What Kind of Metro Complainer Are You?

During Thursday morning’s miserable commute, patterns emerged among people complaining on Twitter. Please use these convenient categories when complaining on the way home:

1) I say you are out to get me personally, WMATA.

@wmata please tell me why I spend $50/week to get to work and yet y’all are consistently terrible? lower the price or raise the standards

— miw-sher (@_SheIsPoison) January 8, 2015

Making my Twitter public/not protected in hopes that @wmata sees this. It should NOT take me over 1 FULL HOUR to go from VIENNA TO BALLSTON

— Sharon Kim (@sharonkim26) January 8, 2015

Hey, @wmata, can I get a refund for my morning commute…since you made me 2 hours late for work??

— Elissa Blattman (@eblattman) January 8, 2015

@wmata why do you hate your customers?

— robisannoyed (@Robisannoyed) January 8, 2015

2) I will smite WMATA with unflattering comparisons to other geographical areas.

I’m from Miami and I’m smh how @wmata can’t seem to handle usual issues for DC…#MIAmetro has rain/wind plans on lock @unsuckdcmetro

— Danny Navarro (@DannyDmoney) January 8, 2015

DC is the new Tokyo but w/out timeliness “@dianamaas10: @unsuckdcmetro this is the situation at Van Ness #fml @wmata pic.twitter.com/TUfnVY2lKn“

— Deianeira م ي (@al_kahina) January 8, 2015

Fair question: What good is @wmata transport if it breaks down every time the weather is bad? Other cities don’t have this bad a problem.

— Richard B. Rogers (@1995hoo) January 8, 2015

3) I am actually pretty funny.

ZOD: the Phantom Zone can’t hold me forever, Kal-El SUPERMAN: true, but i know a place that can [hands him a WMATA ticket] ZOD: NOOOOOOOO

— Matt Ford (@fordm) January 8, 2015

I think my legs have atrophied. #wmata

— Kim Michael (@kstansbu) January 8, 2015

If your co-workers are missing today, it wasn’t the Rapture, it was the Redline. #wmata

— Rick Stanbough (@MaSp1engineer) January 8, 2015

4) I am keeping track of how much time I have lost.

This train came in, then offloaded, and reversed. Been told downtown far side. Here more than an hour. pic.twitter.com/9xwBDKSLyN

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) January 8, 2015

What normally is a 40 min ride turned into an hour and 40 min ride to work. Get it the fuck together @wmata

— robYn. (@robYnthewoRld) January 8, 2015

Well @wmata, you’re getting better. Yesterday it took 100 minutes to complete my normal 42-minute commute. Today, 90 minutes. #MetroFail

— Joe Pileggi (@joepileggi) January 8, 2015

20 min commute took 1 1/2 hours Wed and 1 hour Thurs #wmata

— Jenny Miller (@MDarcy27) January 8, 2015

It took 20 minutes to go one stop. #wmata

— Jax La Negra (@jax1125) January 8, 2015

Thank you metro 2.5 hours of my life I cannot get back. #wmata

— Thomas Sweatman (@Tom_Sweatman) January 8, 2015

5) I am still your friend, WMATA.

My unpopular opinion: Where I grew up, going *anywhere* required driving. Even on days like today, I’m grateful WMATA lets me go car-free.

— Zach C. Cohen (@Zachary_Cohen) January 8, 2015

We’ve been holding at College Pk for 4 mins due to single-tracking. Operator is keeping the doors closed to keep heat in. Thanks! #WMATA

— Matt’ Johnson, AICP (@Tracktwentynine) January 8, 2015

6) I demand to know where WMATA’s shit is, and why it is not together.

WTF @wmata rails! Plan accordingly & function on time! Get ur sh*t together! It’s Winter. How bout u let ppl kno about delays ahead of time!

— Monica Valladares (@Mony4evr) January 8, 2015

Come one @wmata get your shit together! We’ve been standing here on the Orange line for 20 minutes waiting for a train. It’s 11 degrees!!!!!

— dbroncos78087 (@dbroncos78087) January 8, 2015

Third time in a row there has been delays on #WMATA the DC metro needs to get their shit together #Metrofail

— Carl Mack (@CarlBMack) January 8, 2015

7) I think Washington should lose the Olympics because today’s commute sucked.

I just might hate the IOC enough to want their event ruined by #wmata

— Neil Stevens (@presjpolk) January 8, 2015

DC can’t even handles its own commuters. How is it going to handle the Olympics? Let’s be realistic. #Dc #wmata #dcmetro

— Bella (@MissFabuleuse) January 8, 2015

Real q: how much of a nightmare will @wmata be if DC gets the 2024 Summer Olympics? Nine years to prepare is nowhere near enough.

— Brigid Hogan (@br1gid) January 8, 2015

Delays on every line and broken escalators at both my departure and destination. Oh yeah. DC and #wmata are totally ready for the Olympics.

— Counselor Foyle (@counselorfoyle) January 8, 2015

Andrew Beaujon

Senior editor

Andrew Beaujon joined Washingtonian in late 2014. He was previously with the Poynter Institute, TBD.com, and Washington City Paper. His book A Bigger Field Awaits Us: The Scottish Soccer Team That Fought the Great War was published in 2018. He lives in Del Ray.