Betcha Can’t Actually Eat Any of These
The Lay’s potato chip flavor generator: the gift that keeps on giving. [Multiple sources (all equally amazing)] —Tanya Pai
Let Them Eat Cake, or Kale
Not shocking but still interesting: Extreme dieters are ruining dinner parties. [Observer] —Anna Spiegel
Apparently 2014 is the year we decided cake for breakfast is a diet plan. [Guardian]
—Chris Campbell
Olympic Eating (or Fasting)
Sochi: where the water, if it’s running at all, runs dark yellow. Happy Hunger Games Winter Olympics. [Chicago Tribune] —Benjamin Freed
Yes, media in Sochi arrived to unsanitary and, in some cases, unfinished hotels—but the real story here is that their “nutritious and delicious breakfast” is stranded at Newark International. [Grub Street] —TP
McNews
The new way to guilt your kids: “Finish your ketchup, because there are children in Argentina who don’t have any.” [Esquire] —TP
McVeggie Burgers sound like a noble idea, but I’m sure they’ll find a way to cram 80,000 milligrams of sodium into them. [Wall Street Journal] —CC
Want to supersize that Happy Meal . . . with a bag of heroin? [CNN] —CC
Yogurt? More Like Woe-Gurt
It’s just not Chobani’s year—after being dumped by Whole Foods, the brand also lost its right in the UK to label itself “Greek.” [ABC News] —TP
This Week in Millennial Food Trends
A survey finds that 96 percent of millennials, frugal shoppers that they are, are aware of supermarket brands, and 36 percent of them even buy in-house products frequently. [Supermarket News] —BF
If You Say So
Chocolate-flavored toothpaste sounds massively counterproductive—but the closing joke about Starburst-lacquered pizza would have my friend Kelly intrigued. [Time] —CC
The Subway diet worked for that Jared guy, so obviously the sandwich chain can save our children. [US News] —CC
Indiana Jones made it out of the cave, and apparently so did that boulder. Check out this crazy image of it crushing a vineyard. [The Drinks Business] —CC
