News & Politics

Let’s Give the Wizards Some Midseason Awards

We wrap up the NBA All-Star Weekend by making up some awards of our own.

Who else for MVP but John Wall? Photograph by Flickr user Keith Allison.

It’s the NBA All-Star break, which means it’s time for the Internet to hand out some midseason awards. Seeing as the Wizards won’t be mentioned in any of them, we may as well just make up some of our own.

Most Valuable Player: John Wall
The battle for second place left a bit to be desired.

Rookie of the Year: Shelvin Mack
Of the three rookies in the Wizards’ rotation, only Mack approaches the league average in PER. I wouldn’t mind seeing him and Wall play together from time to time.

Head Coach of the Year: Randy Wittman
Any time there are multiple nominees, you know it’s been a rough half season.

Best Play: John Wall Go-Route
Wall’s dead sprint toward the basket narrowly edges out “ JaVale McGee isolation ten-foot hook shot,” and “ Nick Young waits for somebody to pass him the ball.”

Most JaVale McGee Moment: The Volleyball Goaltend

Behold as JaVale backs up to allow Francisco Garcia free access to the lane before waiting until the ball is in its descent to swat it away with great disdain. JaVale running back on defense while his team is on offense and JaVale throwing himself an alley-oop received strong consideration. 

Most Maligned: Andray Blatche
From the moment he stepped onto the court to introduce himself as “your captain,” it’s been downhill for Dray. His calf injury, while unfortunate, gave him some respite from all of the booing and mockery.

Best Shoes: Nick Young
Who needs a signature shoe when you can wear a never-ending supply of other people’s models.

Worst Shoes: JaVale McGee
Chris Singleton’s Spaldings are pretty fortunate to share the court with shoes like these.

Worst Celebration: Nick Young’s Bow and Arrow
The only way this could be worse is if DeAngelo Hall were doing it.

Quote of the Year (Coach): Randy Wittman’s “Bad Habits” Speech

If you’re a smoker, you ain’t gonna drop those cigarettes the first day, all right? I’ve got to help them kick some of these bad habits that we’re into. That’s all it is. We’ve fallen into playing a way that is not conducive for us to win. So when I see them pull out a cigarette, I’ve got to take it out of their mouth. All right? That’s basically what I’m trying to do.

Often when I exit Verizon Center, I feel like having a cigarette. Possibly because I feel like I got f%#&ed out of my ticket money.

Quote of the Year (Player): Andray Explains It All

Flip is definitely doing his job. I just don’t feel like guys are listening and following behind what he says and what he wants us to do.

That’s the funny thing about Dray. He always means so well.

Quote of the Year (Spectator): The Fan in Phoenix
From Michael Lee’s recap of the Wizards/Suns game . . .

Washington Wizards Coach Randy Wittman was shouting to the referees, hoping to get a response, but he kept being ignored. Suddenly, a fan seated nearby shouted, “Randy, nobody listens to you!”

Wittman looked over his shoulder and shouted back, “You got that right!”

Wittman may be facing the same problems that plagued Flip Saunders, but at least he can joke about it.