While you guys are watching the World Series, I’ll be over here getting drunk with Ina. [Buzzfeed] —Ann Limpert
Think you can sneak homemade snake wine or trash bag of deer penises past customs? Bon App takes a look at the many edibles (and hopefully non-edibles) at Border Control. [Bon Appétit] —Anna Spiegel
“Yes, the fucking chickens are pasture raised. No, the fucking chickens aren’t grass-fed. Because they aren’t fucking ruminants, that’s why, not because I’m part of a secret rural conspiracy to disrupt the endocrine systems of America’s urban masses.” An organic farmer has many things to tell you… [McSweeney’s] —AS
Mark Bittman shares the only two rules for a good diet. Thankfully, neither wholly excludes carbs. [New York Times] —AS
NatGeo takes an in-depth look at the “Carnivore’s Dilemma,” a must for all the meat—and also meatless—eaters out there. [National Geographic] —AS
Martha Stewart Living published a guide to throwing your kids a “punk party.” Go for the party tips, stay for the comments. Actually, skip the party tips and just go directly to the comments, especially the one about Jell-O Biafra Jigglers. [Martha Stewart Living]
—Benjamin Freed
This Week in Millennial Food Trends: McDonalds just had its worst quarter since 2003, and it’s all because millennials like Chipotle and Panera instead of the Golden Arches, according to a “millennial retail expert.” What kind of Hell-forged job title is that? [CNBC] —BF
An obnoxious online activist claims he hasn’t had a sip of water in more than two years, instead preferring to get his hydration through raw fruits and vegetables. Apparently he also does a bit of porn on the side. This 33-minute rant isn’t NSFW, though it does sound incredibly daft. [First We Feast] —BF
In case you’ve retained a love of trick-or-treating past the age of 21, here’s a guide to pairing wine with Halloween candy. [Boston Magazine] —Tanya Pai
I sympathize entirely with this Chinese woman who spent a week in a KFC mourning a breakup, and recommend the mac and cheese. We’ve all been there. [Yahoo News]
—Michael Gaynor
