The well of weird for Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee runs very deep. For instance, he performed eight minutes of standup comedy at DC Improv in 2008 as part of the 15th annual DC’s Funniest Celebrity contest.
What’s more baffling is that Huckabee—whose jokes ranged from layup jabs at other GOP leaders to self-depreciating digs at his own fame (or lack thereof)—won first prize. Maybe the judges found him amusing in the Joe Pesci-in-Goodfellas kind of way.
Below are some choice quotes from the routine, which ended with Huckabee knocking over a Politico sign as he ambled offstage.
– On his reputation: “Honestly, I have no idea why I’m here. They said this is ‘DC’s Funniest Celebrities.’ I don’t live in DC. I’m not funny. And I’m obviously not a celebrity.”
– On staying frugal during his 2008 presidential campaign: “I got to my hotel, and it was so bad that I called my wife and said, ‘Honestly, I’m the only person in this hotel who has sleeves.'”
– On getting quasi-noticed: “[Some people] recognize me and they’re not sure why. They’re not sure if I ran for president or sold them a used car last year. Somebody will come up to me and they’ll say, ‘Are you who I think you are?’ How do I know what they’re thinking? So I just start saying, ‘Most people think I look like Brad Pitt, what do you think?'”
-On getting mistaken for other GOP leaders: “The craziest moment was on a flight out of Atlanta. The guy sitting beside me turned to me and said, ‘Hey, I know who you are. You’re Mitt Romney.'”
-On his Republican colleagues: “Mitt [Romney] had more positions than an underage Chinese gymnast on most every issue. And then there’s Fred Thompson. I heard Fred actually ran. I didn’t see him out there.”
-On getting slighted by John McCain: “We’ve had a great time out there on the campaign trail and I’m wondering everyday how come I’m not still there. I was really hurt, I mean, John McCain didn’t even vet me. It’s okay, he didn’t vet Sarah Palin either, so I guess it’s all right. He did offer a consolation prize. He said, ‘Sorry I didn’t even think of you, but I’ve got a special gift for you: a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.'”