It’s here—the end of this astounding/heart-wrenching/choose-your-own-adjective time in our lives known as 2020. How did we make it through? We put a bunch of (mostly trivial) questions on the topic to Washington. Like: Are you having more or less sex? (Answer: A good amount.) What’s your priciest pandemic purchase? (Guns, vacation homes, Roombas.) What’d you do when you heard the president got Covid? (There were a lot of . . . feelings.) In all, 1,061 locals responded. Here are the results of our 100-percent unscientific survey about one exceptional year.
Money Stuff
Have you lost or saved money?
Lost: 19%
Saved: 81%
Has your income declined?
Depends—are we counting the stock market? 4%
It’s gone up: 19%
It’s the same: 56%
Yes, by less than 10%: 8%
Yes, by more than 10%: 9%
It has vanished: 4%
What’s the priciest thing you’ve bought?
“$1,770 Vuitton boots.”
“A dog with anxiety issues—over $8K now!”
“$1,200 Sybian vibrator.”
“A house (for the yard and pool), $1.1 million.”
“Beach house—$1 million.”
“$1,000—a gun.”
“An ottoman that looks like a little cow, and it was $53. Also a mini Tiffany lamp that has sunglasses, which was also $53.”
“Anti-Trump ads in swing states = $6,800.”
“Christmas trees to build a Christmas-tree forest in my living room—$350.”
“Amazon stock shares, ~$6,900.”
“15-minute Zoom appointment with my doctor, $264.”
“$815 Japanese house jacket.”
“$400 Roomba”
“Do multiple-hundreds-of-dollar trips to the liquor store count?”
My weekly takeout budget is:
$100 or less: 34%
Depends on the week I’m having: 39%
I’d be too depressed if I tallied it: 14%
Never thought to figure it out: 12%
What’s the smartest thing you’ve bought?
“A divorce lawyer.”
“Extra Chuckit balls.”
“Masks! And a digital piano.”
“I didn’t buy anything, but I paid off all my debt.”
“A Theragun for WFH desk aches and pains.”
“Bidet.”
“Fanny pack.”
“Hammock.”
“Plants, and go-carts for the kids.”
“Air fryer.”
“A pregnancy pillow (and I’m not pregnant).”
“Under-desk foot massager (this is also the dumbest thing I bought).”
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve bought?
“$1,770 Vuitton boots.”
“100 pounds of dried beans.”
“A puzzle with a photo of popcorn. I rage-quit after two hours.”
“Frogs.”
“Mini microphone for pet interviews. TikTok made me do it.”
“Toe stretchers.”
“Probably a condo, but time will tell.”
“Sex worker for threesome with side hustle: $2,500.”
“A car.”
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Sex Stuff
Is your relationship with your partner better or worse?
Better: 38%
Worse: 50%
Same: 12%
Are you having more or less sex with a live-in partner?
More: 10%
Less: 22%
Same: 29%
No live-in partner, and I’m getting pretty busy: 10%
No live-in partner, but that’s not happening: 29%
Singles: Are you still on dating apps?
How else would I meet quarantine baes? 19%
Sigh, yes, although I may take a vow of celibacy: 33%
Hell, no! 2020 dating is over: 48%
I’ve kissed someone new:
Yes: 16%
No: 84%
I’ve had sex with someone new:
Yes: 13%
No: 87%
I’ve had sex outdoors:
Yes: 6%
No: 94%
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Work Stuff
My worst day at work was:
“6-hour Zoom workshop!”
“RBG death and had to answer calls about how it would impact polls.”
“Boss walked in while I was on a video interview.”
“CARES Act days.”
“Panic attack on a Zoom call.”
“I’m a teacher—they all suck.”
“I spilled coffee all over my bed.”
“Every day a patient or coworker died (I work in a hospital).”
Networking?
Oh, yeah: 16%
Nope: 84%
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Trump Stuff
I’ve been to an event at the White House (GOP convention, Rose Garden ceremony for ACB, etc.):
Yes: 1%
No: 99%
I watched Trump’s convention fireworks and secretly kind of liked them:
Yes: 7%
No: 93%
I had to stop following members of the Conway family on Twitter/Insta/TikTok:
Yep: 19%
Nope: 81%
I’ve seen Tiffany Trump around Washington:
Yes: 2%
No: 98%
Were you more or less into the presidential election, compared with years past?
More: 48%
Less: 15%
Same: 37%
During the first presidential debate, I (check all that apply) . . .
Turned it off: 39%
Couldn’t look away: 37%
Drank way too much: 28%
Immediately researched how to move to Canada: 17%
Cried: 15%
I volunteered in the 2020 election:
Yes: 24%
No: 76%
I watched The West Wing:
Yes: 19%
No: 81%
I cried rewatching The West Wing:
Yes: 15%
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Covid
I know someone who’s had Covid:
Yes: 84%
No: 16%
I know someone who died of Covid:
Yes: 23%
No: 77%
How many times have you been in a home that’s not yours?
More than 10: 13%
Fewer than 10: 69%
No, thank you: 18%
Using public restrooms?
Sure: 21%
I try to avoid them: 61%
Hard no: 18%
How many times have you been tested for Covid?
0: 46%
1–5: 51%
6–10: 2%
More than 10: 1%
Will you take a Covid vaccine?
Yes: 61%
No: 5%
Maybe?: 34%
When I heard the president had Covid, I . . .
“*sips tea*”
“Went to the roof to watch him fly to the hospital.”
“Cackled and danced.”
“Lit a prayer candle. We’d be extra f—ed if he died.”
“Looked up plots of several Shakespeare plays on Wikipedia.”
“Got scared for all the people he’d been in close contact with.”
“LAUGHED. Supposed to be unbiased because I’m a journo, but the karma was too good.”
“Did not believe him (still don’t).”
“Felt something for the first time in weeks.”
“Shrugged.”
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Coping, Self Care
Describe your facial hair:
Still shaving: 36%
Groomed: 33%
Unruly: 12%
Vacation mode: 19%
Which beauty products are you still using?
Toothpaste: 98%
Deodorant: 92%
Razor: 72%
Tweezers: 64%
Hair dryer: 35%
Foundation: 22%
Hair dye: 17%
Lipstick: 16%
Pomade: 7%
Botox and/or fillers: 3%
Have you gained or lost weight?
Gained: 42%
Lost: 23%
Stable: 35%
I had to start taking sleeping pills (or other sleep aids):
Yes: 31%
No: 69%
Pot—or not?
Totally: 23%
Of course not: 64%
It didn’t use to be my thing, but now . . : 13%
Therapy?
Mm-hmm: 31%
Nah: 52%
Didn’t think it was for me, but now . . . : 17%
Are you still wearing the tie-dye sweatsuit you impulse-bought in April?
Yes: 23%
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Leisure
How many Zoom happy hours have you attended?
More than 10: 28%
6–10: 24%
1–5: 34%
Not my kind of happy hour: 14%
Have you been on a plane?
Yes: 26% No: 74%
If yes, for work or for pleasure?
Work: 13%
Pleasure: 87%
How many Ubers/ride shares have you taken?
More than 20: 5%
More than 10: 6%
5-ish?: 29%
Eww: 60%
How many times have you cleaned out your closet?
More than 5: 12%
Fewer than 5: 59%
Who the hell has time for that? 29%
How many loaves of bread have you baked?
Zero: 68%
Fewer than 10: 16%
More than 10: 12%
My first one never even rose: 4%
Have you read any books about antiracism?
Yes: 47%
No: 53%
I’ve been camping:
Yes: 19%
No: 81%
I watched Contagion:
No: 75%
Yes: 24%
Yes, more than once: 1%
I eat at restaurants indoors:
Yes: 20%
No: 80%
I eat at restaurants outdoors:
Yes: 69%
No: 31%
I tip more on food now:
Yes: 90%
No: 10%
I go drink at bars:
Yes: 16%
No: 84%
I’ve had the Fauci Pouchy:
Yes: 13%
No: 87%
Did you care more or less about the Nats and Caps this year?
More: 5%
Less: 95%
What’s the best social gathering you’ve attended?
“An outdoor violin concert hosted (and performed) by a coworker.”
“Glow-in-the-dark dodgeball.”
“Paddeboarding on the Potomac.”
“Lavender-picking in Churchville, Maryland.”
“March on Washington.”
“The bars I visit in my dreams.”
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Our Town
How many protests have you attended?
Zero: 52%
1–5: 44%
6–10: 3%
More than 10: 1%
I’ve been to Black Lives Matter Plaza:
Yes: 48%
No: 52%
I mourned RBG:
In public: 16%
In private: 66%
Barely: 12%
Nope: 6%
Store or restaurant you’re saddest to see close?
“Acqua al 2.”
“Cap Lounge.”
“My local dry cleaner.”
“THE POST PUB. I’ll never get over that.”
“U Street Music Hall.”
How many spots around Washington have you been for the first time?
1: 13%
2–10: 53%
More than 10: 8%
I don’t leave my neighborhood: 26%
Whenever we go back to normal, I hope we can keep:
Takeout cocktails: 72%
Streeteries: 66%
Curbside pickup for just about everything: 64%
Extra time with my family: 52%
Pods: 9%
My fondness for Washington has:
Increased: 65%
Decreased: 35%
The thing I miss most about pre-pandemic Washington is:
“Elbowing my way to the front of the bar in the basement of El Centro on 14th Street.”
“Embassy events.”
“Summer-intern season. I miss seeing all the young eager kids out at bars making poor decisions. It’s the Circle of Life here.”
“Minibar.”
“Museuming.”
“Volunteering at the zoo.”
“Non-Trump-supporter tourists.”
“Being in a crowded bar, drag shows.”
“Networking happy hour.”
“I just want to make out with one stranger in one tightly packed bar. I just want to share a sip of my drink with a random girl who said my hair looked pretty. I even miss getting stuck under someone’s armpit in a tightly packed Metro car. I just want to feel something again.”
“Carelessness.”
Will 2021 be . . .
Better: 82%
Worse: 18%
Illos by Jenny Rosenberg