Tuesday, May 12 at 11 AM

I wish.

You've gotta head into Virginia. I love the ones at Nhu Lan and Song Que in the Eden Center. There's also a pretty good one at Banh Mi DC Sandwich on Rte. 50 near the Graham Center.

Be great to get a good banh mi place in DC or in the close-in Maryland suburbs. Used to be a good place in Adelphi, but it's gone now.

Any banh mi spottings you want to report, chatters? 

Oh, I will. You can be sure of that.

And thanks for the thorough report.

The owners are Mohammad Afzal and Abdul Alnoor. We profiled them in Best Bites in the magazine a couple of issues back.

One of the secrets at Ravi is the 18-hour marinade. They're also very, very consistent. The owners are very hands-on.

Interestingly, the men contend that what you get, here, at their shops is better than what you'd find from a similar shop in Peshawar, in Pakistan, where they're from.

Are you asking if, after the Leader of the Free World makes a visit, the place can justify the extraordinary level of scrutiny and skepticism that you are going to bring to a simple little burger? And most likely, after waiting a long, long time in line with others whose hopes have been raised high, high, high?

Probably not.

But it's a really, really good burger. Easily the best of the crop of burger spots in town now, and, as I said more than a year ago, the best burger I've eaten that doesn't cost $29. 

I'm with you.

There are places that I sincerely want to see ride out the difficult times, and then there are others, like Carpaccio, that I wish would fold up the tent and go home, now.

No love. No passion. I can't understand the hordes of customers they appear to be getting. Unless it's all about the monstrous portions.

(Monstrous portions + Italian food + Sinatra/Martin/Clooney = downturn survivor, in the minds of a lot of restaurateurs these days.)

Where to begin? … Lots of what appear to be jarred ingredients … rolls that I would bet came frozen and were baked … "grilled" veggies that aren't … sauces that haven't been reduced enough (you can still taste too much of a tang of wine in them).

Add to that a mostly clueless staff that I'm not sure understands the meaning of "fresh" or "homemade," and you have a dispiriting dining experience.

And not cheap, as you say.

Really?

Anyway, I'd be surprised if the Obamas ended up eating there.

I think they have shown themselves to be very aware of the importance of symbolism, as evidenced by their intriguing high-low eating-out choices (exquisite fine-dining and neighborhood joints) and their announcement of the Alice Waters-approved garden. I kind of doubt they'd make an appearance at a chain.

New Big Wong in Chinatown. The chefs like the live fish in the tanks. 

Bistrot du Coin, in Dupont Circle. Good, cheap wines, mussels, fries, etc. 

Timberlakes, which is gone, used to be the other big cheap, fun dive where you'd see chefs — well, cooks — hanging out.

I'm not unsympathetic to what you say — I think we've all been in situations where we are inexplicably ignored and it winds up ruining an otherwise good meal.

But I just don't think you can know that you were ignored because of your ethnicity.

It's funny; I hear this complaint quite a bit, actually. Seldom if ever by email or letter, almost always on the downlow at parties or functions. And it's almost always from someone of the paler persuasion.

I taught for seven years at Howard University, where I was one of only a few whites on campus, and I also went to graduate school at a women's college, where I was one of only a few men on campus. So I think I know a little something about being on the outside, looking in.

I think a lot of people who are used to being the majority — never having to think about their skin, or their culture –are actually pretty paranoid when they are thrust into situations where they suddenly notice that they stand out. They internalize how they feel they're being perceived.

I'd be willing to be that this is one of those situations. 

I will say that I've had times at Bob's where service was brusque or even gruff, but never to the extent that it dominated my experience of eating there.

And ordinarily, I cut a place like this a little slack, since English isn't a first language and the primary responsibility of the staff is to take care of its core clientele. 

Why am I answering this?

When I was writing my column at the City Paper, one of the editorial assistants found an ad for a place in Crystal City, I think it was, that had just been singled out (by Playboy?) as having some of the best food of any strip club in America.

I thought it might make for a fun read, to go out there and have a look, as it were.

I floated the idea by my editor at the time, a woman, who said something to the effect of: over my dead body.

I pressed the point, and she said, Sure. Fine. Go ahead. As long as you take your wife with you.

And that, as they say, was that.

So, to answer your question: No, sorry, I am ignorant as to the culinary worth of the various strip club buffets that this fine metropolitan area abounds in.

The problem with what you're saying, and it's the case with many (not all, but many) claims of reverse discrimination from whites: it's not a symmetrical thing, as you're arguing. It's asymmetrical. Most things having to do with race and ethnicity are.

(Plus, in this area, why wouldn't African Americans make up a part of the core of your audience if the food is barbecue?)

Note, please, that I didn't say it was okay to "blow off" a customer. I don't think that's ever okay.

I may have been stretching the point, but I think if you talk to any restaurant owner, and they're being honest with you, they will tell you that they give more and better service to their regulars. Why? Simple. The regulars show up more often. They spend more money. 

Take him to Zorba's Cafe, right above the Dupont Circle metro.

One of my favorite spots in the city. Has been for 25 years, now. Good, honest Greek food, hearty portions, good prices. (Don't miss the chickpea salad.) And, if it's nice, you can sit at one of the umbrella-topped tables on the patio outside and watch the passing parade.

Or, a second option — Malaysia Kopitiam, a few blocks south, on M St.

It'll be out in a couple of weeks.

The big surprise: We've got 31 new places on the list.

That's almost a 1/3 turnover from last year. 

I think this says a lot about the area, a lot about how competitive things are. I hope it also tells you how seriously we take this, and how hard we work. Our philosophy is: Every year, places have to earn their right to remain on the list. We don't believe in sinecures, here.

I don't recalling ever being treated to a spiel like that at Applebee's. Or Rasika.

Where you tend to find these have-you-dined-with-us-before monologues, ironically, is at high-minded, expensive restaurants like Rasika, Restaurant Eve, Per Se, etc.

You get them, because the restaurants want you to know just how much detail and thought goes into eating there. Some people like this; some don't. I tend to think a little goes a long way, particularly with dish description, and that, in general, a restaurant should let you discover its charms, on your own, and at your own particular pace. 

How great would it be to come across a restaurant that puts out exquisite (and exacting) food, but that doesn't feel the need to tell you all about every last ingredient that went into the dishes, or every thoughtful touch you're about to get, and doesn't seem to be holding its collective breath throughout dinner — a restaurant that is the equivalent of DiMaggio* in center. Brilliant, seemingly effortless, and utterly unselfconscious.

A restaurant that seems to say: This? No big deal.

Which would — would it not? — make everything it did seem like an even bigger deal.

* In light of Gene Weingarten's column on Sunday, about outdated references from middle-aged columnists mystifying and turning off younger readers**, I should point out, here, that Joe DiMaggio was a legendary centerfielder for the Yankees and the subject of a Simon and Garfunkel*** song.

** Really? The reason young people are turning away from newspapers is because of column references they don't get and not, oh, I don't know — the Web? … And have we devolved that much, that younger people today can't be expected to do what younger people before them did — i.e., read up on the things they didn't understand, in an effort to understand them — and are right to demand only contemporary references?

*** A folk-rock duo from the '60s.

Actually, he's supposed to be returning to action in the next year with a new version of Galileo. When, is the question.

Is he disliked?

I don't know about that. I think he has a lot of fans, actually.

If there is animus, I think a lot of it has to do with what kind of place Bebo turned out to be.

I have heard from many, many people who had abominable experiences there, and who left feeling not just disappointed but dejected. I was one of them.

Too bad, too, because the food could be good. But not consistently good. And the fact is, no amount of good food at good prices can make up for the feeling that I and many others, evidently, got while we were there. 

I think you do better in a situation like that with a la carte.

With a tasting menu, everybody at the table is obliged to order the same pre-set lineup of dishes, limiting your options — and eliminating the chance of sharing.

I like tasting menus best when you want to be on the same page with like-minded, adventurous diners, and go through a meal, slowly, together.

Congratulations!

But boy oh boy, you're going to have a hard time finding a brunch on Monday in that price-range.

The Four Seasons does a good and varied breakfast, but of course it's going to cost you. Cafe du Parc is more reasonably priced, but I'm not sure it's going to have the spread you're looking for. 

Soon-to-be newlywed, I've got your email address, which I cut from the bottom of your question, and I'm going to throw this open to anybody out there who has a place in mind that I simply can't come up with right now and ask them to email me: tkliman@washingtonian.com

I'll email you if I hear of anything good.  

Thanks for asking, and try to enjoy yourself this weekend.

I'm off to lunch — a surprise, since I hit two restaurants in succession last night for dinner (a story for next week) and didn't think I'd be able to eat again for another day …

Be well, everyone — eat well — and let's do it again next week at 11 …

Didn't get your question answered? Submit in advance to Todd's chat next Tuesday, May 19 at 11 AM.