As these things go, we expected to find pages of “missed connections” on Craigslist before, during, and after New Year’s Eve. But maybe this year, many of those who passed in the night—or on the Metro, in the supermarket line, or the crowded dance floor—managed to get a number, an address, a name. Still, among those who did post were some interesting encounters, with references to sweater kittens, great kisses, and too much Campbell’s soup. Here are highlights (some edited for content or length, though original spelling and punctuation remains).
Irving St. by the high school. Me walking away from shopping, you walking toward it. You wore a striped sock cap with a fuzzy ball on the top, brown hair just past your shoulders. I was carrying a bunch of bags like a pack mule, brown jacket, and bearded. We locked eyes as we crossed paths. But you didn’t look away and neither did I.
I contemplated catching up to you, but then thought that was a weird thing to do. Weird or not, sort of wish I had. But the moment was gone.
You were a performer—the “Sweater Kitten” that played Rudolph the Reindeer in the Washington Improv Theater’s 10:00 PM show on New Year’s Eve. I was in the audience, and then mingling on the floor later. Actually, I wasn’t mingling but hovering between 3 and 12 feet from you, trying to come up with something to say to break the ice. But at an improvisational comedy performance after-party, there’s a LOT of pressure to come up with world-class icebreaking introductions. I cracked under the pressure and silently broke out in flop sweat even though you never even saw me. My friends decided to leave and I left with them, my 2014 already off to a terrible start even though it was minutes old because I was a wallflower.
But now, 18 hours later, I finally figured out what to say to you. It’s not really that good, but it’s the best I could come up with given less than a day to think it over: “I thought your sweater was the best one of all the Sweater Kittens.”
So . . . coffee somewhere?
Ringing in the New Year with you was fantastic. You are a great kisser . . . I didn’t get your number. Let’s get together!
I kissed you for the first time under a full moon.
I hope you are well . . .
I only wish I could see you again and kiss you again for the New Year!
You are an amazing woman who’s smile can light of the world 😉
New Year’s Eve around 5pm.
I was standing in line behind you—I was wearing a mink jacket. You, 60ish, dapper, very attractive.
You were buying waaaayyyyy too much Campbell’s Chunky Soup. You poor daring, don’t you have someone who can make soup for you?
I was waiting by a chain link fence on 34th street and you came over to me after the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve. It was apparent that you had had quite a few drinks and I was concerned for your safety since you were by yourself and drunk . . . It seemed like you were speaking in French so I tried to communicate with you using hand gestures and what little French/Spanish I knew. . . . you started kissing me and I in-turn returned the favor. . . . I came to my senses and realized I shouldn’t take advantage of you because you were clearly very drunk and not thinking clearly. . . . you told me to wait for you for five minutes because you had to leave and use the restroom. . . .
But later after most everyone left I saw you again with another group of people. I came up to you to make sure everything was ok and to give you back your hoodie that you had left next to me. It turns out that you were ok and you were with your sister’s group and that the hoodie was your sister’s. I talked to her for a few moments, and she told me that you were not french, just really drunk.
I have been thinking about you often since then, and I know this is a shot in the dark, you will probably never see this, and if you do, I doubt you really remember much of anything from that night. But if you do remember me and you would like to get to know me more, I would certainly like to get to know you more. . . .
Hi . . . you are about 25 blonde cute and came up to me at the Starbucks in Merrifield asking if I taught college at JMU. . . . You later admitted that that was just a way to talk to me as I was on my Laptop and I was your type . . . Clean cut, white, older. You ended up sitting with me and after about 30 minutes of banter we came back to my place nearby and had a really hot time . . . you were leaving the next day to spend Christmas in PA . . . Said you would be back in town before New Year’s and that I was to email you . . . You gave me your card with your personal email on the back. I don’t know what the hell I did with that card . . . Maybe I am an absent-minded professor after all . . . Ha ha! Would love to see you again and I know it’s mutual. . . Hope you see this!
Hope this finds u the love of my life or at-least I think so we talked briefly New Year’s Day (1-1-14) v8 metro bus to archives around 11:40 pm I believe u are my diamond n the rough let me know what I was wearing so I know ur real aight gorgeous ttyl and hear from u soon
Here’s a MC to start the New Year! I ran across a couple of cool chicks with great senses of humor on NYE in DTA. We chatted briefly but never got around to whether or not you were locals before I had to leave. We did settle a college sports debate, though. Anyway, if you get this and you’re not entirely creeped out by it—you know what to do. (And, please tell me something specific about you, me and/or what we discussed so I have some belief that you’re the correct MC!)