Is Carla Hall the next Top Chef?

In part one of Top Chef’s New Orleans finale, which aired on Bravo last week, local gal Carla Hall impressed Emeril Lagasse with her oyster stew and savory beignets, earning a place among the final three contestants. Loyal hometown fans loved Hall even before her quirky yet adorable “hootie-hoo!” call through the supermarket, but over the past few episodes, she’s proven herself to be a serious contender for the Top Chef title (and lifetime supply of Glad products).

The Takoma Park resident is originally from Nashville but came to DC to attend Howard University in the ’80s. Postcollege, she explored a few career paths—accounting for Price Waterhouse, modeling in Europe—and eventually followed her love of cooking to Bethesda’s L’Academie de Cuisine in 1995. She founded her own boutique catering company, Alchemy Caterers, in 2001.

The crazy in Carla has won us over. You go, Big Bird!

In her monotone, dragging voice, Leah opens this episode by telling us that cooking is the only thing she’s ever been able to do really well. Winning, she says, would be a validation of her hard work. Do we sense a sliver of enthusiasm?

Long-haired chef Wylie Dufresne, known for his quirky molecular gastronomy at Manhattan’s WD-50, is on hand as the guest judge. He’s obsessed with eggs (who knew?), so for the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs have an hour to create an egg dish that “will surprise our egghead,” says Padma, laughing.

Red in the face, Fabio exclaims, “I’m pissed!” when Dufresne puts him in the bottom for his sunny-side-up eggs two ways. He’s joined Hosea, who tried too hard to incorporate eggs into a Japanese-style breakfast, and Leah, whose potato ravioli were too heavy and greasy. Stefan (obviously) lands in the top with a whimsical eggs two ways—a poached eggs Benedict and a panna cotta with a mango “yolk.” But it’s Carla’s green eggs and ham that takes the cake for its playfulness.

We're in love with this man.

We’ve been waiting breathlessly all week for last night’s episode—or at least for the sultry Eric Ripert to play guest judge. We’re not sure whether it’s his French accent and signature pout or Padma’s barely-there tank top, but the chefs quiet down and behave for the visiting chef. Or maybe they’re just burnt out. Even Jamie, the last member of Team Rainbow, blushes a little bit.

For the Quickfire Challenge, there’s a March Madness-style tournament of fish fileting in honor of Ripert, master of all things oceanic. First, the chefs have to butterfly two sardines, the tiniest of fish. “I should just go home now,” says Leah. When Ripert and Padma come over to inspect Carla’s work, she cutesily just shoos them on—she knows she’s failed. Jamie says she’s never cleaned a sardine in her life—and it shows.

Where does all my crazy energy come from? The hair. Duh.

We’re thrilled right from the start of this episode when Leah claims that last week’s make-out session with Hosea was a drunken, one-time thing and it’ll never happen again. Finally, the show’s back to focusing on cooking, not kissing.

The chefs file into the kitchen to find Scott Conant, whose Italian restaurant, Scarpetta, was awarded three stars by the New York Times. Starting with Jamie, everyone writes his or her name on a chalkboard grid, and the placement ultimately decides the main ingredient each person will be working with. Then Padma tells them that they have to—wait for it—use their ingredient with Quaker Oats “in a new and exciting way.” Really? We’re not sure which is worse—this or last season’s challenge with Uncle Ben’s microwavable packets.

Gollum? Stefan? Gollum!

As the episode opens, Hosea reminds us that half the contestants have gone home, and Carla likens the weekly challenges to “psychological warfare.” Then, when discussing last week’s victim, Ariane, Fabio says she was “beat with a s--- stick.” Did we mistakenly tune into American Gladiator? No, but we do get the famous restaurant-wars challenge, where two teams have 24 hours to create a place and get it up and running for a night of real customers. For the Quickfire Challenge, each chef must come up with one dish to represent his or her idea for a restaurant. Philadelphia restaurateur Stephen Starr is guest-judging and will decide the winners, who, instead of getting immunity, will head up the two teams. Translation: If the restaurant fails, the leader is in for some serious heat.

Radhika’s cod with corn, spinach, and chorizo and Leah’s Asian-inspired tempura poussin are Starr’s, well, stars, and each chef is designated captain of her team. Radhika picks Jamie, Jeff, and Carla for her crew, while Leah immediately grabs Hosea and Fabio and is stuck with Stefan as the last pick.

Old McDonald had a farm, and on this farm he had several Top Chef contestants. That's how it goes, right?

As the episode opens, we see that Hosea (wearing an “I [heart] Padma” T-shirt) has taken Fabio’s place as Stefan’s rival. Meanwhile, the other contestants refer to the Europeans as boyfriends.

In the kitchen, the chefs find season-three winner Hung Huynh, who looks rather petite next to Padma and her flowing hair. From under a white cloth, Padma unveils a slew of canned foods, such as Spam, peas, and beans. For this Quickfire Challenge, the contestants have to pull something together from, as Jeff describes it, this “pile of garbage.” In honor of Huynh, “the fastest chef in Top Chef history,” they have 15 minutes to work.

Stefan comes out on top with his Spam grilled cheese and baked-bean-and-ham soup. “Dammit,” utters Hosea under his breath. If only he hadn’t given Stefan that extra can of Spam.

For the elimination challenge, the nine chefs are separated into three groups: lamb, chicken, and pig. They’ll create a family-style lunch for 16 based around their protein. Ariane is worried about her lovebird partners, Hosea and Leah, while Carla knows she’ll have to mediate between Cocky and Feisty, also known as Stefan and Jamie.

The next day, as he heads out of the city to get food, Fabio notes, “All of a sudden, there are booshes. This is not the Whole Food Market.” They arrive at Blue Hill at Stone Barns in Pocantico Hills, where farm-to-table guru and chef Dan Barber awaits with his three head farmers. The chefs will do their “grocery shopping” on the farm, and their lunches will be served to the farmers’ families.

Please baby Jesus, make this season more interesting pronto!

It’s been three weeks since we’ve seen the bright knives in the big city, and there was just no easing into it: The episode opens with Stefan saying he can “run circles around Hosea.” The Grinch lives on past Christmas.

Is Padma a little self-conscious about her post-holiday-gorging physique? What else could explain the odd choice of Diet Dr. Pepper as the episode’s sponsor? But the contestants don’t even have to use the fake-sugar soda in the quickfire challenge. The only stipulation is that they can’t use any sugar. Maybe I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! will sponsor the next episode and the chefs won’t be able to use fat.

Michelin-star-studded pastry chef Jean-Christophe Novelli is there to judge the chefs’ dessert-making skills. The Frenchman praises Stefan but notes that Fabio’s dessert is partially undercooked, which causes some sideways glances and tension between the infamous duo. Rhadika’s challah bread pudding ends up on top.