Oh, my. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, the quest to not be alone on the day and night that celebrates romance has begun in earnest. However, a casual surf of the Craigslist personals shows some peculiar ideas of what’s romantic. A married man whose wife will be away on business is “just looking for a good time.” A couple wants a threesome. A man offers a “special gift” to one lucky woman—depending on how pretty she is—while another man advertises his huge . . . heart. And, may we ask, just what do handcuffs have to do with Valentine’s Day? [Ed. note: All ads appear below with original spelling and punctuation.]
This professional, advanced degree, very physically fit, not married and older gentleman
is seeking a younger girl to spoil on Valentine’s Day. I do not seek or expect sex.
I do have an interest in a not so everyday lifestyle that I would ask if you might
consider (no sex).
I will be in town Tuesday night February 12th.
Interested in an early Valentine’s Day rendezvous?
Drinks? Dinner? Handcuffs?
I’m up for anything!
I’m visiting a friend for a few days. I’ll be in town Thursday evening, would love to have a Valentine’s day date :)
In a nutshell, I’m awesome, and I like a good laugh. All I’m looking for is someone to hang out with for the evening, someone who’s funny, cool, outgoing, spontaneous, and I won’t complain if you happen to be easy on the eyes.
Send me an email, a little summary, and a photo and I’ll do the same.
Thanks and gig ‘em... :P Yes, I’m from Texas.
This is not a missed connection of course because you have my number. I just know
you are not going to call. I don’t think you will read this, but in case you did I
would like to say please call me .. I would like to take you out this Valentine’s
I don’t get out enough I spend most of my day in the house. I donto want to be in
the crib on the 14the I want a date. I don’t care what you look like just be able
to have a conversation and be honest. Check me out and I hope you like I’m tall dark
and handsome can relate with anybody. Email me and pls leave a pic.
im hella bored lol.. im just tryna hang out and have fun.. I had actually met someone
off here that i eneded up liking but he turned out to be like the rest of the a**holes
and jerks and players in this game we call life smh.... now im dateless for valentines
day!!!! so lets have some fun. 420+++ ski++++ sexy passable chocolate ts here, 5’7
130 pounds... (; serious inquiries only..
I don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s day! I want to go out to dinner and treat
a lady out to a terrific evening :) I’m 5’11, caucasian with dark brown hair and green
eyes. I’m a college graduate and just began working at a local radio station (but
I do have Thursday off!) and haven’t had much of a chance to socialize and get to
meet any new people in the area. If you are looking for a date for this Valentine’s,
send me a message and let’s see where this goes! I’ll trade pics if you send one and
will also answer any questions you might have :P
My wife is away on business this week. I will be lonely this valentine’s day without her.
Looking for someone around my age looking for a nice dinner this Thursday and some good conversation.
Just looking for a good time
Well valentines day is coming up and i am seeing who all has any good ideas for plans...I just moved here from Florida and I’m looking to see if any woman or women want a rose and some entertainment for the night...Im open to all suggestions you might have and I can even add a few of my tricks in there along the way. Id love to hear back with your emails...please at least tell me alittle about what your likes and dislikes are towards the valentine’s season:)
on your response, I can provide you with a few photos if you wish to see.
Thanks and hope to talk soon,
The Super Bowl is a monster event, and for that reason it has an outsize emotional impact. Not only are there the passionate vows of loyalty to a particular team, but also a largely media-generated message that no one should be alone on Super Bowl Sunday—no matter what. Football fans bond over the primal event with a binge of drink and food, howling at the television, high-fives, and chest bumps. To be fair, non-fans also find comfort with each other in making an anti-Super Bowl statement. PBS, anyone?
The point is there’s a drive to connect. What does that mean to us? Easy: an excuse to jump into that Superdome of beguiling human expression known as the Craigslist Personals. We scanned “missed connections,” “strictly platonic,” “misc romance” and “casual encounters” for samples of the searching human voice, eager for contact that related—in one way or another—to the Super Bowl. To get our balance back, we ended with “rants and raves” and found, well, who was to blame for the power outage.
Here are our faves, including a few from Baltimore because, after all, it was their night.
I know this is a long shot, but here it goes. You’re a tall and handsome black guy named Sean. You delivered my dominos pizza and food tonight (Super Bowl night). You were very nice to me, gave me a free soda, and asked me if I watch the game, but I’m from Europe and told you I only watch soccer when it comes to sports. You smiled and shook my hands. If you read this or deliver in the Brookland area please hit me up.
you were wearing red shirt and supporting Ravens.. I didn’t get chance to talk to you but you look so cute.. I hope you can find this message..
we talked in line yesterday about 6p... you are going to the super bowl party at your sister in laws.. you are a pediatric nurse that drives a bwm suv... i THINK its mt washington hosptial or george washington hospital... im the army guy that was really into you.. probably a long shot but you never know...
Super Bowl Sunday: Wish we could have stayed longer at the gym. Next time will you join me for a Pinkberry smoothie?
I know this is a shot in the dark, and I’ve never used craigslist before other than buying furniture, but this is the first way I thought about when trying to locate you after the game was over and I could not find you. I think you are extremely beautiful, with a great smile and a great sense of humor. I really wanted to at least give you my number so we could see each other again after rioting in the streets after the RAVENS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!! Go Ravens!!!!!
By Carol Ross Joynt
Within hours, half the town will be headed one way or the other for the Memorial Day weekend. While some people will just stay home and enjoy the backyard barbecue, thousands of others will be headed to area beaches. If you are a veteran of this trek, we don’t need to tell you about the beach traffic. To avoid the nightmare, these rules still hold: Go early or late, and pack your patience. For some beach lovers, the trip is extra stressful due to a fear of crossing the Chesapeake Bay Bridge (as our article from August explored). The bridge’s website lists phone numbers drivers can call for assistance; they will be referred to private companies that provide a crossing service.
For some, the only fear is of being alone during the long holiday. That’s why there’s the Internet, right? We checked in with Craigslist to sample the postings seeking some beach action.
[Ed. note: The posts appear below with the original spelling and punctuation.]
Craigslist is a catchall for modern society’s wants and needs, where users can find everything from used bed sheets to luxury apartment rentals. However, we’re of the mind that some requests are better left offline—or at least out of the Missed Connections section. Where most are looking for love, some posters this week are looking for fashion tips and ways to avoid bad luck. Perhaps we need an intervention to remind the public of what this section is for.
True Love (Fairfax)
Date: 2010-12-14, 8:15PM EST
You opened it. Good luck. Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they love you. You will get the shock of your life tomorrow a good one if you break the chain you will be cursed with relationship problems for the next 2 years. Karma if there is someone you once loved or still do and cant get them off of your mind re-post this in another city within the next 5 minutes its amazing how this stuff works. If you truly miss someone a past love and cant seem to get them off of your mind then re-post This in a different city
Chain letters on Craigslist? Really? Although by posting it in this column, we’re probably perpetuating the problem.
This week, it’s a new cast of characters venturing onto the Craigslist missed-connections page. There’s the extremely polite middle-aged man looking to revive a watery connection. To the two San Franciscans cruising for Fourth of July party ideas, might I direct them to a different section of the Washingtonian Web site? And finally, for the win, the star-crossed lovers who put Romeo and Juliet to shame: the possible victim of the recently arrested Russian spy ring. Best of luck to all of those ever-so-misguided missed connections.
Craigslist is baffling: There are cellphones for sale, misfiled under the electronic section. The jobs page is riddled with headshot scams. And the Missed Connections posts often ignore their basic purpose and become requests for drinking game rules, dating advice, and economics discussion. I guess when you meet the pajama-clothed Civil War enthusiast you’ve always dreamed of, you get a little addled.
1986 yearbook? (Near Dupont)
Date: 2010-07-05, 3:26AM EDT
Hey, I found a 1986 yearbook tonight. Boston College High School. The name of the book is the Renaissance. I don’t know why you’d be walking around with this or how you could lose it in a bush, but you were and you did. In any case, I found it. I’ll likely turn it into a drinking game. So message me if (1) it’s yours and you can prove it through an e-mail or (2) you want to play a drinking game with an old yearbook. You must e-mail me with some good rules.
A yearbook tossed into a bush late at night? Sounds like it was already being used in a drinking game.
Many posts on Missed Connections beg the question “Why?” Couldn’t you just have asked for her number? Couldn’t you just have slipped him yours? But sometimes there’s a good reason to retreat to Craigslist, such as fear of pepper spray. This week, Washingtonians take the cheaper approach to Match.com, misuse punctuation, and (we hope) share elongated stares.
Female Walking Cell Phone (King Farm - Rockville)
Date: 2010-07-13, 10:51PM EDT
Attractive female wearing an oversized shirt taking an evening walk around king farm around 10pm, I drove next to you and said ‘You’re pretty attractive’ and u said “Thank you!” Don’t ever think you’ll read this but if you exercise in the area hit me up. Reply to me as to what type of car I was driving :)
The specificity of this post is refreshing. If you only eat and shop in the area, don’t even bother making contact.
Orange Line this morning - m4w - 27 (Clarendon)
Date: 2010-07-14, 11:25AM EDT
Saw you on the Orange Line headed downtown this morning, presumably bound for work. It was after 9:30 and I assume you were running late, but you didn’t look particularly worried. I guess I would describe you as bemused and bewitching, with the playfully confident aura that, in my experience, often comes from possession of law enforcement-grade pepper spray. I mean, you seemed to enjoy a little low intensity, non-verbal flirtation while commuting, but I bet you’re equally happy to douse the faces of overly aggressive metro suitors with a weaponized incapacitating agent. That’s probably why I resisted the urge to bid you fair morning and ask for your number. I am now just chock full of rue over the whole thing. Oh, you were wearing a white blouse, but for some reason I feel like black is really your color. As for me, well, if you check these regularly you know the drill.
Maybe if you stop insisting that women wear different-color blouses, you’ll have fewer experiences with law-enforcement-grade pepper spray.
To post on Craigslist Missed Connections, you have to cling to a certain belief in destiny. You weren’t merely two ships passing in the night; you belong together. This week’s lovelorn know that those winks implied more than casual interest. They hint at an upcoming lifetime of moonlit walks on the beach, mutual blood donations, joyful stops at the premium gas pump, and nostalgia for arcade games from the ’80s.
One of the nice things about online advertisements is that you don’t have to pay by the word. However, you wouldn’t know this judging fromn this week’s best missed connections. These Craigslisters are pithy and to the point. They do not wax romantic about the luminescent colors of that girl’s dress flowing in the breeze. In fact, why even mention a color at all? Just buy a guy a kayak already, gosh.
You cruised me Sunday morning in my ‘65 MB SL on 17th St - m4m - 56 (dc)
Date: 2010-07-26, 7:15AM EDT
You were a cute young guy, dark hair, shorts and t-shirt crossing 17th St. (around Church St.)this morning as I was coming down in my 1965 Bordeaux colored MB 230SL. It was probably the car, not me that you kept looking at, but if not, let me take you for a ride in it. IF YOU ARE JUST INTERESTED IN CARS, I also have two other MB’s convertibles and 3 other cars as well. Let’s go for a ride! If you don’t see this, anyone else want to take me up on the ride...
So the only way to see all six cars is if you’re NOT interested in the driver?
Megabus redhair - m4w - 24 (Bus from philly)
Date: 2010-07-27, 8:44PM EDT
I know not her name. Red hair. Education vocation. I am tall. Left in a hurry. Email.
I know not your name. Incapable of full sentences. Possible nine-year-old . . . or Ernest Hemingway. No chance.
After awhile, Craigslist Missed Connections tend to blend together. They all seem to involve flirtatious glances on the Orange Line, small talk in an elevator, and admiring stares at the gym. This week, Washingtonians look for love in (slightly) less-obvious places—Panera Bread, a laundry room. The lesson? When looking for love in unusual places, you might just find a philosophical companion.
panera bread–cute cute cute–m4w (arlington panera bread)
Date: 2010-08-02, 12:13AM EDT
All because of you, today was a mighty fine day!
While exactly who you are, I can not say
But the total package of YOU that came my way
Made this day, today, a mighty fine day!
You are my missed connection
Hoping I am yours too
Suffering from a misconception
until I hear from you!
Brown skin, like mine, but somewhat darker
we both had laptops and company to bother
you were in the comfy seat, i was at the table
focusing on my computer work, i was not able!
but still in deed, i have to say
that pretty smile of yours . .made today, this day, a mighty fine day!
This is sweet, but the English teacher in us gives the poem an F due to a lack of order or precision in the rhyme scheme. Step up your game, Panera eater.