News & Politics

Missed Connections: Good Manners Edition

Metro disasters, mail-order marriages, and dancing in the produce aisle

It’s a rare week on Craigslist when users show a little courtesy, but this batch of Missed Connections is filled with well-mannered—although often misguided—men and women. An “excuse me” in a craft store or a helping hand during a hellish commute make all the difference. Even a man looking for a wife politely offers compensation. How, uh, romantic!

“Michaels” where creativity happens–42 (Route 1 Laurel )
Date: 2010-09-07, 7:50PM EDT

I was looking at stick on letters you came up, I said excuse me your reply was “your fine.” I should have said “your fine 2” but. . . . We then made it to the register almost at the same time, you purchased a black picture frame. Hope you or one of your friends read this and we fine each other and create something great together.

Michael’s: no longer just for your great-aunt’s scrapbook habit.

Downtown train–m4w–37 (DC)
Date: 2010-09-08, 10:05AM EDT

You were rushing up the escalator at the Dupont Metro this morning wearing a white blouse and business skirt. I was the guy standing in front of you blocking you. When you tapped my shoulder I turned quickly and drenched you with my Starbucks Grande mocha. My efforts to help clean your blouse were seen as too aggressive, but I think you know I was only trying to help. While we were jostling at the top of the escalator your Prada bag was dumped upside down. The bag’s contents went cascading down the escalator past a stream of disbelieving commuters. You swore out loud, retrieved your wallet and phone and stormed off. Did you know I stayed for the next 20 minutes collecting your belongings? Your mascara was smashed but I did manage to collect most of your toiletries, your address book and a bunch of misc. receipts and notes (your IPOD mini screen is cracked but it still plays everything). I’d love to return your items to you. I didn’t see you smile but I bet your face lights up when you do. I work 2nd shift but perhaps we can meet for a late night snack or even a morning coffee, my treat?

This is either the start of a beautiful friendship or another disastrously awkward encounter.

Searching girl for marriage–30 (gaithersburg)
Date: 2010-09-06, 10:05AM EDT

30 year old white male looking for serious girl for marriage (for the papers), compensation offered
if interested, please respond with a little information about you–in which area you live, what you do, interests, family (kids, relationships)
no scammers pls just serious people

Because only serious girls look for a business agreement marriage on Craigslist . . .

You were picking out limes. . .–m4w–40 (Giant Dominion Valley)
Date: 2010-09-05, 7:55PM EDT

You were picking out limes this evening I was buying asparagus. . .I was to chicken to talk to you. . . . . .

I so want to believe this pun was intentional.

Blonde dancing and singing motown Giant Foods Arlington–m4w (Washington Street, Arlington, VA)
Date: 2010-09-03, 11:20PM EDT

Me tall black guy, black t shirt gray shorts, just wanted to say you are a great dancer. 🙂 I wanted to buy humus also, but couldn’t get the nerve up with you standing next to the display.

Nothing like a song-and-dance routine to brighten an otherwise average trip to the grocery store.

AIM?–m4w–28 (Ashburn)
Date: 2010-09-05, 12:07AM EDT

Just lookin to chat on AIM. . .bored dog sitting. E-mail me i’ll send SN.

Middle-schoolers really shouldn’t be playing on Missed Connections.

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