The Best Quotes From the Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful List

We give you a sampling of the brains that come with beauty.

By: Carol Ross Joynt

The Hill has published its list of the “50 most beautiful” people who work on Capitol Hill. It must have some merit, because this is the ninth time it’s assessed the physical beauty of elected officials, their staffers, and the people who lobby them. Who knew? Maybe what this means is that if Washington is Hollywood for ugly people, then Capitol Hill somehow found a loophole, or the aliens invaded, knowing the best way to achieve the apocalypse is in an attractive vessel.

Whatever. Here, in no particular order, are the best quotes from among the 50 most beautiful people on the Hill.

—Michele Bachmann, representative: “I’m a bottom feeder when it comes to clothes shopping.”

—Kristen Callaway, legislative assistant: “Who’s the guy who’s 19?” (referring to her fondness for Nationals baseball games)

—Ryan Hanretty, legislative assistant: “. . . I love McDonald’s, so I’m going to eat McDonald’s.”

—Andrew Aronow, staff assistant: “Never wear the same shirt-tie-slacks combination, ever.”

—Dan Lindner, press assistant: “Other than that, my girlfriend and my cat keep me on my toes.”

—Ben Halle, policy aide: “In college my friends used to make fun of me for not showering every day.”

—Brynn Rovito, lawyer for Senate sergeant at arms: “I’m not a Tory Burch-and-pearls type of person.”

—Nan Hayworth, representative: “Somebody had a splinter; I had tweezers.” (referring to her oversize handbag).

—Jake Terrell, Senate legislative correspondent: “I’ve been playing a lot of reggae recently, and a lot of Bob Marley. I get really fidgety unless I have something to do.”

—Laura Froehlich: public policy associate: “Don’t be an a--hole. Be a nice person and don’t take things too seriously.”

—Jennifer Fisher, lobbyist: “You can’t be completely wild with your style. You still have to conform to the norm. But at the same time, add a pop of personality.”

—Brian Bosak, legislative assistant. It’s a tie between: “When I get back from the gym, I generally settle in with a cup of coffee and my Bible. That’s the routine that gives me the most energy for the day.” And: “She’ll sometimes take me outside and have me pose in certain ways to take photos. The things you do for love!”

—Shelley New, research assistant: “What I lack in skill and ability, I make up for in enthusiasm.”

—Caleb Smith, new media director: “Guys can’t accessorize that much. Girls have a lot more options in that regard, and a watch can really set things apart.”

—Andrew Simpson, staff assistant: “I think I’ll stick with the Democrats for now.”

—Carolyn Amirpashaie, special assistant: “I’d much rather be sitting at home in sweatpants.”

—Julian Malasi, policy issues manager: “If I don’t run at least two or three times a week, I feel like there’s something missing.”

—Marian White, bipartisan staff assistant: “Some of my very best friends are Democrats.”

—Alyssa Dack, outreach coordinator: “Leave me to my nerdiness.”

—Samantha Dezur, VP of communications: “Politics and that sort of thing always interested me, and I love fashion, too.”

—Leslie Rath, scheduler: “We don’t actually kill the fox; the whole thing is the chase.”

—Jessica Imotichey, senior policy analyst: “My son keeps telling me I need an urban garden. I have no urban garden.”

—Katie Ryan, House committee staffer: “It’s just about the right time and the right place, and it hasn’t happened yet.” (Referring to the search for love in DC).

—Mary Hiratsuka, legislative assistant: “When I left Alaska, all of a sudden I became a fish snob.”

—Amanda Munoz, press assistant: “I’m like a 97-year-old woman—that’s actually the truth.”

—Jim Himes, representative: “I worked very briefly with a local agency on local stuff, but I was not quote-unquote a model.” (Referring to his time as a model)

—Nikki Santos, executive assistant: “I try to stay away from coffee, alcohol, and soda. But I’m from Seattle, so sometimes I can’t help myself around coffee.”

—Kelly Ayotte, senator: “Debating Joe Biden would be quite enjoyable.”

—Melissa Medina, staff assistant: “I’m married right now—to the LSAT.”

Jill Duckworth, staff assistant: “A few times I’ve gone to the grocery store [without wearing makeup], but I immediately regretted it.”

—Zach Hunter, communications specialist: “They look at me funny sometimes when I walk quickly down the sidewalk.”

—Lindsey Cobia, staff assistant: “. . . sometimes I feel like people need a little California in them.”

—John Sonsalla, policy assistant: “I don’t have to pay someone $200 a month to tell me how to work out.”