Animal-shaped ice sculptures? A big, fat "cheesy."

The other day someone asked me what I thought about ice sculptures, ice bars, and other dangerously meltable wedding decorations. Two things popped into mind:

• A massive Jaegermeister luge in the Rob Burgundy style;
• Hideously ugly mating swans or other animals engaged in disreputable behavior, melting and dripping into the shrimp cocktail.

So . . . not quite at the top of our list. However, a wedding I was at last weekend had an afterparty with pre-mixed shots sitting in ice blocks, which I thought was kind of cool. I did a little Googling, and my opposition to ice decorations has softened. They can work, if they are done in the right circumstances and fit with the overall theme. Modern/edgy wedding with caviar or martini station that has an ice bar—cool. Traditional wedding with heart-shaped, pink-lit ice centerpiece—NOT cool.

My fiancée’s brother got married on Sunday. It was a great wedding, a great party, and a truly magnificent celebration of two people who make each other very happy. It also served a very valuable lesson for us . . . ELOPE! NOW!

What’s it like planning a wedding with the Reluctant Groomzilla? Well, it’s definitely not boring. In fact, it adds something special to the experience. How should I describe it? What’s the word I’m searching for? Oh, yeah—drama. There’s definitely nothing “reluctant” about this groomzilla!

Josh is right: I didn’t grow up with outlandish dreams and plans for my wedding. I never imagined what my dress would look like or what flowers would fill my bouquet or which music I would dance to with my new husband. I also never, ever imagined I would be engaged to a man who likes to be involved in every single, minute detail of the wedding. Trust me. Even parts he says he doesn’t care about . . . if I got something he didn’t like, I would so hear about it!

Do you know that scene in Garden State where Natalie Portman tells Zach Braff that if he stands in one spot and makes weird noises while moving around he’ll be doing something completely original? (If you don’t, go rent the movie—or watch it again—because it’s absolutely hilarious.)

The point is that there’s actually a whole philosophical debate about whether or not there are any truly original thoughts left. I’ll leave the philosophizing to philosophers, but I think that when it comes to weddings it’s pretty safe to say that if you can imagine it, someone else can, too—and already has.

Josh promises he’ll be back with a new entry next week. If you can’t wait that long, talk to his boss. Or catch up with any posts you haven’t read. We've also got a great article about other Washington groomzillas. Until next Wednesday . . .

It’s no secret that we at Washingtonian.com think our blogging groomzilla is funnier than . . . well, funnier than someone really, really funny. But Josh had to take the week off from posting (he has to do work for his actual job, or so he claims), which means our Wednesday morning giggle fix is not happening. To console ourselves, we rounded up some of Josh’s best lines from past posts. Enjoy!

On wedding magazines:
Do you want to know what’s really causing global warming? Head down to your local megabookstore and, while cuddling yourself in the warm goodness that is a grande skinny latte with a sugar-free hazelnut shot (I recently learned Star-bonics), head to the magazine section. I swear that half the Amazon rainforest has been turned into paper for these magazines.

Did you miss Friday’s chat with the Reluctant Groomzilla? Or did you like it so much you want to read it again? Either way, we’ve got you covered. Check out the chat transcript to read Josh’s thoughts on bachelor parties, why some guys like wedding planning, and if he’s allowed to see his fiancée’s dress before the big day (apparently, the nuclear launch codes are less tightly guarded).