Missed Connections: For Richer or Poorer Edition

Small-time gold diggers, mutual stalking, and advertising turned real By Mollie Reilly

Comments () | Published December 14, 2010

In Washington, power is currency—at least that’s what the Real Housewives and Washington powerbrokers want us to believe. But as one charming young woman on Craigslist shows us this week, sometime nothing is worth more than a big wallet. Also this week, an ode to a lost set of keys, a yearning for glory days on the football field, and a take on Verizon’s latest ad scheme.

To the boy at the Wachovia ATM - w4m - 18 (Rockville)
Date: 2010-09-22, 3:49PM EDT

i saw you withdraw 300 dollars. i didn’t look at your pin or anything, but i know you’re rich, and i liked the band tshirt you were wearing. you should hit me up, i’d like to get to know you.

She also promises to love him till death, or dollar signs, do them part.

You took a picture of my car? - m4m - 27 (Northern VA)
Date: 2010-09-21, 10:28PM EDT

I think you followed me out to my car and took a picture as I was leaving yesterday evening.

Who is stalking whom in this situation?

It is crucial that we meet again! - 34 (A train somewhere, during a Verizon commercial)
Date: 2010-09-19, 5:53PM EDT

You were on a train and I was outside the train, waiting for another train, when inspirational music started and we both became part of a Verizon cell phone commercial. As the commercial that filmed us both indicated, and as the inspirational music engulfed us, I instantly electronically changed my ticket, hopped aboard your train, and sat across the aisle from you.

It turns out that we will have kids and that one of them will be President of the United States, all because of the telecommunication abilities that Verizon provides. It is critically important that we meet and start this relationship, because if we don’t, who knows what will happen to the presidency of the future. If we miss this opportunity, I will have to find Doc Brown and the Delorian [sic] and go back in time and change things, but that’s really complicated, and I’d really, really rather avoid that.

It’s refreshing to see a little intentional humor in a Missed Connection every now and then. It is a silly commercial, isn’t it?

Crystal at the game - m4w - 28 (McKinley Tech HS)
Date: 2010-09-20, 9:15PM EDT

Hey, I met you at a football game the other night. What happened?

Ten years later and girls are still eluding you back on the old stomping grounds? Buddy, I think it’s time to move on.

Gone Forever - 23 (POTOMAC MILLS MALL)
Date: 2010-09-19, 12:09PM EDT

Honda Keys with Orange Clip
You came and you went
i’m sure some kid threw you into the gutter
lost right behind the potomac mills amc theaters
reward if found
it was a good run my clanky friends

Bonus points for innovative use of the Missed Connections forum.