A Seattle farmer says feeding his pigs pot plants makes them taste better. Image via Shutterstock.
Ripped From the Headlines
Is there no justice in the world? Leave World Nutella Day alone! [HuffPo] —Tanya Pai
The most I ever got when I was waitressing was a £50 note from an octogenarian who should have known better, but Indianapolis’s CeCe Bruce scored a staggering $446 tip on a $6 check. Why such an arbitrary amount? Because tipping math is hard. [Daily Mail] —Sophie Gilbert
Feeding your pig pot makes the meat “redder and more savory,” according to a Seattle farmer. But what do you feed them when they get the munchies? [The Salt] —TP
I guess an apartment that always smells like fresh doughnuts only sounds amazing on paper? I mean, if Glade made a “fresh fritter” plug-in scent, I’d probably buy the Costco pack. [WCP] —Marisa Kashino
Patrick Dempsey now owns a Seattle-based coffee company. Photograph via Shutterstock.
The Wired Wire
McDreamy now owns Seattle-based Starbucks rival Tully’s Coffee. Next up: A Grey’s spinoff involving the high-stakes world of espresso brewing? [Bon Appétit] —Tanya Pai
Foodie Follies
Three words hipsters love: Vermont, maple syrup, and terroir. Apparently flavors in the state’s most delicious export range from “fresh butter” to “leather.” [Slate] —Sophie Gilbert
“I thought wet almonds would be terrible, but I was completely wrong about that. I don’t know how to live!” A very funny article about following the Gwynnie diet. [New York] —Jessica Voelker
Soliciting Trouble
The manager of Bourbon Steak is being sued for allegedly forcing female customers out of the restaurant and calling them “prostitutes” and “ladies of the night.” [Washington City Paper] —SG
McStupid With Cheese
Alliteration-addicted Food Network star Guy Fieri is pretty much just asking for it at this point. Herewith, the 20 most absurd quotes from his new book, Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives: The Funky Finds in Flavortown, which include this gem: “I sucked at making my Yorkshire pudding before getting schooled by Anne. Now they’re puffy McMagic, not flat McTragic.” [Flavorwire]
—Ann Limpert
Ordering one of these on your Xbox means never having to pause a game—or burn any calories you may need later. Photograph courtesy of Shutterstock.
Virginia Is for Haters
Don’t go looking for any hometown pride from Momofuku Milk Bar’s Christina Tosi, who hails from Springfield: “It was like the armpit of Northern Virginia . . . the one town in Northern Virginia nobody ever wants to show their friends.” [Eater] —Ann Limpert
We get cravings for Chinese takeout all the time. But one kid in Michigan took things a little too far. Photograph via Shutterstock.
Eat Your Words
In response to the horrific events in Boston, Epicurious tweeted about honoring the city with “whole-grain cranberry scones.” Yes, this is for real. [Eater] —Marisa Kashino
Roots Bistro in Texas is “local, organic, green” . . . and thinks it’s funny to relate beer to violence. [Culture Map] —Chris Campbell
The best Negroni ever? We’ll take two. Image via Shutterstock.
Try This at Home
You haven’t been a part of the counterculture until you’ve made goulash from stolen pork butt in a house with no heat or running water. Vulture has the recipe for Betty’s Squatter’s Goulash from last Sunday’s Mad Men. [Vulture] —Sophie Gilbert
Sorry in advance for getting “Last Resort” stuck in your head, but this Papa Roach “recipe” is pretty hilarious. (Although I wouldn’t actually try it at home.) [BuzzFeed] —Tanya Pai
Rhubarb Eton Mess sounds even dirtier when you say it with an English accent. This recipe for a classic British dessert seems a good match for spring’s tartest arrival. [Taste] —Shane Harris
How to cut up a whole chicken. Great for making stock. And relieving aggression. [New York Times] —SH
The secret to the best Negroni ever? Can’t disagree with this Napaman fellow. [Napaman] —Jessica Voelker
They’ll Be There All Night; Don’t Forget to Tip Your Waitresses
Sure, American restaurants tweet away about specials and promos, but what about in-house breastfeeding jokes? The Awl picks out “The Only Turkish Restaurant in London You Need to Follow on Twitter.” [The Awl] —Anna Spiegel
Eat Like a Man chronicles Pizza Hut's horrifying, calorific history. Image via Shutterstock.
Foodie Foolishness
The restaurant industry has a great sense of humor, particularly the self-effacing kind. Eater National compiles a roundup of April Fool’s pranks across the nation. House-made water, “No Appetit,” and artisanal air this way. [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel
Well, here’s one way to get fired from a Waffle House. [Gawker] —Jessica Voelker
Joe Englert talks rats, freebies, and other fun aspects of owning a bar. Illustration by Josue Evilla.
Talking Shop
This is really fascinating, mostly because it shows how insanely cheap Trader Joe’s is. Chow compares TJ’s own items to other grocery store staples to try to figure out who’s supplying them. [Chow] —Sophie Gilbert
Oddly Mesmerizing Video of the Week
BuzzFeed investigates what that ambiguous “2,000 calories” on dietary labels actually looks like in food. [BuzzFeed] —Anna Spiegel
Everyone’s least favorite vegan gets a pass during artichoke season. Photograph courtesy of Shutterstock.
Newsy Fare
Twenty gang members in LA have been accused of extorting money from food truck operators—not the ubiquitous taco/pizza/cupcake ones, but the hot dog and coffee food trucks at construction sites. [LA Times] —Sophie Gilbert
How much would you pay for Twinkies? [King 5] —Jessica Voelker
Photograph courtesy of Shutterstock.
Banning Together
A judge ruled that New York mayor Michael Bloomberg cannot ban large sodas. Headline writers responded on cue. The winner: Daily News with, “Suck It!” [Daily Intel] —Shane HarrisChicago representative Luis Arroyo is pushing a ban on lion meat in the city. Guess someone forgot to explain to him the concept of hakuna matata. [Grub Street] —Tanya Pai
As New York City quibbles over the soda ban, Bon App rounds up other food bans around the country. Who knew margarine was illegal in Wisconsin? [Bon Appétit] —TP
Ripped From the Headlines
Dunkin’ Donuts employee in Florida is ridiculously awesome, thwarts an in-store burglary by throwing hot coffee at a robber. She also shouts, “Go run on Dunkin’.” Make this woman a brand ambassador, like, now. [HuffPo] —Sophie Gilbert
Looking for more bad news about bees? Grist has more bad news about bees. [Grist] —Jessica Voelker
Bumblebee Tuna recalls several batches of canned fish because of “loose seals,” and I recall that it’s still two long months until Arrested Development season four comes out. [Grub Street] —Tanya Pai
The Chain Gang
Chelsea Welch, the waitress who was fired after posting a receipt on Reddit, shares her lovely experience working at Applebee’s. [The Guardian] —Todd Kliman
A year after her Olive Garden review went viral, Marilyn Hagerty revisits the land of unlimited salad and breadsticks. [Grand Forks Herald] —Ann Limpert
