What Kind of Metro Complainer Are You?

During Thursday morning’s miserable commute, patterns emerged among people complaining on Twitter. Please use these convenient categories when complaining on the way home:

1) I say you are out to get me personally, WMATA.

@wmata please tell me why I spend $50/week to get to work and yet y’all are consistently terrible? lower the price or raise the standards

— miw-sher (@_SheIsPoison) January 8, 2015

Making my Twitter public/not protected in hopes that @wmata sees this. It should NOT take me over 1 FULL HOUR to go from VIENNA TO BALLSTON

— Sharon Kim (@sharonkim26) January 8, 2015

Hey, @wmata, can I get a refund for my morning commute…since you made me 2 hours late for work??

— Elissa Blattman (@eblattman) January 8, 2015

@wmata why do you hate your customers?

— robisannoyed (@Robisannoyed) January 8, 2015

2) I will smite WMATA with unflattering comparisons to other geographical areas.

I’m from Miami and I’m smh how @wmata can’t seem to handle usual issues for DC…#MIAmetro has rain/wind plans on lock @unsuckdcmetro

— Danny Navarro (@DannyDmoney) January 8, 2015

DC is the new Tokyo but w/out timeliness “@dianamaas10: @unsuckdcmetro this is the situation at Van Ness #fml @wmata pic.twitter.com/TUfnVY2lKn“

— Deianeira م ي (@al_kahina) January 8, 2015

Fair question: What good is @wmata transport if it breaks down every time the weather is bad? Other cities don’t have this bad a problem.

— Richard B. Rogers (@1995hoo) January 8, 2015

3) I am actually pretty funny.

ZOD: the Phantom Zone can’t hold me forever, Kal-El SUPERMAN: true, but i know a place that can [hands him a WMATA ticket] ZOD: NOOOOOOOO

— Matt Ford (@fordm) January 8, 2015

I think my legs have atrophied. #wmata

— Kim Michael (@kstansbu) January 8, 2015

If your co-workers are missing today, it wasn’t the Rapture, it was the Redline. #wmata

— Rick Stanbough (@MaSp1engineer) January 8, 2015

4) I am keeping track of how much time I have lost.

This train came in, then offloaded, and reversed. Been told downtown far side. Here more than an hour. pic.twitter.com/9xwBDKSLyN

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) January 8, 2015

What normally is a 40 min ride turned into an hour and 40 min ride to work. Get it the fuck together @wmata

— robYn. (@robYnthewoRld) January 8, 2015

Well @wmata, you’re getting better. Yesterday it took 100 minutes to complete my normal 42-minute commute. Today, 90 minutes. #MetroFail

— Joe Pileggi (@joepileggi) January 8, 2015

20 min commute took 1 1/2 hours Wed and 1 hour Thurs #wmata

— Jenny Miller (@MDarcy27) January 8, 2015

It took 20 minutes to go one stop. #wmata

— Jax La Negra (@jax1125) January 8, 2015

Thank you metro 2.5 hours of my life I cannot get back. #wmata

— Thomas Sweatman (@Tom_Sweatman) January 8, 2015

5) I am still your friend, WMATA.

My unpopular opinion: Where I grew up, going *anywhere* required driving. Even on days like today, I’m grateful WMATA lets me go car-free.

— Zach C. Cohen (@Zachary_Cohen) January 8, 2015

We’ve been holding at College Pk for 4 mins due to single-tracking. Operator is keeping the doors closed to keep heat in. Thanks! #WMATA

— Matt’ Johnson, AICP (@Tracktwentynine) January 8, 2015

6) I demand to know where WMATA’s shit is, and why it is not together.

WTF @wmata rails! Plan accordingly & function on time! Get ur sh*t together! It’s Winter. How bout u let ppl kno about delays ahead of time!

— Monica Valladares (@Mony4evr) January 8, 2015

Come one @wmata get your shit together! We’ve been standing here on the Orange line for 20 minutes waiting for a train. It’s 11 degrees!!!!!

— dbroncos78087 (@dbroncos78087) January 8, 2015

Third time in a row there has been delays on #WMATA the DC metro needs to get their shit together #Metrofail

— Carl Mack (@CarlBMack) January 8, 2015

7) I think Washington should lose the Olympics because today’s commute sucked.

I just might hate the IOC enough to want their event ruined by #wmata

— Neil Stevens (@presjpolk) January 8, 2015

DC can’t even handles its own commuters. How is it going to handle the Olympics? Let’s be realistic. #Dc #wmata #dcmetro

— Bella (@MissFabuleuse) January 8, 2015

Real q: how much of a nightmare will @wmata be if DC gets the 2024 Summer Olympics? Nine years to prepare is nowhere near enough.

— Brigid Hogan (@br1gid) January 8, 2015

Delays on every line and broken escalators at both my departure and destination. Oh yeah. DC and #wmata are totally ready for the Olympics.

— Counselor Foyle (@counselorfoyle) January 8, 2015

Andrew Beaujon

Senior editor

Andrew Beaujon joined Washingtonian in late 2014. He was previously with the Poynter Institute, TBD.com, and Washington City Paper. He lives in Del Ray.