Dear Jenna,

We’ve been anxiously checking our mail since August 16, but it looks like we definitely, absolutely, undoubtedly will not be getting an invite to your wedding to Henry Hager this Saturday at your parents’ ranch in Crawford, Texas. We know that Lauren’s boyfriend isn’t even invited, so we’re not hurt (okay, we’re a little bit hurt). Rather than cry over spilled Champagne, we’ve devoted our day to soaking up every last scrap of news and speculation about the big event. But Jenna? If we had come, we would have added our names to the biggest present there.

With love,
Bridal Party

What’s the strangest request wedding planner Aimee Dominick has ever gotten? “Once, I had a groom who insisted I have Mike and Ikes on my person at all times in case he needed them,” she wrote in yesterday’s chat. Throughout the day, he’d come up to me and say, “Can I have some Mike and Ikes?” Too funny. To read about that—and more useful things, such as what qualities to look for when picking a wedding photographer and how to throw a glam reception without breaking the bank—check out the chat transcript here.

Okay, the Running of the Brides sale at Filene’s Basement (8027 Leesburg Pike, Vienna; 703-893-1040)—designer dresses, super cheap, lots of women—is pretty much the best way I’ve ever spent a Friday morning. Maybe it’s because I’m not a bride dealing with the stress of actually finding a dress, but come on. You’ve got people camping out overnight! A line that took two-and-a-half minutes of video footage to pan! Groups in matching shirts and crazy hats! Wedding vendors handing out donut holes! A you-really-might-get-trampled stampede at the door! (Seriously, I didn’t even have to move my legs; I was just propelled along.) I could go on forever—but the pictures and video may tell the story better.

Aubrey Davis and her husband, Chris, at their tropical wedding in Miami. Image courtesy of Upscale Photo.

A destination wedding is like that really cute boy in high school: easy to crush on, harder to get. Choosing a venue and vendors from hundreds of miles away can be complicated—plus you have to consider travel expenses for your guests, local weather, and more. Make things simpler by following these tips from a travel-loving wedding planner and a bride who has done the destination thing.

Decide if you really are destination-wedding kind of people.
“You have to be flexible to plan a destination wedding,” says André Wells, a Washington event planner who has done weddings in Jamaica, the Virgin Islands, the Florida Keys, and more. “If you’re doing a wedding in, say, the Caribbean, you have to realize it doesn’t move like the United States. They don’t have access to some of the same things we do, like the same flowers. You might have to forgo your idea of having hydrangeas everywhere. If you really want your 80-year-old grandma at your wedding, you may have to forget a wedding in Italy in favor of someplace that’s easier to get to.”

Be honest: You never got around to shortening last summer’s bridesmaid dress to wear again. (As author Sloane Crosley just put it, “I think if you interviewed every tailor nationwide, you’d find out that this has never happened.”) But that’s okay, because now you can skip the tailoring fees and help local girls have an awesome prom.

There are authors who take everything they know about weddings (how to find the perfect dress, how to be the perfect bridesmaid) and line it up in a neat little book of charts and lists. Then there’s New York Times, Village Voice, and Playboy writer Sloane Crosley. Her first book, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, hits shelves today—and the chapter about serving as maid of honor for a crazy former friend reads nothing like most wedding stories. It’s both wry and a riot, and Crosley’s cynicism about marriage may alarm you. But you will learn how brides shouldn’t act. Crosley talks to Washingtonian.com about her bridesmaid dress, her “friend” Francine’s worst bridezilla moments, and more.

Your book is a collection of essays. In the wedding essay, Francine was a great lesson on how brides should never act. What were her three worst offenses?

I think you have to choose your bridesmaids wisely. (It’s like the end of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade when the bad guy drinks from the wrong cup and his face melts off—he chose “unwisely.”) Basically, you can’t pick just people that fit your vision of your wedding. You have to choose people for whom your wedding fits into their lives as well. Current friends and family only. After that, I would say that you should (a) be up-front from the start about what you need from your bridesmaids and (b) assign them specific tasks. Because no, it will not occur to most women to purchase phallic twisty straws.

Watch out, Filene’s: There’s a new sale in town. Goodwill of Greater Washington just announced the first Once-a-Year Goodwill Bridal Sale—to be held five days before the annual Filene’s hullabaloo.

On Sunday, March 30, brides in need of a dress and a deal—we’re talking nothing more than $400 and many less than $125—can head to Westfield Wheaton mall (11160 Veirs Mill Rd., Wheaton; 301-942-3200) at noon to hit racks of donated dresses from size 4 to 24 (all getting a gratis cleansing right now by Zips Dry Cleaners). The sale lasts until 4 PM or until the last dress is gone.