The District's fleet of fire engines and ambulances is in very bad shape, according to a comprehensive audit released today. [Capital Comment]

President Obama is going to carry out America's silliest tradition tomorrow and "pardon" a turkey. Both candidate birds look delicious. [City Desk]

The region's tallest office building, a 390-foot tower across the river in Arlington, has panoramic views of the Mall, a sterling environmental record, and no tenants. [Post]

Montgomery County Police shut down seven spas in Gaithersburg, Rockville, and Bethesda suspected of doubling as brothels. [MCPD]

One-time White House party crasher and full-time awful person Michaele Salahi and Journey guitarist Neal Schon are getting married in December. Live on TV. On pay-per-view for $14.95. Seriously, love is dead. [TMZ]

Popular British boy band One Direction will play at Nationals Park next August 11; tickets on sale next week. [Nationals]

Here's an idea: What if we just paid Dan Snyder off to change the name of his football team? [Post]

Meet the new chef at BLT Steak, a so-called "Wagyu master." [Best Bites]