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David Chang’s Redskins Aspirations, Macaulay Culkin Sings of Pizza, and One Shamless Publicist: Eating and Reading

A tasty roundup of some of the best stuff we’re reading this week.

David Chang, the Redskins, and steaming bowls of Momofuku Noodle Bar ramen at FedEx. Perfection. Photograph via Shutterstock.

The Redskins enter the food world (and not in a potatoe-y way)

Many Washingtonians think the Redskins need new leadership, including Momofuku empire-builder David Chang. The Virginia-born toque tweets about a takeover. If this means pork belly bao buns for FedEx, all the better. [Deadspin via Eater] —Anna Spiegel

Apparently that tweet wasn’t just fan frustration. Chang explains to the Post that he’s serious. [Washington Post] —Benjamin Freed

If the Redskins were named something less controversial under Chang (say, the Lucky Peaches?) things like Sonic’s racist billboard wouldn’t happen. [Washingtonian] —AS

How NOT to celebrate Christmas

A Philadelphia publicist attempts to trade services for a Christmas Eve dinner for five. Someone is getting coal in her stocking. [Philadelphia Magazine] —AS

Whether or not you think this is horribly depressing, or the future, says a lot about when the robots will take over. Christmas dinner in a can, for gamers too busy to stop for lunch. [Geekosystem] —Sophie Gilbert

Musical pizza

Macaulay Culkin—yes, that Macaulay Culkin—has a Velvet Underground tribute band in which all of the songs are rewritten to be about pizza. [Tumblr] —BF

No one apart from NBC and DiGiorno pizza profited from the Carrie Underwood Sound of Music. [NPR] —SG

Defining manliness … apparently

Brad Pitt eats food in every movie he’s in. Or it surely seems like it. But he’s not manly when he does it, so sayeth Esquire. [Esquire] —Chris Campbell

Here are 9 “popular” beers that Americans aren’t drinking any longer. Perhaps could it be that they suck? [USA Today] —CC

Faux foods, and food faux pas

If swaddling your baby like a burrito wasn’t enough, now you can actually dress him or her up like one, too. [Time] —SG

I remember in elementary school getting yelled at for wanting to drink chocolate milk. I blame those adults for me not making an Olympic team. [Quartz] —CC

I’m tired of people telling me I’m eating my foodstuffs wrong. It’s just a goddamn apple, OK? And the seeds gross me out. But here are 10 more, anyway (I disagree with the strawberry one). [Huffington Post] —SG

Most interesting/gross/heartbreaking food thing you’ll read ever: “Turns out your feet and your favorite cheese share more than just a smell—they actually hoard similar microbial populations, too.” Also, a biologist made cheese from Michael Pollan’s belly button crud. [Wired] —BF

I’m starting to worry for a world that thinks the 3D printing of food is a better investment of time and resources than, say, anything else in the world. [Stuff] —CC

Hot-umentary

Here’s a trailer for a documentary about everyone’s favorite cult condiment, Sriracha. [Eater National] —AS

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