The Reluctant Groomzilla: Popping the Question

Josh tells us how to pull off a surprise proposal if she helped you pick out the ring.

It’s funny—I think men worry more about how to ask someone we love to marry us than about things that are truly earth-shattering, like the decision to launch a nuclear strike or something. Of course, society doesn’t make it any easier. These days, event proposals are in. There are whole Web sites devoted to how to make your proposal unique. Hiding a ring in dessert not only means you have no imagination—it means you simply don’t love her enough!

However, among the many reasons I’m very lucky to have fallen in love with my fiancée is that she hates surprises. Let’s just say that making sure I got the right stone and the right band was very easy, because she helped me pick them out. (This worked out well because apparently I have no taste in jewelry whatsoever.) So if you’re looking for a way to really surprise her, this is not the place. May I suggest trying out your Google skills? But if you want to surprise her after she picks out the ring, I’ll tell you my story.

I took my cue from the Rolling Stones: “Time is on my side.” I made her wait, and then when she had waited long enough, I stalled even longer. This is a good tactic only if she doesn’t own a handgun and you keep all knives and blunt objects locked up.

Then, about three days after she mentioned that she had read how easy it was to buy a handgun in Virginia, we were having dinner with my aunt and uncle. I convinced two of our best friends to come over while we were out and put flowers and candles all over the place and play an old song we used to make out to back in college. (I’d tell you, but it’s way too embarrassing. For those of you coming to the wedding, you’ll probably hear it there!) Kind of perfect, right?

Well, we had dinner reservations at 8, so I told our friends to come over at 9 and be gone by 9:45. The only problem was that at 9 we had yet to get our entrée. And we were eating in Alexandria. And our place is in DC. I went to the restroom and tried to call my friends, but was so nervous that I called her instead! I think if I hadn’t proposed, she probably would have thought I was sneaking off to the bathroom to call another woman. Anyway, I managed to get in touch with them and ask them to hold everything.

We finally got back to the apartment, and it was pretty close to perfect. Our friends had done an amazing job, and as soon as I opened the door she knew what was happening and started crying. There were tea-light candles all over the place, the flowers were gorgeous, and nothing had caught on fire! Nothing could spoil the moment, even when she stepped on a plate with candles on it and got hot wax all over her foot. It was too late to call most of our family and friends, but we certainly racked up the minutes the next day. And my fiancée, of course, loved the ring.


Josh, Bridal Party’s guest-blogging groomzilla, writes every Wednesday about the groom’s perspective on wedding planning and everything that comes with it. To follow his story from the beginning, click here

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