News & Politics

This TikTok Parodying DC and Clarendon Dating Scenes Is Spot On

Consultant bros, Whitlow's, Le Dip—they're all there.

If you’re already deep into DC TikTok, you probably know about the account @marks_picture_diary. But if not, let us introduce you: It’s a TikTok that parodies a certain type of 20- and 30-something’s life in Washington, covering sex, dating, consultant bros, waiting in line at the 14th Street TJs, and the black hole that is Shirlington.

Many of its TikToks are formulated a la Sex in the City, with the show’s theme music playing over a Carrie Bradshaw-esque “I couldn’t help but wonder…” monologue. Some of these focus on DC —trying to get a table at Le Dip without a reservation, Barbour jackets at Dacha—but the most on-the-nose ones are about Clarendon, where it appears the dudes waiting in line to crush Miller Lites at Spider Kelly’s are as plentiful as pink shorts at a Vineyard Vines outlet.

We DMd the guy behind the account, who also stars in them and is seemingly named Mark, but he couldn’t talk to us because he didn’t want to get in trouble with his job. Spoken like a true DC consultant!

But even though maybe-named-Mark wouldn’t chat, we still figured you needed to know about his videos. We rounded up some of our favorites for you below:

@marks_picture_diary

Why does every girl love bar carts? #arlington #clarendon #washington #dc

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

When Mark Met Sally #arlington #clarendon #fairfax #washington #dc

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

One of life’s great mysteries #dc #arlington #clarendon

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

It’s been 4 years and I still don’t really know how to pronounce Dacha #dacha #washingtondc #shaw #clarendon

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

Crisis ensues

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

You know where I post up on Whitlows Thursday’s #clarendon #washington #dc #arlington

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

All roads lead to a townhouse in Alexandria #arlington #clarendon #fairfax #nova #alexandria

♬ Sex and the City (Main Theme) – TV Sounds Unlimited

@marks_picture_diary

Waking up in Fairfax just hits different

♬ original sound – camila

@marks_picture_diary

Never go to Shirlignton for a girl. #arlington #clarendon #fairfax #washington #dc

♬ brandy running and crying – brandy running and crying

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Mimi Montgomery Washingtonian
Associate Editor

Mimi Montgomery joined Washingtonian in 2018. Her work has appeared in Outside Magazine, Washington City Paper, DCist, and PoPVille. Originally from North Carolina, she now lives in Petworth.