You know what they say: love finds you when you least expect it. However, they fail to mention that sometimes love hops off the train at the next Metro stop faster than you can say, “What’s your sign?”
Fortunately for us all, Missed Connections has provided a last resort for reconnecting with our fleeting love—a modern-day message in a bottle of sorts. So let’s take a look at some of this week’s best…
Thanks for the Cupcake – m4w – 46 (Dupont)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2008-08-26, 6:19PM EDT
You were generous enough to give me a cupcake on the Red Line between Dupont and CP. Kicked myself for not having a business card with me. Name the flavor you gave me and I’ll respond.
Hold up, she gave you a cupcake and you still didn’t get her digits? Come on, man!
The elevator ride up and that giant cockroach outside slide door – m4w – 25 (Silver Spring)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-08-27, 11:57AM EDT
That cockroach was so big it could’ve been a pet. I know it was a brief moment as we joked about it and how you escaped the city and cockroaches all together, but I forgot to say to you welcome to D.C. and that you have a great smile. Would definitely like to grab a drink with you if you happen to see this. I live on the 6th floor, and you got off on the 4th floor. Cheers.
Location: Silver Spring
Nothing brings two people together like gigantic cockroaches. A tear? Oh no, that’s not a tear. Just got a little something in my eye…
Saturday Evening – Obama t-shirt, diesel jeans, diesel underwear – m4m – 25
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2008-08-25, 1:04AM EDT
You: adorable white dude with a buzz cut, blue diesel jeans, diesel underwear and an Obama 08 tshirt. This is a real long shot, but we were waiting for the same train and ended up getting off at the same place too. It was like two stops. We got on and we stood across from each other and were glancing back and forth at each other. I don’t know if it was because you were intrigued or if it was because you were wierded out because I was staring, but you were extremely hot. Even more so when you put your arms up and I could see your underwear band. I was with my friend. If she wasn’t with me or if you weren’t with what appeared to be your family, I would definitely have said hi. Anyways, total long shot, but had to take the chance.
Why would he or his family be weirded out by you blatantly staring at his exposed underwear? That’s completely normal.
Locked eyes in the locker room – m4m – 30 (Results Cap Hill)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2008-08-27, 12:13AM EDT
Tonight around 7pm you were in a towel walking to the showers. I was in a sleeveless shirt and shorts and was filling up my water bottle at the water fountain. We checked each other out, and I would’ve followed but didn’t want to seem like a stalker 🙂
Location: Results Cap Hill
I am so glad you decided not to follow this poor man while he was trying to take a shower. But if you think that is stalker-ish, what exactly would you call this post?
And here is one from somebody who seems to be confused about the purpose of Missed Connections. It doesn’t come with instructions. Can we blame him?
I’m going to break up with you… – m4w (Not sure yet)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2008-08-27, 11:43AM EDT
… but I don’t know how to do it.
You just told me that you love me and I feel TERRIBLE because I’m just not that into you. I should have told you right then but you seemed to have put so much thought into your presentation and I just couldn’t break your heart at that very moment.
I don’t want to fade away – like I do so often – because I think you deserve better and, frankly, it’s time for me to be adult about these things.
I don’t want to do it at dinner because I’ll have to stare at you the whole meal knowing I’m about to drop a ton of bricks on you. And I can’t do it before we eat because that’s just weird — “I think we should break up. Okeydokey! Let’s EAT, I’m STARVING!”
I don’t want to do it at the end of the week because then you’ll stew about it all weekend without work to keep you distracted (I know I would). And if I do it at the beginning of the week you may not get any work done because you’ll be sad (again, just speaking from personal experience, here).
I don’t want to say, “I’m going to come over for a few minutes” because the rest of the conversation will go like this:
You: “Great! Want to spend the night?”
Me: “No, no… I just want to tell you something.” (trying to avoid the word “talk”, which is a synonym for “break up”)
You: “Oh. What do you want to tell me?”
Me: “Eh… nothing.”
Me: “Well, you’ll see.”
You: “Is it a surprise?”
Me: “No. Well… sort of. I mean you’ll definitely be surprised. We just need to talk.”
You: “Are you going to break up with me?”
Me: (laughing nervously) “No! Well, maybe.”
Then she’ll tell me not to bother coming over and this will have turned into a “phone breakup”. Nice.
And you’ve got a huge project at work and your father is sick and this will be just one more thing to stress you out. You’re such an amazing, beautiful girl and this is SO hard!
Maybe I’m just overthinking this. Maybe fading out is the best solution, here. Or I can just hang in there and do what so many friends do… tell myself (and you) that I love you hoping it’ll happen. No, that’s no good. Ugh!
* Location: Not sure yet
What a poor, lost soul. Something tells me that this lengthy post isn’t going to remedy the situation. Good luck my friend, good luck.