News & Politics

Overlooked: Best Missed Connections of the Week

We’ve scoured Craigslist in search of the funniest, strangest, cutest, and everything else-est Missed Connections of the week. Here are our picks—with some commentary, of course.

Young man with a brood of old men–w4m–24 (The Mall)
Date: 2010-04-29, 9:24AM EDT

You: no headphones, recording equipment, tripod-like build, clownish type hair style, demure bird-esque features. . . with an underlying dynamic sexual prowess to be sure. Beautiful smile. Seemed like you were getting pretty good tape. Although, I don’t know how you would REALLY KNOW b/c you weren’t wearing headphones. I think I saw you applying muscle pain ointment to the old men you were traveling with.

Me: sitting on a bench on The Mall. . . listening to yet-to-be-released music, undiscovered, independent, and willing to see where this chance meeting may take us!

Because telling someone he looks like the crossbreed of Bozo the Clown and Norman Bates is a surefire way of getting a response on this forum.

Vida this am–m4m–40 (The gym)
Date: 2010-04-30, 11:11AM EDT

I saw you this am at the gym, think we’ve hooked up at Dave’s parties before. Up for one on one? You were right next to me at one point. . .let me know where it was, so I know it’s you.

Wait. Up for one-on-one? But you said you two have hooked up before at Dave’s parties . . . Oh . . . Eww.

CARE–m4w–24 (18th NW & L)
Date: 2010-04-26, 10:26PM EDT

You- Using a killer smile to solicit donations for an NPO.

Me- On my way to the gym and skeptical to hand over my credit card to a stanger

Your good looks and passion for social change really grabbed my attention. I hope to see you on the corner again.

If I don’t. . .coffee sometime?

You mean before or after she steals your identity and runs off to Guadalajara with your life’s savings?


The Puzzle Pieces of my Heart–m4w–23 (Ivory Tower, GWU)
Date: 2010-04-26, 10:23PM EDT

I’m new to missed connections, but felt compelled to post because I believe I’ve encountered the workings of the love of my life. The thing is. . .I’ve never actually met this person. Please allow me to explain. At 6:30pm today at the tables outside the Pita Pit in the Ivory Tower, I found a completely filled-out Friday New York Times crossword puzzle. What’s the big deal about stray trash on a lunch table you say? As an avid puzzler, I hold those that can complete the Wednesday crossword in the highest esteem. But the Friday? Unfathomable! Each box was neatly filled in, and the methodology was so transparent, with difficult clues answered ever so lightly. The tact with which each piece of this enigma came together makes me question whether this was a mortal, or some machine designed to taunt the longing eyes of crossword connoisseurs. So if you’re out there, email me.

All together: La la la la la . . .  she’s fantastic, made of plastic, microchips here and there. She’s a small wonder, brings love and laughter everywhere! Unless she's a he . . .

hi at the Sports Club, hopeful on craigslist–w4w–34 (sports club LA upstairs)
Date: 2010-04-27, 11:26PM EDT

We’ve said hi a couple times this week, i was with a male friend (friend!) saturday while you were headed to play bball, but was alone tonight. It was pretty crowded tonight and I didn’t have the courage to say more in that setting but I’ve been wanting to talk. You are an african american man, I’m a white brunette. Tonight you were wearing a blue shirt, grey sweats I think. If you see this and are interested, I’d like to talk next time. Please tell me what I was wearing or what time it was so I know it’s you.

So . . . you’re either bisexual or just really dense, lady.

Papayas and Cherry Tomatoes–m4w–18 (Little Rocky Run)

Date: 2010-04-26, 10:41PM EDT

It all started with a homework assignment, I should have known it would turn into something more. For what blossomed into an in-depth conversation about lasagna seemed like only the beginning, back in those innocent min. It’s true, I also, contrary to the culture we live in a rail against today, dislike lasagna. This was a connection I rarely felt, and I hope you felt it too. But alas, there is always a hitch, isn’t there? For you see, I despise cherry tomatoes. Their texture, their taste, what they stand for as a supposed fruit, is not what I support, not now, not ever. For if I know that if I compromise on that fact, then the universe is nothing more then particles.

So if you decide to change your opinion on cherry tomatoes, aim me back.

But what about the papayas? Huh!?


Subscribe to Washingtonian
Follow Washingtonian on Twitter

More>> Capital Comment Blog | News & Politics | Party Photos