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A tasty roundup of what we’re reading this week.
The golden arches get the Sorkin treatment thanks to Amy Schumer. Photograph by LesPalenik/Shutterstock.

The Week in Fast Foods 

Reason #4,792 Amy Schumer is the best—her brilliant mash-up of The Newsroom and McDonald’s. [Comedy Central] —Ann Limpert 

First it was a Game of Thrones special, now they’re peddling chicken corsages for prom. KFC wins all the advertising awards. [ABC News] —Chris Campbell

Think the KFC Double Down and Domino’s fried chicken pizza is bad? Salon reminds us that things could be worse, in the form of bacon milkshakes and hot-dog-stuffed pizza crusts. [Salon] —AL

Inside the Scene 

It took ten weeks for the Game of Thrones crew to prepare all the prop food used in last Sunday’s “Purple Wedding” episode. [Vulture] —Benjamin Freed

It only took a Freedom of Information Act request for people to learn what is being served to their children in school cafeterias. You can imagine how well that turned out. [NPR] —CC

Questionable Trends

This list of hipster foods is pretty on point if you’re feeling judgy or possessive of bacon right now. [Huffington Post] —Alison Kitchens

Could Kale become the new Jake or Emma? Or at least the new Olive? [Bon Appétit]
—AL

Ever wonder where six-year-old New Yorkers hang? Nightclubs for the way-under-21 set, designed for the “next generation of electronic music fans.” [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel

Your Hosts, Mary and Jane . . .

Colorado takes pot and puns to its next logical conclusion. Say hello to a “bud and breakfast inn.” [Wall Street Journal] —CC

Local reviews 

New York Times critic Pete Wells travels to Virginia to check on the hype over chef Peter Chang’s empire. Was he impressed? Read on. [New York Times] —AS

We Fled Egypt for This? 

“Can I have a piece of your matzoh?” No, and 26 other things Jews are tired of hearing on Passover. [BuzzFeed] —AS

Unusual Perspectives 

This chicken is blue, people. [NPR] —CC

An aspiring restaurateur under the impression that there are no upscale restaurants on H Street, Northeast, vows to class up the neighborhood with “sophisticated and sexy” restaurant called Mythology Modern Chop House/Lore Lounge. Okay, fine, whatever. We all know what a chop house is, but what the hell is a “lore lounge”? [Washington Business Journal] —BF

Posted at 12:28 PM/ET, 04/17/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
Let's face it: most meals taste better in sandwich form. Image via Shutterstock.

Genius

Our Great Sandwich Smackdown is over (tear), so here’s your week’s dose of bready deliciousness: “15 Meals That Are Better as a Sandwich.” [BuzzFeed] —Anna Spiegel

KFC has smartly tapped into Game of Thrones with its new advertisements. [Huffington Post] —Chris Campbell 

This Week in Millennial Food Trends

Chick-fil-A wants to get a piece of that millennial market by paying more attention to grilled chicken and slightly less attention to its trademark bigotry. [Time] —Ben Freed

It’s Not Delivery, It’s Homemade 

“I am here to say: You can make pizza at home.” Sam Sifton really wants you to break out the homemade dough. The good news: It’s pretty simple. [New York Times] —AS

When Life Hands You Lemons . . . 

As a soon-to-be father, I think filming young kids eating lemons is pretty funny. [YouTube] —CC

By the Numbers 

Members of Congress argue about prices of Big Macs and the contents of the McDonald’s Dollar Menu. Democracy is a many-splendored thing. [The Fix] —BF

This chart of the most popular fruit pies looks delicious, though 100-percent rhubarb (no need to sully it with strawberry) is all I need. [NPR] —CC

I’ve enjoyed this before, but now science itself approves of marinating beef with beer. [Pacific Standard] —CC

Comedic Eating 

What happens when Mario Batali cooks dinner for comedians Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen? Well, watch. [Eater National] —AS

Of Mice and Menus 

New York’s Dominique Ansel Bakery—home of the cronut—was briefly closed by the New York City Department of Health after a reported mouse infestation. Unfortunately for polite society, the rodents were cleared out, the bakery reopened, and Dominique Ansel is now comparing himself to Rocky Balboa. [Grub Street] —BF

Posted at 03:01 PM/ET, 04/09/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
March is one of the best times of the year for pizza promotions. Image via Shutterstock.

Chefs Go Cr-azy

I guess it was inevitable: the “cragel.” Next I want to see the “crocaron.” And after that the “croptart.” And please, please, please—someone give unto us the “crotzel.” [SF Weekly] —Todd Kliman

Exotic Eats

This guy will be a fool to some and a hero to many: He gave up food for Lent and is only drinking beer. [Sun News] —Chris Campbell

Good advice for those interested expand their culinary horizons: the 10 Commandments of Adventurous Eating. [Serious Eats] —Tanya Pai

Coffee-flavored profiteroles with pink icing? Sounds weird, but this video by French coffee company Carte Noire is oddly mesmerizing. [Ad Week] —Sophie Gilbert

This Week in Millennial Food Trends

Who killed the standard-issue sesame seed bun at fast-food restaurants? Who else? [The Daily Meal] —Benjamin Freed

Fighting Words!

South Carolinian Stephen Colbert bashes North Carolina’s barbecue, calling it “just shredded cardboard soaked in vinegar.” [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel

My home state of Kentucky is contributing to the war against invasive species by sending the killer fish back to their home country. No lasers are attached to their heads, sadly. [NPR] —CC

Wackaging 

A screed against the faux-intimacy and friendliness of food packaging. [Guardian] —TK

Eating and Media-ing

Move over, vegans, there’s a new food trend set to annoy the masses: egotarianism. This time the fault is with the chefs, not the diners, according to Alan Richman. [GQ] —Anna Spiegel

Huffington Post gives us 14 Signs You’re Addicted to the Food Network. One that isn’t included but should be is when the geometry of Guy Fieri’s facial hair ceases to perplex you. [Huffington Post] —SG

Bon Appétit’s brand-new dining guide to DC includes the late Fojol Bros. food truck. Oopsies. Otherwise, solid list BA. [Bon App] —SG

Screw Corkscrews 

Can you open a bottle of wine with a shoe? Yes, kinda. Can I open a bottle of wine with a steak knife? You betcha. [NPR] —SG

Litereating 

A review of a new cookbook looks at the Bloomsbury Group and its love of food. Virginia Woolf liked crème brûlée; Lytton Strachey loved “nursery food.” [Independent] —TK 

BHAgels 

Esquire rounds up 11 icky-sounding chemicals found in many common foods, to which I say: “I eat chemicals like that for BREAKFAST.” (No, really.) [Esquire] —TP

Graytinis 

The Coupe is conducting an unscientific poll—or possibly the most scientific poll ever devised—of the DC mayoral race by randomly affiliating each candidate with a cocktail. Ordering a French Bikini casts a vote for Vince Gray, while a Pomme d’Or aligns your gullet with long-shot candidate Reta Jo Lewis. For the record, the Coupe’s owner, Constantine Stavropoulos, hasn’t donated to any of the mayoral candidates, according to records with the District’s Office of Campaign Finance. [Roll Call] —BF

Eat Your Junk Food 

Farmers’ almanacs should be revised to describe March as “in like a lion, out like a pizza.” March is one of the best months for pizza-related promotional deals, according to the pizza business. [Pizza Marketplace] —BF

Is this peak burger porn? Here’s a blog that evaluates hamburgers according to their design. Yes, this is peak burger porn. [The Message Is Medium Rare] —BF

Posted at 09:37 AM/ET, 03/27/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
Homemade jam is apparently very in for 2014. Image via Shutterstock.

Building (140) Character

Celebrity chef Hugh Acheson (a.k.a. the Hughnibrow) produces a Twitter mini-festo: ten things to tell young chefs. “No you can’t do a ‘Pop Up’ at the restaurant on Friday.” [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel

Healthy Reads

Kids who crave sweets might end up being taller (and also rounder, and more hyperactive, but never mind that). [NPR] — Sophie Gilbert

Omnivores, you may not want to read this (but you really should). Nicholas Kristof on “The Unhealthy Meat Market.” [New York Times] —AS

Trending

This week in millennial food trends: The Olive Garden is struggling. But it can save itself by appealing to millennials through adding menu items with buzzwords and customizable options. Save the Olive Garden, you precious little snowflakes! [Tampa Bay Times] —Benjamin Freed

Your food trends for 2014 are: artisanal sodas, exotic ice creams, gluten-free stuff (really?), egg substitute (again, really??), and homemade jams. Thanks a lot, Scandal. [Huffington Post] —SG

Fast food is going foreign, which is good news for alliteration fans. [NY Daily News] —SG

Hail to the V

This year’s James Beard Awards: now with more women. [Eater] —SG

Fast Non-Foods

Getting a big television off a wall mount can be strenuous, and sometimes you need a snack after doing it. That’s why police in Columbus, Ohio, are looking for two individuals who broke into a Burger King and made off with a 42-inch flat-screen television and a bag of frozen burgers. [WBNS] —BF

Taco Bell is selling socks because, um, sigh, I give up. [Jezebel] —BF

This Week in Pizza

This Jumbo Slice could be your life: four hours at Adams Morgan’s Pizza Mart, recapped in all its greasy, salty, cheese-covered shame. [Eater DC] —BF

Pizza Underground’s show at Black Cat this Friday sold out a long time ago, but tickets are available for up to $79 on StubHub and $70 on Craigslist. I know it’s Macaulay Culkin, but seriously, it’s Pizza Underground. A Fugazi reunion wouldn’t go for this much on the secondary market. For $79 you could buy nearly 20 Jumbo Slices. [StubHub, Craigslist] —BF

Posted at 02:32 PM/ET, 03/19/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of what we’re reading this week.
Learn about Champagne from the master, Bill Murray. Photographs via Shutterstock / Helga Esteb.

Eat Your (Mystery) Vegetables

Bananas dressed up as cucumbers, eggs that look like eggplants—and no Michel Richard in sight! [Time] —Ann Limpert

Rest in Carbs

High-protein, low-carbohydrate diets are an excellent way to look great and die young, according to science. [Wall Street Journal] —Benjamin Freed

Drinking the Haterade

“Ten Things I Hate” with Dallas chef John Tesar. [Food Republic] —Anna Spiegel 

Food writer Josh Ozersky compiles a list of nine “good reasons” chefs hate food writers. Ironically the man whose wedding was filled with free food from chefs cites restaurants taking financial “hits” from food writers. [Vice] —AS

Kale Me Maybe

Costco has a plan to take back its market share from Amazon Prime, and that plan involves “giant bags of kale.” They know what the young folks like. [BuzzFeed] —Tanya Pai

What do you get when you combine hipsters’ two favorite vegetables? Lollipop kale, a cross between kale and Brussels sprouts. Yeah, I’d eat that. [Grub Street] —TP

Booze You Can’t Lose

Much like the Kardashians and normcore, flavored Scotch is apparently not going away anytime soon. [Spirits Business] —TP

If there’s bourbon in the headline, I’m reading it. In this edition: Bourbon hits the high seas. [NPR] —Chris Campbell

Bill Murray shares tips for drinking Champagne. Enough said. [Gawker] —AS

Looks Better Than It Tastes

For your viewing pleasure: Cookies that look pretty—but probably taste worse than Thin Mints. [NPR] —CC

A nonprofit recreates Hollywood movie scenes with food to raise awareness about hunger. [CNN] —CC

McHell

Want to travel down a dark path of evil to a place lacking humanity? Try this Reddit thread about what NOT to order at fast-food joints. [Reddit] —CC

This week in millennial food trends: Envious of Chipotle’s popularity with the under-30 crowd, McDonald’s and Wendy’s try to crack the millennial market with restaurant renovations and limited-edition sandwiches. Foolish corporations—everyone knows the most millennial fast food meal is fries and a Frosty at 1 AM in the parking lot of the Wendy’s at Dave Thomas Circle. [Motley Fool] —BF

On Sale, and Selling Out 

Hey, House of Cards fans, now you can own Freddy’s BBQ Joint. If only it came with actual ribs. [Washington Post] —AL

Come to SXSW for the hundreds of bands trying to get discovered; stay for the product rollouts by Blue Moon and Ball Park Franks. [Philadelphia Inquirer] —BF

Posted at 02:53 PM/ET, 03/12/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
Always dreamed of a machine that turned water into wine? Now it’s a reality. Image via Shutterstocka.

OMG

Respected food magazine gives up, launches short-form website with market-tested name and section heads like “OMG Yummy!” and “I’d Eat That.” TL;DR: Food & Wine creates website for millennials. [FWx—Benjamin Freed

There’s actually a machine that turns water into wine. [Huffington Post—Chris Campbell

Chipotle ponders discontinuing guacamole on its menus due to climate change. Could a “guacapocalypse” ensue? [Eater National/NPR—Anna Spiegel

Mooovin’ and Shakin’ 

You should probably watch this GIF of cows jumping for joy when they’re released into a field every day, for inspiration. Such joie de vivre! [NPR—Sophie Gilbert

Eat Your Age

Because we as a society refuse to grow up, Oscar Mayer gives us Lunchables for adults. [Food Beast—CC

This Maryland man has eaten nothing but cheese pizza for the past 25 years. Remarkably, he seems okay. [Huffington Post—SG

False Advertising

Olive Garden has a new logo, which makes it look slightly less like a chain restaurant and slightly more like a data processing company. Nice “healthy” subtext, though. [Eater National—SG

Sorry, Europe, but if it looks like Brie, smells like Brie, and tastes like Brie, I’m not sure what else to call it. [NPR] —CC

The ’90s Called . . . 

Trying to stave off the urge to snack? Play Tetris! [Grub Street—BF

MTV has a food-themed reality show in the works, and it’s kind of like when trainee chefs stop being polite and start being real. [Hollywood Reporter—SG

Trouble Brewing

Missing your favorite Russian beer at Domku? Blame Vladimir Putin. The Eastern European restaurant restaurant in Petworth took its Russian brews off the menu in support of Ukraine and in protest of Putin’s invasion of Crimea. [Washington Post—BF

Only in the Big Apple 

A former New York City cop has opened a police-themed bar, including a cop car, a precinct desk, and a jail cell. The ex-officer wants it to be the “Disneyland” of police, which I guess has been missing from Times Square? [DNA Info—BF

Pete Wells takes a look at the ramen scene in New York. Even if you’re not planning to slurp noodles in the Big Apple, there’s some handy advice for ramen-hunters in the there. [New York Times—AS

Posted at 03:08 PM/ET, 03/05/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A roundup of the tasty stuff we’re reading this week.
Don’t go there, for multiple reasons. Image via Shutterstock.

Sweet Nothings 

In 2003 I was both probably reading Cosmo and working in a restaurant right next to a Krispy Kreme—yet somehow I don’t remember the infamous intersection of the two. Slate takes a look at the history of the pastry-themed Sex Tip Number 30. [Slate] —Tanya Pai

Surprisingly, Domino’s took it in stride when a customer complained after having “relations” with one of its pizzas. [Huffington Post] —Chris Campbell 

Long Waits

The ten-seat “multisensory” restaurant in Shanghai called Ultraviolet, housed in an undisclosed location, is one of the toughest reservations in the world. And you thought it was hard to get a table at Rose’s Luxury. [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel

Sad Foods

The dude who posts photos of “Cheetos that look like stuff” on “Cheese Curls of Instagram” must have hands, like, covered with cheesy dust. Uh, the bowl is cashed. Time for a repack? [Huffington Post] —Benjamin Freed

The grocery lists of (almost) adult singles. I can identify with the “dying alone, fancy” version. [McSweeney’s] —AS

Loco Taco 

In Taco Bell news that does not involve the Waffle Taco, a Bartlesville, Oklahoma, Taco Bell employee named Levi stabbed his coworker during lunch and then attempted to take one of the responding police officers’ guns. When Levi was finally subdued, the arresting officer suffered a heart attack. [KOTV] —BF

Just the Facts

It’s that time of year again when Girl Scouts start badgering you to buy their addictive goods. Here’re some useful facts about those cookies. [Huffington Post] —CC

Pretty sure Jumbo Slice is what’s skewing the data in this chart of DC pizza prices. [NPR] —CC 

I Don’t Like You Anymore

Sbarro is closing 155 locations, most of them in shopping mall food courts. Where will teenagers break up now? [Associated Press] —BF

Can’t stand tomatoes or seafood? You might just love them later. A look at how personal tastes change over time. [New York Times] —AS 

This Week in Millennial Food Trends

MillerCoors introduces a beer with 6.9 percent alcohol by volume to compete with hard liquor for the millennial market. Or, to put it more directly, millennials like to get drunk quicker. [New York Times] —BF

“Got Milk?” is dead. Milk is, apparently, all about life now. [NPR] —CC

Posted at 02:01 PM/ET, 02/27/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
Is this Chicago deep dish really pizza? Supreme Court Justice Scalia doesn’t think so. Photograph via Shutterstock.

Tweet Smart

Andrew Zimmern—who has more than 100,000 followers on Instagram—offers some smart advice on DIY food photography in restaurants. [Bon Appétit] —Ann Limpert

Martha Stewart should a) take the advice, and b) return to tweeting (non-hideous) food pictures. This is why. [BuzzFeed] —Anna Spiegel

?!?!?!

Seven hells. Why am I just now discovering this food blog inspired by Game of Thrones? [Inn at the Crossroads] —Benjamin Freed

Controversial Pie

Is Chicago-style deep dish really pizza? The Supreme Court (fine, or just Justice Scalia) rules no. [The Salt] —Tanya Pai

The development of a battlefield-ready pizza that stays good for up to three years is perhaps the most important research project the US military has ever undertaken. [AP] —BF

Yet another reason I prefer Domino’s to Pizza Hut: pee-free sinks. [Gawker] —AS

This Week in Millennial Food Trends

Vice is launching a food channel aimed at millennials. We should anticipate provocative, grabby headlines like “Paula Deen Shares Her Thoughts on Black-and-White Cookies.” [Variety] —BF

More Pubs, Please

Are British pubs going the way of the dodo? Get your honest pints while you can. [New York Times] —AS

Mon Dieu!

A French restaurant critic slams Michelin. [Eater National] —AS

Posted at 03:28 PM/ET, 02/19/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the stuff we’re reading this week.
A Kickstarter campaign to buy a Chipotle burrito? Uh, why not? Photograph by Flickr user Aranami.

Artful Food 

A picture of a cake of Mars. [Explore] —Todd Kliman

Andrew Carmellini is one of my favorite chefs, and this illustrated “10 Commandments of Being an NYC Chef” is just another reason why. [Food Republic via Eater] —Anna Spiegel

In this week’s edition of art and food, this artist incorporates food items into his doodles. [Daily Mail] —Chris Campbell

Nacho Ordinary Cheese Stick 

Doritos is testing its mozzarella-stick-like Doritos Loaded bites at area 7-Eleven stores, which is really convenient for when you spend too long at Rumors. [Yahoo] —Tanya Pai

We conducted a taste test. This ain’t no Doritos Loco Taco. [Best Bites Blog] —AS

Eating and Traveling

Six writers reflect on eating in Paris. Damn them one and all for making me so ravenous. [Tin House] —TK

Snack Attack

I say this as a fan of both McVitie’s biscuits and small, furry animals: These commercials are seriously creepy. [Laughing Squid] —TP

A Chicago man launched a Kickstarter campaign to buy a Chipotle burrito. His goal was $8; he’s raised more than $200 so far. Whatever you think of Chipotle, this is perhaps the best use of Kickstarter ever. [Kickstarter] —Benjamin Freed

Learning From History

The Dust Bowl is back—this time in California. [New York Times] —TK 

Amanda Moniz explores the history of black-authored cookbooks for the American Food Roots blog, raising important questions in the effort to bring light to recipes from the past. When does authenticity matter? When is it more important to adapt? For interested parties, Moniz will be offering a class, Food and Freedom, on February 22 at the Hill Center. [American Food Roots] —TK

Beve-Rage

An ode to the original mocktail—the grenadine-red Shirley Temple. [NPR] —Ann Limpert

As a kid, I used to order a Shirley Temple every time my parents would let me. I was probably also whining about wanting an Old Fashioned. [Time] —TP

South Koreans tip back an average of almost 12 shots of liquor per week. Guess you gotta find happiness somewhere. [Time] —CC

Let Them Eat Meat (Or Beets)

And here you thought kissing babies was pandering: South African President Jacob Zuma is promising to slaughter cattle if his ANC party gets 90 percent of the vote in a key province in eastern South Africa. [City Press] —TK

Stock up on food for the coming snowstorm, fight the ice, and avoid the crazy people fighting over milk. The magic of beets. [Time] —CC

This Seems Like It Needs a Pie Chart

According to the USDA, on any given day, 13 percent of people in the US eat pizza. I can only assume that percentage went up since marijuana was legalized in Colorado and Washington. [US Food Policy] —TP

This article about Rockaway Beach’s “pizza nazi” contains about three times the profanity you’d expect from an article about pizza. [Grub Street] —TP

Big Bucks

OF COURSE the Dumb Starbucks Twitter account has 14,000 followers. [Twitter] —TP

Posted at 03:23 PM/ET, 02/12/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()
A tasty roundup of the best stuff we’re reading this week.
Are these frog-flavored, or maybe “blood of my enemies?” Only the Lay’s crowdsourcing flavor contest will tell. Image via Shutterstock.

Betcha Can’t Actually Eat Any of These 

The Lay’s potato chip flavor generator: the gift that keeps on giving. [Multiple sources (all equally amazing)] —Tanya Pai

Let Them Eat Cake, or Kale

Not shocking but still interesting: Extreme dieters are ruining dinner parties. [Observer] —Anna Spiegel

Apparently 2014 is the year we decided cake for breakfast is a diet plan. [Guardian]
—Chris Campbell


Olympic Eating (or Fasting)

Sochi: where the water, if it’s running at all, runs dark yellow. Happy Hunger Games Winter Olympics. [Chicago Tribune] —Benjamin Freed

Yes, media in Sochi arrived to unsanitary and, in some cases, unfinished hotels—but the real story here is that their “nutritious and delicious breakfast” is stranded at Newark International. [Grub Street] —TP 

McNews

The new way to guilt your kids: “Finish your ketchup, because there are children in Argentina who don’t have any.” [Esquire] —TP 

McVeggie Burgers sound like a noble idea, but I’m sure they’ll find a way to cram 80,000 milligrams of sodium into them. [Wall Street Journal] —CC

Want to supersize that Happy Meal . . . with a bag of heroin? [CNN] —CC

Yogurt? More Like Woe-Gurt 

It’s just not Chobani’s year—after being dumped by Whole Foods, the brand also lost its right in the UK to label itself “Greek.” [ABC News] —TP 

This Week in Millennial Food Trends

A survey finds that 96 percent of millennials, frugal shoppers that they are, are aware of supermarket brands, and 36 percent of them even buy in-house products frequently. [Supermarket News] —BF

If You Say So

Chocolate-flavored toothpaste sounds massively counterproductive—but the closing joke about Starburst-lacquered pizza would have my friend Kelly intrigued. [Time] —CC 

The Subway diet worked for that Jared guy, so obviously the sandwich chain can save our children. [US News] —CC

Indiana Jones made it out of the cave, and apparently so did that boulder. Check out this crazy image of it crushing a vineyard. [The Drinks Business] —CC

Posted at 04:18 PM/ET, 02/05/2014 | Permalink | Comments ()