first thing in the morning for an hour of vinyasa yoga starting at 7:30, followed by a rooftop brunch (breakfast?) and all-day access to the pool. $50; reservations are required. 7:30 AM.
MUSIC CONTEST: It’s not even particularly patriotic to say America’s music generally tops the charts around the world, but there’s plenty of good stuff being made internationally. The annual Eurovision contest pits all of Europe against each other--each country submits a song and each country votes on it. More than 600 million people watch worldwide, and you can this year, too--the Embassy of Austria is hosting a watch party, featuring music (duh), food, and drinks. Tickets ($10; includes one drink) are available online. 2 PM.
DOWNTOWN DANCING: What’s your favorite dance spot? How about a moving dance party? Join hundreds of other people at the Decentralized Dance Party--wear a suit (the theme is Strictly Business) and bring a radio. The lead deejay will have everyone switch to a certain FM channel and you’ll all hear the music separately. It’s flashmob meets dance party—what’s not to like? Location TBA (check Facebook Friday). 8 PM.
VARIETY: If more, uh, centralized parties are your thing, check out Brightest Young Things’ Zou Bisou Bisou Soiree, a variety show at the French embassy. Expect plenty of musical guests, drinks, and nonsense. Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 the day of. 8 PM.
Sunday, May 27
POOL: Even though there have been a couple rooftop pool parties around town already, Memorial Day is the official unofficial start of summer. Capitol Skyline Hotel is going to be hosting Adult Swim—massive pool parties—every weekend. This week, there’ll be a deejay, live music, grilled meats, six bars, and hundreds of twentysomethings for you to get silly with. Free until 1 PM with RSVP; $20 after. Noon to 6.
SEAFOOD: What’s summer without seafood? Clarendon’s 3 Bar is hosting its Memorial Day Oystravaganza, a night dedicated to the unlucky bivalves. Enjoy oysters prepared 14 different ways, and grab a drink or two while you’re at it. 5 PM.
Monday, May 28
WEEKDAY BRUNCH: You didn’t think you’d get off the weekend that easy did you? Ping Pong Dim Sum (both of ’em) is bringing brunch to Monday with its All Day Party Brunch, which really means all day and night. Enjoy all-you-can-eat dim sum and bottomless mimosas for 12 hours, starting at 11:30 AM. $40.
CRABS: We’re close enough to Maryland to claim the crab. While you won’t get the (excuse me) crabbiness you might at a Baltimore or Eastern Shore crab house, you can still enjoy the succulent crustaceans at Policy’s annual crab feast. Starting at noon, enjoy all-you-can-eat crabs, hushpuppies, potato salad, and more. Not sure if you’ll be able to crack a Natty Boh or a Bud heavy, but DC Brau will be on hand, and I’m sure it goes just fine. $35. Noon to 5.
PARADE: Besides all the barbecues and pool parties, you’re actually supposed to spend Memorial Day, you know, memorializing. The
National Memorial Day Parade brings out about a quarter million people annually and features service members, military bands, and more. Constitution Avenue.
Follow Jason Koebler on Twitter at @jason_koebler or e-mail him at email@example.com.