Off the designers go to traipse through the trendy Meatpacking District. Blayne surmises that Mary-Kate Olsen lives around there—though we checked with our friend who also lives in the area, and he informed us that she actually lives in SoHo, while Ashley’s up on 13th Street, just FYI—and then launches into the best Mary-Kate-related monologue possible: “I want every challenge to be about Mary-Kate. I want to marry Mary-Kate. Who doesn’t? . . . Besides Tim Gunn.”But no, it’s not Mary-Kate. Instead, Diane von Furstenberg—former wife of royalty, current wife of a billionaire, prez of the Council of Fashion Designers of America, and champion of wrap dresses for the past three decades—descends the down a seriously long staircase, looking pretty fabulous for 61 years old. Kenley nearly bursts into tears. Clearly, Diane is her Mary-Kate.
Blayne remarks, “I like to show versatility and not just another pair of the same pants. Like somebody else does.” Cut to Terri whipping up a pair of her signature high-waisted, wide-leg pants. (We still love when they do that!) Stella refuses to tell anyone what she’s making—but let me guess: a midriff-baring leather vest and inappropriately skimpy bottom? Everyone enjoys imitating Diane’s aristocratic Belgian accent. And Leanne wins our hearts even more by hilariously skulking around the studio as “secret agent Leanimal.”
Stella talks some trash about last episode’s guest judge Rachel Zoe, whom she calls “the stylist with the oversize muumuu dress and the waistband [who] didn’t know any better.” Tim Gunn immediately does a camera aside: “Sorry, Rachel Zoe! We mean that only in the nicest way!” To which Stella kind of awesomely responds, “No, I didn’t.”
After making his rounds, Tim Gunn leaves with these words of sage advice: “I believe that you have the ability to blow Diane von Furstenberg’s stilettos right off those staggering legs of hers!”
Jerrell is “taking both his hands and patting himself on the back” for his bulky turtleneck-meets-huge sparkly brooch creation. Not so fast, Jerrell. Because we have to say that outfit is really hideous. (Lucky for him, there are still some mediocre designers in the mix, so he’s safe for another round.) I thought Joe was a shoo-in to go home, but Stella’s hideously made garment really gives him a run for his money.
Kenley tells Diane that she “needed just a dress walking down the runway” in her collection. Leanne rolls her eyes, we roll our eyes, but Diane seems to appreciate her spunk. Suede’s camouflage maxi-dress gets ripped to pieces, but we agree with his defense: “I don’t think it’s that bad.” Stella and Joe both get called out for being “messy, messy, messy!”
In the end, our dear Leanimal wins for her gorgeously detailed blue gown and cropped trench. It comes down to Goatee Joe and Stella to get the boot. Couldn’t they just have gotten rid of them both? (We would have loved that!) Stella and her self-described “big ego” are finally, finally out of here. Looks like Joe and his goatee (and his gold chain and his mullet) will be around a little longer.
Next week: More smack talking! More eye rolling! More ugly runway crap! At least things are heating up . . .
Read last week’s recap here, and check back next Thursday for Betsy’s Project Runway recap!