News & Politics

Missed Connections: From Russia With Love Edition

Polite canoers, confused tourists, and one security leak the federal government should consider investigating

This week, it’s a new cast of characters venturing onto the Craigslist missed-connections page. There’s the extremely polite middle-aged man looking to revive a watery connection. To the two San Franciscans cruising for Fourth of July party ideas, might I direct them to a different section of the Washingtonian Web site? And finally, for the win, the star-crossed lovers who put Romeo and Juliet to shame: the possible victim of the recently arrested Russian spy ring. Best of luck to all of those ever-so-misguided missed connections.

Canoeing/Kayaking the Shenandoah–53 (DC/NOVA)
Date: 2010-06-28, 7:33AM EDT
You’ll never see this, I’m sure, but I was very disappointed to not be able to visit with you longer as you were in the kayak and me in the canoe. You seemed like a very pleasant, open and interesting person, and I thank you for your interest in conversation. I was in the canoe with the youth and had leadership responsibilities and had to cut off the conversation a lot more quickly than I would have liked. If the situation would have been different I would have asked your name and offered to take you to dinner sometime, as you seemed to be very engaging. I hope you and your friends had a great time yesterday, and it was very nice to have been able to visit with you for a few minutes.

And I thank you for the most polite and restrained Craigslist missed connection of all time. Leadership responsibilities with the youth must improve one’s manners.

Same place, same time–m4m (GMU—Fairfax)
Date: 2010-06-28, 6:38PM EDT
I was chatting at a table with a colleague of mine and you walked into the same location. We caught one another’s eyes a few times. You weren’t in there long.
I hope our paths cross again soon. Drop me a line and let me know some details.

. . . Like the name of the location?

bens next door. . .prince or mj question–m4w (oj and champagne)
Date: 2010-06-28, 11:19PM EDT
I had a lot, sorry if I was forward about prince and mj. But your comment about your sis was sad but you made me feel bad, which is hard to do.
How about brunch elsewhere soon?

Sample conversation: “Hey—Billie Jean in the raspberry beret! Want to ride in my little red corvette?”
“No. My sister’s in the hospital.”

PNC Columbia Heights teller.–m4w–24 (Columbia Heights)
Date: 2010-06-30, 3:00PM EDT
You work at PNC. You used to work at Fast Eddies. I know this because you just told me, so you can probably figure out who I am. Hit me back, or at least drop some extra change in my account.

If not a date, maybe some slight embezzling?

Date: 2010-07-01, 3:17AM EDT
I know this is not the right place to post this–My friend and I are visiting your city this coming 4th of July weekend and wondering if anyone has any suggestions on any hotspots. We’re two asian guys from San Francisco who would like to have a good time this weekend. Any suggestions is appreciated! 🙂

You’re correct. This is not the right place to post that.

Lonely Gov’t Worker w/ TS/SCI Clearance–m4w–35 (Gov’t)
Date: 2010-07-01, 4:57PM EDT
You were the sultry red-head with the difficult-to-place, slavic-sounding accent. I was the slightly out-of-shape, extremely lonely government worker living (alone!) in the condo out in Herndon, with a top secret level clearance and access to national defense information (about which you so eagerly yet coyly inquired). We’d been running into each other everywhere, all over, really. At the gym, outside my office, jogging past my house every morning. Then all of a sudden, maybe on Friday or so of last week, you were gone. Still hoping to get together sometime and share secrets, as it were. That *was* a euphemism, right?

Every sign points to your sultry redhead being one of the 11 deep-cover Russian agents. I hope with all my heart this is a real post.

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