June 26, 2007 @ 11AM

Just don't get your expectations up too high, okay?

That's a pretty high bar.

But I think the place you're looking for is Cuba de Ayer, in Burtonsville. The black beans are terrific, for one — and that's critical for any good Cuban meal. I also like the garlic shrimp, the chicken soup, the lechon de asado (Cuban pork roast), and the tres leches cake.

The Cubano is good, not great, and some of the dishes are a bit too salty for their own good, like the picadillo and the ropa vieja.

And although you might not guess, to judge by the hodgepodge of shops and restaurants around it, it's a good-looking spot, done up with beautifully framed pictures of old Havana and painted a dramatic blood red.

Sounds like a fun day trip.

I wish I could be more help in the way of eating possibilities, but it's been a few years since I've been out there.

Choggers? 

What can I say? I love sharing.

I mean, to me, sharing IS eating. I love family-style dining, love dim sum, love a giant tapas party, with plates in constant motion. 

Think about it: breaking bread is one of the most intimate, most elemental, things you can do with another person.
And what is breaking bread, really, but sharing bread?

Most of my happiest moments with food involve sharing. For years, my wife and I didn't like eating sushi with a group of friends, or eating sushi alone. To us, it was the ultimate in shared experience, a genuinely romantic experience, one that would force us to slow us down and eat and enjoy.

Even now that I'm in the role of critic, I generally dislike eating out with people who are unwilling to exchange tastes. It dampens the pleasure of being out.

So, sorry: You've got the wrong guy. 

First things first: Happy birthday to your father! 80 is a big, big deal.

Now, if I were you, I would ring up a place called Desserts by Gerard — 301-839-2185. It's one of the best-kept secrets in the area, a tiny, two-stool bakery in a faded strip mall in Oxon Hill.

Don't get your hackles up.

As I wrote a couple of months ago, "The quality of the work, at its best, exceeds most of what you can find in the fashionable precincts of Upper Northwest and the tony inner-ring suburbs of Virginia."

The owner and chef is Gerard Huet, whose resume includes a stint at Jean-Louis at the Watergate from 1987-1990 — only the most famous, most distinguished restaurant in the city at that time.

The prices are astonishing: A gorgeous 10-inch custard berry tart will set you back just $15.95. A textbook strawberry shortcake that can easily serve eight to ten costs $32.95.

For the rest of you, I'd make a trip out just for the superb raspberry tart. 

Yeah, just like Ten Penh offers Thai food.

If people are homesick for something, I don't think you send them to a slick fusion spot, the kind that takes the familiar, base flavors and spins them out into somewhat unrecognizable (albeit artful) conglomerations.

A Miamian homesick for Cuban is already going to be skeptical about a good, unassuming hole in the wall up north.

There are other places you could go for Cuban cooking in the area — including Cubano's in Silver Spring, which I think is too high-priced and fancied-up for what it is, and Cuban Corner, in Rockville, whose food, in my experience, has been heavy and a little greasy. 

I like Cuba de Ayer the most.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who ever told you jackets and ties were "mandatory"? That's 1789, the proper, proud, fusty Georgetown restaurant, not the casual, freewheeling, adventurous Farrah Olivia. You saw people wearing jeans because that's the dress code, such as it is. (And really, what's wrong with jeans?)

As for the rest of your experience, I'll say this: Yes, it does sound as though the service you got that night was less than fantastic. But here's the thing: You had your chance to tell management, and maybe set things right (either that night, or in the future) and you didn't seize it.

Problems happen all the time, in this or any other business; and those problems can't just be excused away. But it's how a place deals with the problems that counts most.

This is tricky, I understand. A lot of people are unwilling to confront a manager on what is supposed to be a nice, relaxing night out with family.

So maybe a letter to the owners, to let them know? This is, after all, the hospitality industry. Their job is to try to make you happy. 

Can't do that, unless they know it's a problem. 

I say it, too: Share away!

And thanks for chiming in this morning, anonymous restaurateur from Silver Spring. 

How to Build a Life with a Lemonade Stand. Neat sound.

(Sorry, folks. I've been grooving to the music on Justin's website for the last few minutes — www.justintrawick.com … And no, I'd never heard of him before popping open this question. Kinda reminds me a little of G Love and Special Sauce, if just a touch folkier.) 

Lemonade, Special Sauce … and back to food.

I'm no fan of Tabaq, although I do like the terrific view upstairs — it gives you a great sweep of the city.

If it's good eats you're after — and not just a place to drink and catch up and find yourself among a crowd — then I'd rather send you to Coppi's Organic or Etete, also on U St. Or to Oohhs & Aahhs, which has just started serving chicken and waffles from midnight to 4 a.m. It'd make a great post-show "snack."

Right on! I like the way you think, Alexandria.

It's ironic, no, that foie gras has come under so much scrutiny but bottled water continues to get a free pass?

The H20versell — which, by the way, was the coinage that won our online neologism contest last summer — shows no signs of flagging.

I wish restaurants would just give it a rest, please. And I say that as someone who really does like a cool glass of sparkling water during a meal, especially with rich, intricate food.

It's the sales job that I don't like, the assumption that bottled water is the only reasonable call for diners of real discernment.

Sorry, I can't offer any restaurant advice.

(I can, however, hope that you don't get taken to the cleaners when you're out there — and not by the rigged system of the casinos, but by your girlfriend!)

Choggers? Anybody have any mid- and lower-end Vegas eating suggestions?

(For some reason, this posting has me thinking of one of my favorite movies, Albert Brooks's "Lost in America," and the scene where Brooks discovers that his wife, Julie Haggerty, in the middle of the night, has gambled away their entire "nest egg" at the casino — the money that was going to sustain them as they dropped out of society a la  "Easy Rider."

(Brooks has a classically Brooksian meltdown. He explains the "principle of the nest egg," and forbids her to use the words "nest" and "egg" ever again.

("From now on, birds live in ROUND STICKS!!! For breakfast, you will have THINGS over easy!!!!")

Where do you like to eat?

I'd say find a restaurant whose food you want to learn to make yourself, and volunteer your services. 

I understand his frustration, sure. But don't know that I'd go so far as to say they're legitimate complaints.

Restaurants are in the business of pleasing people. Keep the people happy, and they reward you with their business.  

Is sharing plates that commonplace these days among customers that a restaurant can't learn to handle a little extra workload for a few tables a shift?

Thanks for responding, Heather.

I appreciate it. 

Lots of options, here. The nabe is booming.

There's lots of good eating (Minh's, Ray's the Steaks) but I think Eleventh Street might be the place you're looking for — a stylish lounge for hanging out, a youngish crowd, small plates.

But see, the guy doesn't want to come home broke. And there's are all way, way out of his range — I mean, L'Atelier has appetizers — appetizers — that cost $42.

(For some reason, I'm hearing Allen Iverson in my head right now: "Practice. We're talkin' practice. Practice. Not a game — practice.")

Well, I'm going to have to excuse myself from this one, now. I wasn't there; I can't really know.

Heather Ouattara, the owner, has asked that you contact her directly, and I'd encourage you to take her up on it and see what she's willing to do to make amends.

I hear you — I kept thinking "Cheesecake Factory" as I read your comment. You could feed a small village off of one of those plates.

But see, I think that sharing is desirable even when the plates are teeny. It's food. And food is communal, a way for people to connect.

Well, it all depends on the restaurant.

But yes, sometimes that's all it takes.

It helps if you've taken a couple of classes, but a passion for something, an enthusiasm for hard work, a willingness to learn … these are things that restaurants are eager for. As long as you are not also burdened with a sense of entitlement, which in this case amounts to expecting to be paid, and expecting to start off at the best of the best.

Give it a shot, huh? And let us know how things turn out, okay?

That's all, folks.

I'm off to lunch, which I most definitely will be sharing.

Be well, eat well, and let's do it again next week at 11 …