Culinary Culture
The former owner of Breadline and the once-excellent Marvelous Market says to stop getting excited because Washington is no great food city, and obtusely dismisses the bar scene outright. Infuriating. [Washington Post] —Jessica Voelker
Just like DC’s neighborhoods, its condiment, mumbo sauce, is getting gentrified. Or, as the kids would say, “swaggerjacked.” [WaPo] —Tanya Pai
No rubbery chicken breasts and soggy green beans here. Ruth Reichl recaps the best wedding meal ever. [Ruth Reichl] —JV
The Post explores the stranger-than-fiction tale of the United States raisin reserve and the farmer who fought back. [WaPo] —TP
Too few cooks spoil the Bronx (but mostly Manhattan). [NPR] —Sophie Gilbert
The Scary Stuff
Are you a vegetarian? Then watch this disgusting video made by a Golden Corral employee and feel good about your choices. [ABC News] —Marisa Kashino
International Dining Letdowns
Well, this is disappointing. [WaPo] —MK
The Guardian compares the new London Shake Shack and Five Guys to local burgers and isn’t impressed. “Sure, it’s 100 percent Aberdeen Angus, grass-fed in Scotland, but what’s the point if that ends up as an anaemic patty in dire need of charring?” [Guardian] —SG
Critical Mass
People who spend hours Yelp-ing may need more personal advice than a how-to on writing good reviews, but hey, every little bit helps. Critic Hanna Raskin publishes her own guide [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel
This is a very beautifully written review of writer Kate Christensen’s memoir, described as a meditation “on food and loneliness.” [NPR] —SG
The Cronut Corner
I have an ongoing fascination with what I just decided I’m calling the Crosades (get it?), and if you do too, you’ll want to read Dominique Ansel’s account of a week in his life. Dude works some insanely long days. [Huffington Post] —TP
Speaking of the c-word, BuzzFeed has a recipe for how to make your own. If you try this, please e-mail me. [BuzzFeed] —TP
Weird Science
There’s nothing sadder than yellow broccoli. Thankfully, an Ivy League university is on it. [New York Times] —SG
Liquid Culture
You know you want to play it: the office drinking game! [McSweeney’s] —AS
Despite label descriptors you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley, Bill Daley says don’t be intimidated when your nose won’t deliver. [Chicago Tribune] —JV
Rare and Raw
Talk about a rare catch. (See what I did there?) [Young & Hungry] —MK