Paula Deen’s Declaration of Innocence, Christopher Walken’s Cooking Show, and Fruitcakes at Chick-fil-A

Our tasty roundup of the best stuff we’re reading this week.

Christopher Walken and Paul Deen: On our reading lists this week. Photographs courtesy of Shutterstock.

Season’s Eatings

Because it’s almost Halloween: French fry spiders and zombie peanuts. [BuzzFeed] —Tanya Pai

Also: lots of ways to eat pumpkin. [BuzzFeed]—Jessica Voelker

Ripped From the Headlines

CNN reports that if you want an accurate prediction of who’s really going to win the election, forget pollsters. Instead, look to 7-Eleven, whose informal coffee cup poll is apparently spookily accurate. [Eatocracy] —Sophie Gilbert

In which truffle oil is compared to fake boobs: LA Weekly lists five foods restaurants should never serve again. [LA Weekly] —JV

Not that kind of fruitcake! Chick-fil-A keeps itself in the news. [Eater] —JV

So apparently you’re NOT supposed to get busy on the table while dining in Florida. [Grub Street] —JV

The Science of Stuffing Your Face

Food pairing: It’s all about the chemistry. [NYT] —JV

I’m going to file this under “questions that don’t really need to be answered but that somebody answered anyway”: Popular Science examines why cheese tastes better when it’s melted. [PopSci] —TP

After that terrifying stomach-perforation incident in England, the Salt examines whether there’s actually a safe way to use liquid nitrogen in cocktails—and whether it’s ever actually worth it. [The Salt] —TP

Famous Food Folk

José Andrés has an op-ed of sorts up at CNN’s Eatocracy blog about how chefs can help end global hunger. (Hint: It isn’t through cooking.) “We may feed the few, but we can help feed the many,” he says, which makes very little sense whichever way you shake it. [Eatocracy] ­—SG

Paula Deen is adamant that her only guilt is in being too naive, not in peddling high-fat, high-calorie, high-sugar meals while also endorsing diabetes medication. “I couldn’t understand the haters,” she told the New York Times’ Kim Severson. [HuffPo] ­—SG

Brits have already been in hot water (pun intended) this week for not washing their hands enough, but now there’s worse news: They’re apparently stealing toilet fittings from Jamie Oliver. [Daily Mail] —SG

Cooking With Christopher Walken: the only cooking show I ever want to watch. I especially love how he pronounces the word “culinary.” [Funny or Die] —TP

I like my jokes the way I like my food: salty. The 22 best jabs from the roast of Anthony Bourdain. [Grub Street] —TP