This week, everyone’s a little irritable as they trudge through the dog days of August. A thwarted coffee date or a bad day in torts class is enough to send these posters over the edge—or at least to seek catharsis on Craigslist. But sometimes, as a local cop hopes, a hostile encounter can lead to happiness . . . and an amusing Missed Connection post.
Law School–m4w–37 (NW) Date: 2010-08-18, 5:46PM EDT
Law school is horrible people doing horrible things to other horrible people, plus what happens in the cases.
Admissions officers everywhere are jumping to copyright this slogan.
14th Street Bus This Morning–m4w–32 (14th Street Bus) Date: 2010-08-19, 12:07AM EDT
The Setting: Riding the 14th street bus to work this morning.
Me: guy standing up and talking to a fantastic girl who got on the bus at the same time as me
You: girl sitting next to said fantastic girl.
What: After much chatting between me and fantastic girl, fantastic girl said she would disembark bus with me near Metro Center to switch to train for remainder of commute. I mentioned that we could walk to the Metro together. At this point, you interrupted and so helpfully suggested that she instead get off earlier at Farragut North to catch the Blue Line. Thanks to you, the Maestro of the Metro, I lost my chance to invite the fantastic girl to coffee.
He seems more concerned with chewing out the Maestro than finding his potential date. Perhaps it’s not love but spite that conquers all.
Mike–w4m–35 Date: 2010-08-18, 1:44AM EDT
what happened? I thought we might have been starting. . . something, but then. . . nothing. Did you run off with a stripper?
there are certain things, an elvis costello song or garden gnome for example, that make me ache for you in a way that makes me wonder if we’re meant to be apart.
Nothing like a garden gnome to rekindle an old flame.
wading in wonderland–w4m–24 (dc) Date: 2010-08-16, 2:57PM EDT
i followed the talking rabbit, you made it seem like he’d take me to you. and he did but one day i woke up and you were gone, and after only gracing me with your presence long enough to save me from being beheaded by the queen of hearts. the cheshire cat died and you took his place but i still can’t find my way out of this enchanted forest you helped me create. you abandoned a dream that could have come true. but you are just like the red roses, beautiful until you realize they aren’t rich red and have no color at all. i touched the pedal and my fingers were covered in blood red paint revealing the white lying pedals. maybe my name really is mary-ann and i should’ve kept following that talking rabbit and passed by your way without looking back. you are nothing to lose because inside you’re just as empty as that tin man i met years back after i was swept away in that tornado. only you think your heart pumps warm blood but it doesn’t. that beat you hear in your chest is only the sound of cool blood hitting the hollow bottom of your rusting metal heart, but you let the life in you escape. i thought your eyes seemed different when i saw you again. I guess I missed the Wizard of Oz sequel where the Tin Man meets Alice and company.
I arrested you–m4m–27 (close to town) Date: 2010-08-19, 2:26AM EDT
sorry, it’s my job. It was a stupid situation, we both know it, luckily it wasnt anything serious and you were very patient and understanding. ANYWAY, i think we had some cheistry. Hit me up and maybe we can think of something better to do with those handcuffs. Tell me what you were charged with and lets get together. It’s comforting to know that Washington’s finest are serious about keeping an eye on criminals.
Missed Connections: Anger-Management Edition
This week, everyone’s a little irritable as they trudge through the dog days of August. A thwarted coffee date or a bad day in torts class is enough to send these posters over the edge—or at least to seek catharsis on Craigslist. But sometimes, as a local cop hopes, a hostile encounter can lead to happiness . . . and an amusing Missed Connection post.
Law School–m4w–37 (NW)
Date: 2010-08-18, 5:46PM EDT
Law school is horrible people doing horrible things to other horrible people, plus what happens in the cases.
Admissions officers everywhere are jumping to copyright this slogan.
14th Street Bus This Morning–m4w–32 (14th Street Bus)
Date: 2010-08-19, 12:07AM EDT
The Setting: Riding the 14th street bus to work this morning.
Me: guy standing up and talking to a fantastic girl who got on the bus at the same time as me
You: girl sitting next to said fantastic girl.
What: After much chatting between me and fantastic girl, fantastic girl said she would disembark bus with me near Metro Center to switch to train for remainder of commute. I mentioned that we could walk to the Metro together. At this point, you interrupted and so helpfully suggested that she instead get off earlier at Farragut North to catch the Blue Line. Thanks to you, the Maestro of the Metro, I lost my chance to invite the fantastic girl to coffee.
He seems more concerned with chewing out the Maestro than finding his potential date. Perhaps it’s not love but spite that conquers all.
Mike–w4m–35
Date: 2010-08-18, 1:44AM EDT
what happened? I thought we might have been starting. . . something, but then. . . nothing. Did you run off with a stripper?
That’s usually the most logical explanation.
chips–w4m–29 (mount pleasant)
Date: 2010-08-17, 10:10AM EDT
there are certain things, an elvis costello song or garden gnome for example, that make me ache for you in a way that makes me wonder if we’re meant to be apart.
Nothing like a garden gnome to rekindle an old flame.
wading in wonderland–w4m–24 (dc)
Date: 2010-08-16, 2:57PM EDT
i followed the talking rabbit, you made it seem like he’d take me to you. and he did but one day i woke up and you were gone, and after only gracing me with your presence long enough to save me from being beheaded by the queen of hearts. the cheshire cat died and you took his place but i still can’t find my way out of this enchanted forest you helped me create. you abandoned a dream that could have come true. but you are just like the red roses, beautiful until you realize they aren’t rich red and have no color at all. i touched the pedal and my fingers were covered in blood red paint revealing the white lying pedals. maybe my name really is mary-ann and i should’ve kept following that talking rabbit and passed by your way without looking back. you are nothing to lose because inside you’re just as empty as that tin man i met years back after i was swept away in that tornado. only you think your heart pumps warm blood but it doesn’t. that beat you hear in your chest is only the sound of cool blood hitting the hollow bottom of your rusting metal heart, but you let the life in you escape. i thought your eyes seemed different when i saw you again.
I guess I missed the Wizard of Oz sequel where the Tin Man meets Alice and company.
I arrested you–m4m–27 (close to town)
Date: 2010-08-19, 2:26AM EDT
sorry, it’s my job. It was a stupid situation, we both know it, luckily it wasnt anything serious and you were very patient and understanding. ANYWAY, i think we had some cheistry. Hit me up and maybe we can think of something better to do with those handcuffs. Tell me what you were charged with and lets get together.
It’s comforting to know that Washington’s finest are serious about keeping an eye on criminals.
Subscribe to Washingtonian
Follow Washingtonian on Twitter
More>> Capital Comment Blog | News & Politics | Party Photos
Editors' Picks
The 100 Very Best Restaurants in Washington
Bad News for the NFL: John Riggins’ Wife Is a Lawyer
The High-Paid DC Millennials Who Are Using Side Hustles to “Ball Out”
Meet Britt McHenry, the Fox News Star for Millennials
Most Popular in News
“The Handmaid’s Tale” Is Filming on the National Mall and the Photos are Kinda Intense
Washingtonians Are the Third-Worst Drivers in Rain and Snow in the US
The Tommy Show Is Back
How Five Ambassadors From Cold Countries Get Through Winter in DC
The High-Paid DC Millennials Who Are Using Side Hustles to “Ball Out”
February 2019: 100 Very Best Restaurants
Related
A Look Inside One of the Country’s Biggest Vinyl Record Plants
There Are Still Six Confederate Memorials Around DC. How’s That Possible?
“Investment Layoff” Is a Masterpiece of Corporate Euphemism
Secret Service: Man Claimed to Be Jesus and Plotted to Kidnap One of the Obamas’ Dogs
More from News
What These 2020 Candidates’ DC Neighborhoods Tell Us About Them
DC Has a New Esports Team and Its Inaugural Watch Party Was Bonkers
José Andrés Will Present at the Oscars
Remembering DC Music Legend Skip Groff
Q107’s Uncle Johnny Talks About WRQX Getting Sold and the Glory Days of DC Top 40 Radio
Washingtonian Today: Snow News Day
The Tommy Show Is Back
Rebecca Ritzel’s Student Loan Provider Didn’t Seem to Care That She Had Cancer. So She Took Action.