There’s no question Valentine’s Day in Washington this year faced a fair share of challenges, almost all having to do with the weather. Did you wait until the last minute to buy a gift, only to find the stores closed? Are you so snowed in you can’t even get to the restaurant or a market? Maybe that’s why Craigslist doesn’t have its usual trove of “missed connections,” “strictly platonic,” and “casual encounters.”
But there were enough for us to cull the best for a sampling. Our favorite happened to be in “men seeking men” category. It said, simply, “It’s Valentine’s Day. The woman I was seeing broke up with me about three weeks ago. But a guy has needs—and everybody knows that it’s easier to find a guy to screw in this town than a woman to date.”
It’s a statement worth a laugh—and also adds dimension to a Wall Street Journal report from earlier in the week. WSJ asked Facebook to run a survey of the “best place to in America to live if you are single and looking for love.” Colorado Springs, Colorado, came in first. Washington, DC, was next to last. Why? According to WSJ, “Overall, Facebook found that big, cosmopolitan cities with highly educated populations—places like New York City, Washington, D.C., and Miami—tend to have the highest percentages of single people. Those cities also tended to have the lowest couples rates.”
But that doesn’t stop people from trying. Read on for our annual Valentine’s Day Craigslist roundup, and check out our Bad Date Stories for some cautionary tales. [Ed. note: All posts appear as written, including original spelling and punctuation.]
Have breakfast with me on Valentine’s Day. Breakfast will be on me. I am not, let me repeat, I am not looking for romance or sex in any form or fashion—just pleasant company. You must have the ability to have an intelligent, witty conversation with me. I will know if you will be able to fit the bill after speaking with you on the phone. I am not describing how I look, other than that I have a head, two arms, and two legs and am able to ambulate on my own. I don’t care about how you look other than that you have a head, two arms, and two legs, and are able to ambulate on your own. If you are interested, send me an email—and perhaps we can go from there. I needed to add this: I am 59 years old, so I will only be considering someone between the ages of 50-64 who answers my posting.
I know I’m not the only one. I just thought it would be nice to spend that evening with someone. We don’t need to share sob stories or be anti-Valentine’s day. We can just share a quiet, semi romantic evening together. Restaurants are too cliche and too crowded. I can cook us dinner. Maybe we can watch a movie after. I’m not expecting a sexual encounter, just a nice, friendly evening full of good conversation and some laughs. I figured this gives us enough time before Friday to talk and maybe meet up someplace first.
My name is Ellie and I am a basset hound who saw another beautiful basset in Mt. Vernon who my owner learned was named George. Looking for a valentine.
Hi craigslist — I’m single and all of my friends are, obviously, doing something on Valentine’s Day. I assume someone out here is in the same boat and would want to go out. I’m a lawyer, make good money and am in decent shape, so I assume that will appeal to someone out here too. Posting in strictly platonic since I have no expectations that this will lead to anything romantic or sexual, nor will I be upset if it doesn’t.
You drive me wild in the best way! When you hugged me today, my heart just about exploded. When you blush bright red and smile at me at the same time, my knees quiver. When we work together at your desk with our legs touching, I…well, nevermind, it might be too much for you to know. When you held my hand so tenderly in both of your big manly hands, I resisted the urge to plant one on those sexy lips. I have never felt hair as soft as yours in my life. Your glittering green eyes staring into mine will be in my memory forever. I couldn’t help noticing your gigantic pupils…did you know that means you’re attracted to me? :) I am a little embarrassed to admit I check out the sizeable bulge in your pants whenever I can do so without you noticing. I want you so bad. Not just because you are HOTT, but also because you’re such a lovable silly darling. I know you aren’t perfect…working with someone shows you most of their faults…but I’m nuts about you nonetheless. I want to lay my head against your bare chest and stroke that gorgeous bunny-fur-soft hair. I daydream about locking ourselves into the family bathroom after work and having my way with you. Have a great Valentine’s Day hon!
I really only wanted to post an image, but Craigslist seems to think it necessary that I also say something about it. I think that would really just belittle the message, so I’m not going to. Here it is.
I guess I could add this: I would rather be with you than him this Valentine’s Day. Here’s a secret… he doesn’t even know, but I think he suspects, that he’ll be out of my life soon. I”m looking forward to that day.
So like me, you find yourself browsing around for something new, intriguing, and likely have no expectations. Whatever happens in life, happens. I’m always up for new things. With all this snow causing cabin fever in us all, it would probably be beneficial for us to go out and meet someone new this Valentine’s Day. So those are my thoughts. If you agree...tell me more about yourself?
More about me:
- Asian American
- Fit, locally educated (U of MD)
- clearly spontaneous
*As a guy, I don’t mind coming up with the idea for the date/outing or whatever you want to call it. Just come up with the time, so I can plan accordingly.
Wouldn’t that be an engaging first line of a short story? But even better, the start to our own personal story even if only a few, if any, were privy to it.
Seeking someone like myself: attractive middle aged person in a dead marriage who can meet in afternoons and some evenings in the Dulles Corridor. Someone with whom I can share a variety of my passions, especially the sexual ones as that is what is lacking in my life the most.
Scored two tickets to see “Violet” at Ford’s Theater on February 14 at 7:30 PM....but have no one to see it with! Hate to see it go to waste!
Thinking about dinner right around the corner at Asia Nine at 6:30 PM, grab some food and chit chat, and then check out the show!
I’m a 39 year old professional male who works downtown. East Indian (South Asian), 5’10”, 175 lbs, athletic and toned (Crossfitter), salt and pepper hair (black) and brown eyes.
Prefer likewise professional/career established female (White, South Asian, Asian, Latino/Hispanic) in similar age range, fit (height and weight proportionate), and, most importantly, capable of good conversation. Nothing kills the atmosphere than dead silence over a meal!
No strings attached over the tickets. We can discuss going Dutch over dinner when the check comes!
Any brave S.O.B’s wanna meet up and have an anti-valentine day party. We’ll wear black and red and listen to led zeppelin at some shitty Dive Bar. Someplace happy couples are sure to not appear.
I wonder if there might be one attractive lady who will be stuck in DC for the night and would like to get out this cold and snowy Valentine’s Day. I am a very cute, upscale gentleman. If you are in a relationship I am not going to judge. Dinner and conversation sound fun? Please send a pic, fully clothed would be appreciated.
I know some of you love to send me a shakespeare sonnet and seeing as it is Valentine’s day, why don’t we class up the place a little? Send me a shakespeare or Petrarch sonnet or something equally enjoyable