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The woman who wrote last week about her husband’s suspicious golf trip has some concerns with the friend who told her about it. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

Last week you answered my question about photos of my husband's golf trip that show him with another lady often by his side. My friend alerted me that they had been posted on Facebook. Now my question is about the friend who clued me into the pictures and keeps asking if I have checked them out. She calls me each day to ask if I have discussed the boys' getaway week with my husband.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with the friend who did clue me into the pictures (which I'm grateful for), but is now showing too much interest?

Worried Webmistress

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Posted at 11:30 AM/ET, 03/26/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team tackles the trust issues that can arise from posting private pictures online. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

My husband took a golfing trip with his buddies last week. It's an annual trip they have been taking for a few years, balanced by a trip I take with my girlfriends for a week or so. All good, so far.

My husband doesn't do much social media--no Facebook, no Twitter. I am not a creature of the Web, yet I do have a Facebook page. The night before my husband returned, one of my friends e-mailed me and said I should check out her husband's Facebook page. She said there were some "interesting" pictures from the golf trip. Sure enough, his Facebook had dozens of pictures from the trip. Many were of the guys laughing in golf carts and shrugging in sand traps. But there were more than a few of the boys carousing in bars. What was "interesting" to my friend--and to me, unfortunately--is that my husband seemed to have one woman by his side in every picture. She was cute and perky, a bit of a ginger--in other words, just his type. She looked just like his ex-wife. In all the pictures, the bars were different, the crowd changed, but this woman was always by my husband's side.

What do I do? I'm scared of talking to him about it but too anxious to keep it to myself. We are at a wonderful point in our marriage, or so I thought. We have been together for five years and have started to talk about having a baby.

Please help.

Worried Webmistress

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Posted at 11:00 AM/ET, 03/22/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team gets biblical on a reader dealing with the daily annoyance of the elevator shuffle. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

People are idiots. They are. Please settle this “do you have a brain in your head?” etiquette question.

When you are on an elevator and the door opens, what should happen next? I face this issue every day, and it is a problem almost each time I’m on an elevator. Do the people on the elevator get off first? Do the people waiting to get on the elevator enter first? Why is this so difficult for people to understand?

Elevator Hater

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Posted at 10:32 AM/ET, 03/15/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife advice team tackles an issue that’s becoming all too common: Internet bullying. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

My daughter attends a small private school in the Washington suburbs. It purports to be a community where the feelings and health of each student are nurtured. My daughter, who is in fifth grade, started coming home from school sad a few weeks ago. She would go up to her room, close the door, get on her computer, and stay there until dinner. Then she would return after dinner. When I asked why she stopped joining the family to chat or watch TV, she said she was doing homework.

Last week, after my daughter went to school, I checked her computer. Turns out she was g-chatting all afternoon and night. The conversations revealed a number of nasty exchanges among students. Many of the mean comments were directed at my daughter. Now I know why she was sad—dare I say depressed.

Should I have checked her computer? Can I do anything to help her? Is this bullying, and is the school responsible?

Worried in Wheaton

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Posted at 10:32 AM/ET, 03/12/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team advises a woman who can�t stop comparing herself to her boyfriend�s high-profile former flame. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

I'm jealous, and I'm having difficulty getting over it. I know I need to stop comparing myself to my boyfriend's ex, but it is very, very difficult. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year, and we're close and becoming closer. We talk easily, we rarely fight--and when we do it's a fair fight--and we want to spend most of our free time together. In fact, he goes out of his way to spend more time with me. He will rearrange his schedule to make it fit better with mine.

The problem is his ex. She is a high-profile, successful fundraiser and party-goer in Washington. Her picture shows up everywhere I look. She's there in Capitol File and even in the Washington Post, one picture more beautiful than the next. I see the pictures and I seethe. I barely know this woman, she has never been mean to me, and my boyfriend just laughs when I point out yet another great photograph of his ex. They were together for many years, and I'm sure people expected them to get married. Now he is with me, and I have a fairly empty social calendar, no family pedigree, and very few Washington "insider" connections. My life is more local, and my social circle is much smaller. I want to stop having these twinges each time I see Ms. Wonderful looking gorgeous in another picture. I dread opening the paper tonight.


Plain Jane

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Posted at 10:50 AM/ET, 03/08/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our advice team counsels a woman wondering whether she should move her kids back home in the wake of her failed relationship. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

I put all my eggs in one basket, as my grandmother would say. My husband of ten years died several years ago. I was a single mom for five years; my kids are late elementary age to starting high school age. I met someone wonderful who was a few years (seven) younger than me, who has two preschoolers. I moved my family from Northern Virginia to Baltimore to be with him more than a year ago. It seemed to make the most sense at the time, because he could not move to be closer to me because of his custody arrangement. I can live anywhere because I work from home, and I am more financially independent than he is. He needed to stay near his secure work position.

Fast-forward a year, and we are over. There was no trauma, but I realized he was not someone I could depend on, and I did not want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. I have worked hard to find great schools for each of my children, and they seem happy in school. I, however, would like to move back home to my old friends and support system. I go back and forth between guilt for having uprooted my kids to loneliness because I am in a city that is not mine and does not feel like home. I think my kids would be okay with another move, but I can’t get past the guilt.

What could I tell them to make it all better?

Homesick Mother

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Posted at 11:06 AM/ET, 03/05/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team advise a new bride who feels stuck in the middle of her spouse’s ugly custody battle. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

I'm newly married, and I love my husband very much. But I'm not happy. There is no way around it. I wake up each day wondering what will go wrong, because something usually does. You see, my husband is the father of a young daughter and son. He is still in the midst of a custody court case even though he has been divorced for a few years. His ex-wife calls nearly every day with a new complaint. The custody, the child support, and the schooling are all still in play. I have no doubts about marrying the man I love, but I was not prepared for all the tension this court case brings to my life. I voice an opinion, but then I feel like I shouldn't since they aren't my children.

This is not a guilt issue. I had nothing to do with his marriage ending, and his ex remarried a while ago. The kids don't like their mom's new husband, and they don't have a good time while they are with their mom. I need to turn my unhappiness around, or I fear that the kids won't enjoy their time in our home, either. I know it sounds selfish, but this is supposed to be a really happy time and it isn't.

Can this feeling be turned around?

Married and Miserable

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Posted at 11:05 AM/ET, 03/01/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team advises a man wondering if a friend’s exes are off-limits as friend material. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise

I’m a guy in my mid-thirties, and one of my best friends is a beautiful woman who is the same age. We have never dated; there really is no sexual tension, and I have a steady girlfriend that I’m crazy about. My friend dates all the time, quickly going through men and often breaking them down and leaving them in a puddle. I wish she would sometimes talk to me about these men, but she prefers to have those personal discussions with her girlfriends.

Here’s the problem: I’ve really liked some of these guys she has dated. We get along great, can talk sports, share confidences, laugh, and generally have a great time.

What can I do to maintain a friendship with the guys after they have been dropped by my friend? Why should they be off-limits just because we met through her?

Frustrated Friend

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Posted at 10:23 AM/ET, 02/27/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team advises a woman wondering how acquiescing to her partner’s request—or not—will affect her relationship. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

I’ve been with my SO for a couple years, and I want him to be the one. But lately he’s been sort of pressuring me into having sex in a historic place in Washington where one of us works. We could probably do this after hours and not get caught, though that poses a real risk—but I’m not sure if that risk is why I keep putting my guy off. I don’t think I’m a prude or uptight, and one thing I like about him is his unorthodox side (he’s more adventurous and has a higher erotic charge, but that just might be a guy thing).

As a point of persuasion, he brought up a story about a congressman and his wife who had sex at the Capitol Building, so I Googled it and found out it was about 30 years ago, and now the wife says it never happened. He also brought up some news story about Newt Gingrich having an affair in his car, but that was also adultery, and I flat-out refuse any link to something like that.

I don’t think this public icon sex adventure is a “get it or go” issue for him, but what troubles me most about it is how our future relationship will proceed, whatever I do.

What do you think, and what should I do?

Covered Up in the Capitol

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Posted at 11:16 AM/ET, 02/23/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()
Our husband-and-wife team discuss what to do when one person’s need to grab the spotlight begins to hurt others. By Harry Jaffe, Louise Jaffe

Dear Harry and Louise:

My friend—let’s call her Nina—loves to be the center of attention. She is a great person: lively, funny, accomplished. She is often invited to birthday parties, baby showers, anniversary celebrations. People want her around. So why, WHY does she insist on making the gathering all about her? She will purposely show up late so that the action stops and she can regale us with how busy her day is and how it took so much effort to actually get to the event. She will demand that her gift be opened last (as she did at a recent baby shower), because she believes her gift is superior to the other gifts. Her latest gambit revolves around our mutual friend’s big 40th birthday party. Nina is pretending she has to be out of town and will unfortunately miss the event. Everyone is expressing how sad they are that she won’t be attending. But halfway through the party, voilà—Nina will walk through the door, and joy will overcome the room. What?!

I feel like a complete tool for sitting there while she lies about her plans and hears our buddies’ regrets, while giving me a wink and a nudge.

Should I cover for her? Should I take the birthday girl aside and clue her in to Nina’s plans? Should I just leave it alone?

Distressed in Dallas

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Posted at 10:17 AM/ET, 02/21/2012 | Permalink | Comments ()