News & Politics

Dating Diaries: Lucas Wall

Want to know what dating in DC is really like? We do. We convinced several area singles to share their dating adventures with us for the next few months. Stay tuned for their tales and their opinions. And, of course, weigh in with your own thoughts. Today

Photograph by Chris Leaman.

Lucas Wall, 31.

Lives in: DC.

Makes a living: Writing and editing an association newsletter.

Background: I grew up in Fairfax County, then went to college in Missouri. I worked for newspapers in Anchorage, Houston, and Boston, and then returned to Washington in 2006. I enjoy traveling and have been to all 50 state capitols. I’m now striving to visit every national park and, eventually, every country. I also like to work out, jog, bicycle, play tennis, and watch sports (especially football).

Dating history: I came out about nine years ago. I had a girlfriend in college for about a year and a half. She was one of my best friends during high school, and we started dating in college. We were at different colleges and internships, so it was always long distance. We broke up around Thanksgiving. Our relationship was great in many aspects, but not in that one key department. I had known about my interest in men for a long time but had tried to ignore it. I hoped it’d be fine with a woman. It was really difficult to have to accept that was the reality. When that relationship ended, it wasn’t just breaking up with one specific person but with an entire gender.

I had to figure out how to come out and when to do it. I didn’t know any gay people. I was clueless about that whole part of society. There was a nine-month transition period. I decided when I went back to school for senior year that I was going to force myself to come out. There was a woman who worked in a secretarial role at the journalism school in Missouri. I knew she was a lesbian. She was one of the few gay people I knew. The first week of class, I reached out to her and asked for some help. It was a relief to tell someone, and she pointed me in various directions.

Coming out was like shooting myself out of a cannon. I told all of my close friends. My ex-girlfriend had pretty much figured it out before I was able to admit it to myself. My parents were already separated. My dad said it wasn’t a surprise and was extremely receptive. My mom is more of a religious person. She has some fundamental, religious issues with homosexuality. She responded by sending me books about how God and religion can help. I responded with books about how parents can accept and support their gay children. There was a definite strain there for a few years. Now I think she accepts the reality that this isn’t going to change. My brother has been very cool about it. He and his wife are very accepting and approving.

After coming out, I was transient and not in a place where I’d have a relationship. I came back to Washington, and now I’m finally in a place where I’m more settled and searching for a more serious relationship, not just a temporary fling.

Your type: First and foremost is companionship. There’s a slog to a lot of the hours of day. It would be nice to have someone to share in those endeavors. I’d like someone to challenge me to do more exciting things instead of staying home—to go to a museum or something. I feel like there’s a wealth of opportunities for things to do, and I don’t get out and do enough of them. Someone to travel with, too—that’s a big thing for me. I like white guys who are within a few years of my age. Someone who is slender, in shape, and keeps himself fit.

Celebrity crush: Michael Phelps.

Longest relationship: When I was in Houston, I dated someone for about seven months. We met at a dance club on Halloween. I don’t know that it ever had the long-term, serious potential. We were a little too different, and I was looking to get out of Houston—I hated living there. He was there and intending to stay. We never really had a conversation about having a monogamous relationship or a commitment. It was a little more than casual, but it didn’t make it into the “serious” category.

Thing that sweeps you off your feet: Good looks. Politeness. A love of travel. And just a high spirit of adventure to try new things.

Finish these sentences:

My high school prom was . . .
. . . an event that I attended but that I wasn’t very interested in.

“Happily ever after” is . . .
. . . finding the right spouse and being able to buy a nice condo in the city together.

A deal breaker is . . .
. . . smoking, drug use, wanting to live in the suburbs, owning a dog. I have two cats.

John McCain is . . .
. . . an old guy who has served his country and needs to retire.

Barack Obama is . . .
. . . passion for a new generation of leadership.


Music: Dance/club music, high-energy stuff, and the old gay standard, Madonna.

TV: The Amazing Race, Law & Order, Without a Trace, Scrubs.

Drink: Any kind of fruity cocktail.

Bar: Town.

Sport: To play, tennis. To watch, football.

Previous Daters:
Kate Searby
Mark Drapeau
Michael Amesquita
Sally Colson Cline
Max Schwartz
Dana Neil

Check back at to meet more of our daters.