Thursday, July 26
PIG: There’s not much Italian about a good ol’ fashioned pig roast, but we won’t complain about the unlimited Peroni drafts at Local 16’s Pig Roast V. Jonny Grave plays live blues, and Whipple Farms provides the sides—come hungry and thirsty. Tickets ($15) are available online. 5 PM.
VIDEO GAMES: It has been a quarter century since the first Legend of Zelda video game came out. Besides being one of the most revered franchises of all time, it’s also got some of the most iconic music— Ocarina of Time inspired thousands of fanboys to learn to play that obscure instrument. Tonight at Wolf Trap, Symphony of the Goddesses will do classical rearrangements of some of the best songs as video from the games plays in the background. Tickets ($20 to $52) are available online. 8:30 PM.
Friday, July 27
INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS: Ah, opening ceremonies day. When Olympics controversies shift from logistical complaints (missiles on roofs, athlete condom allotment, budget problems) to athletic ones (steroids, age discrepancies, commie judge plots). Celebrate the best way you know how: by pretty much ignoring them and doing your own thing. H Street bars are hosting an Olympic happy hour/pub crawl—start at Argonaut, then hit Star and Shamrock, the Pug, and more before ending at the Queen Vic for $4 pints of Her Majesty’s finest ales. 5:30 PM.
INTERNATIONAL ISOLATION: If you already know ’merica is the best country and don’t need no stinkin medal count to back that up, head to the Fairgrounds’ South on South Capitol concert series, featuring local and regional Southern rock bands of the cover and non-cover variety, a mechanical bull, cornhole, and lotsa American brews. 4 to 10 PM.
Saturday, July 28
FASHION: I don’t generally think of my homeland, Bowie, as the fashion capital of the world, but it’s nice to see them trying with the Fashionista Flea Market, a vintage sale (theoretically) free of T-shirts used as dish rags, old baby cribs, and Beanie Babies. Instead, you’ll find gently used designer pieces, vintage dresses, and homemade jewelry. Free. 9 to noon.
BEER: If you call something “Drink the District: Beer Edition,” I’m going to put it in this guide. Part of New York Avenue will be closed off, and traffic will be replaced with beer tents from places such as New Belgium, Flying Dog, and Magic Hat. Once inside, you’ll get unlimited tastings and have the chance to scarf down food from local trucks. Tickets ($30) are available through Eventbrite. Noon to 4 or 5 to 9.
Sunday, July 29
POOL PARTY: Labor Day is just over a month away, so enjoy the pool while you still can. Capitol Skyline’s Adult Swim gets a little risqué this week—it’s hosted by Jenna Jameson. You’ve still got to keep your bathing suit on, though. Expect deejays, inflatable floats, six bars, and a grill-out. 11 AM. Free until 1 PM; $10 after.
BOOZY BRUNCH: The Arts Club of Washington is hosting an all-you-can-eat garden brunch with bottomless sangria, a jazz band, and cigars. You know the way to our hearts. Tickets ($40) are available online. Noon.
BOAT PARTY: Prefer to stay dry but near the water? How about you do it on a double-decker yacht playing electronic music? Soundwaves will lazily float down the Potomac as you not so lazily dance your ass off and sip cocktails. Hope you don’t get seasick. $20. 5 PM.