Eating Eyeballs, An Applebee’s Tell-All, Everything About Sriracha: Eating & Reading

Our tasty guide to the best stuff we’re reading this week.

By: Todd Kliman, Ann Limpert, Jessica Voelker, Sophie Gilbert, Marisa M. Kashino, Anna Spiegel

Crime-fighting coffee: Dunkin’ Donuts java helped thwart a robbery. Photograph courtesy of Dunkin’ Donuts.

Ripped From the Headlines

Dunkin’ Donuts employee in Florida is ridiculously awesome, thwarts an in-store burglary by throwing hot coffee at a robber. She also shouts, “Go run on Dunkin’.” Make this woman a brand ambassador, like, now. [HuffPo] —Sophie Gilbert

Looking for more bad news about bees? Grist has more bad news about bees. [Grist] —Jessica Voelker

Bumblebee Tuna recalls several batches of canned fish because of “loose seals,” and I recall that it’s still two long months until Arrested Development season four comes out. [Grub Street] —Tanya Pai

The Chain Gang

Chelsea Welch, the waitress who was fired after posting a receipt on Reddit, shares her lovely experience working at Applebee’s. [The Guardian] —Todd Kliman

A year after her Olive Garden review went viral, Marilyn Hagerty revisits the land of unlimited salad and breadsticks. [Grand Forks Herald] —Ann Limpert

Hot Stuff

Sriracha obsessives, this one is for you. [Bon Appétit] —JV

Fussy Foodie Files

If you’ve ever braved Whole Foods on a Sunday—when it’s basically the seventh circle of hell—then you’ll know this YouTube masterpiece about “Ass Whole Foods” is gospel. (And yet I keep going back—often on Sunday—passing on the “second-class Safeway chicken” to pay extra for my “free-range” bird.) [YouTube] —Marisa Kashino

“Do not underestimate what a pain in the ass it is to serve food from ‘only here, only now’”—a fantastic Outside piece by Rowan Jacobsen about the amazing Willows Inn on Lummi Island in Washington. [Outside] —JV

It’s official: It is absolutely fine to serve your dinner guests takeout food, as long as it’s served on china plates and not out of the carton. At least, so says British etiquette experts Debretts. [Daily Mail] —SG

The Culinary Capital

The New York Times takes a look at dining on the Hill. No, not a snarky look insinuating Hill-dwellers are junk food fiends. An interesting, insidery peek into the lunch rooms and power dining halls of the top politicos. [NYT] —Anna Spiegel

Cola Chronicles

The interesting origins of Coca-Cola—initially made not just with cocaine but also with wine and billed to the public (the 19th century had such lyrical names for things) as Pemberton’s French Wine Coca. [The Atlantic] —TK

Who knew every can of Coke starts in Australia? [Medium] —AL

Reader Rage

If you’ve ever written for the Internet, and received the wrath of Internet-haters, the angry response to New York Post critic Kyle Smith’s angry article will make you feel so much better. [Eater National] —AS

Global Bites

A look at apartheid-era McDonald’s in South Africa, with pics. [Quite Big] —TK

In April, Sotheby’s will be auctioning off a dinner with Ferran Adrià. Why not just do what everybody else does—get a dinner by pretending to “interview” him? [Global Post] —TK

From Maria Popova’s excellent blog, Lore—a bread recipe from Virginia Woolf (?!). In a letter to her lover, Vita Sackville-West, the novelist once confided, “I have only one passion in life—cooking.” [Lore] —TK

See Food

Forget noses and tails and everything in between. If you really want to prove your culinary adventurousness, get ready to munch on some eyes. [NPR] —AL

The title says it all: “13 Creepy Food Faces That Will Haunt Your Dreams.” [BuzzFeed] —AS