Thursday, October 2
FOOD: Forks are for losers, am I right? That’s the general thought behind F*ck Forks, a dining event in which top chefs from around the city serve up foods you have to eat either with your hands or with a spoon. (I’m not sure what the policy on sporks is.) Anyway, you’ll have chefs and mixologists from Toki Underground, Cava Mezze, Roofer’s Union, Jack Rose, Hank’s Oyster Bar, and more making the food and drinks. There’ll also be live graffiti, burlesque, goodie bags, and lots of music. Tickets ($80) are available online. 6 PM.
MARKETS: The Monroe Street Market in Brookland opens tonight. There’ll be performances by the Lloyd Dobler Effect and Catholic University performers and food and drinks from &pizza, Brookland Pint, Busboys and Poets, and Potbelly. Free. 5 PM.
COMEDY: The big thing going on this weekend is Brightest Young Things’ Bentzen Ball comedy festival, during which DC will become perhaps the funniest it has ever been. Check out our guide to all the weekend’s events to find out what not to miss, and get a special discount code for $5 off the closing-night show.
Friday, October 3
PUMPKINS: Black Squirrel hosts the Smashing Pumpkin Beer Fest, where you can score pumpkin beer from 15 of the bar’s 57 tap lines. Also on the menu? Roasted pumpkin soup, pumpkin sloppy joes, pumpkin veggie burgers, pumpkin mac and cheese, pumpkin pie, pumpkin ice cream floats, PUMPKIN EVERYTHING. Free. 5 PM.
BURLESQUE: Bier Baron is here to tell you Burlesque Is Coming. As if Game of Thrones didn’t bare enough skin on its own, here’s the official (probably not official) burlesque take on the show and the books, featuring dragon mothers and royalty and warriors and all that stuff you guys love so much. Tickets ($20) are available online. 7 and 10 PM
ART + BEER: Alexandria’s Torpedo Factory hosts Art on Tap, in which seven paintings by Art League instructors are paired with seven local craft brews, and local restaurants create complimentary appetizers inspired by the pairings. Local bands Shark Week and Greenland provide the tunes. Tickets ($45) are available online. 7 PM.
Saturday, October 4
DRINK: Capitol City Brewing Company is hosting its 15th annual Oktoberfest at the Village in Shirlington—you can try three Oktoberfest beers from the brewery (and lots more from 65 other breweries), listen to live folk music, and eat German and/or non-German food to your heart’s content. Admission gets you ten drink tastes, with additional tickets costing a buck each. $30. Noon to 7 PM.
DRINK: Time to bring your college drinking game skills out of hibernation—I know you’ve still got them—and compete in the Blondes vs. Brunettes coed flip cup tournament. Your entry fee pays for beer while you’re playing, and after you’re out, there’ll be beer and burger specials at Town Tavern. Proceeds go to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association. $20. 2 PM.
ART: The (e)merge Art Festival is going on at the Capitol Skyline Hotel all weekend. Dozens of artists take over the hotel (and the hotel rooms on certain floors) to show off their works, meaning you can snap up relatively inexpensive art from up-and-comers while wandering the hotel and the pool area as you please. Tickets ($15) are available online. Noon to 7 (also Friday and Sunday).
Sunday, October 5
FILM: The DC Palestinian Film & Arts Festival happens this weekend, and things wrap up Sunday with three film screenings and a closing festival featuring live music, food, and drinks. The star of the show here is Between Two Lovers, a panel of women artists hosted by Journal of Palestine Studies managing editor Nehad Khader, with two short films to break up the action. The discussion will explore how Palestinian art has changed over the years and how, specifically, that’s related to women’s rights in the area. Events are $10 each. All day.
DANCE: Animal Collective takes over U Street Music Hall with a string of deejay sets at the venue. This time, Geologist and Deakin spin whatever they want, and you’ll listen and dance to it. What better way to pretend you don’t have to go to work tomorrow? Tickets ($10) are available online. 10 PM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at firstname.lastname@example.org, or find him on Twitter at @jason_koebler.