TGIF, Washington! It’s been a long week of unrequited romance. To help you make it to the weekend, we’ve got Craigslist’s very best: From underage girls trying to pick up men in suits to the guy who thinks the girl reading Nietzsche on the metro is an angel… or a figment of his imagination.
Monday 5/25 – the WiFi wasn’t on at Tryst – m4w – 36 (Tryst, Adams Morgan)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2009-05-27, 7:42PM EDT
You came into Tryst on Memorial Day afternoon (2ish?) looking for WiFi, and happily scored a seat on a sofa against the wall about midway back. I was sitting in one of the big chairs next to you working on my laptop. You asked about the WiFi, and when I said it seemed like the WiFi wasn’t on, you were annoyed because you’d called ahead the day before to ask and they’d said it would be on, and had spent 30+ minutes on the bus getting down here.
You asked me to watch your laptop (in some kind of leather sleeve it looked like) while you went and asked about the WiFi, and upon being told it wasn’t on on holidays either, you quickly packed up and left while mentioning you didn’t yet have WiFi at home and getting online was the entire point of your trip down to Tryst. I commiserated with you on now facing the long bus ride home and the pointless waste of time, and you said you’d just take a cab home.
If I’d been a bit faster on the uptake, I would have offered to buy you a beer. So how about one sometime in the future?
Sounds like the internet is not the only thing she didn’t connect with.
I dug your shoes – w4m (DC Metro Area)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2009-05-28, 2:24PM EDT
We met on a professional level and I found you intriguing. Plus I dug your shoes. I think it would be fun to get to know you.
I feel a little ridiculous because this is so inappropriate, but wishful thinking has gotten the better of me.
You think it would be fun to get to know him? Sooo inappropriate.
Missed connection in the Quincy Library.. – w4m – 29 (Arlington)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2009-05-28, 3:19PM EDT
You ate your lunch on the bench outside, just before 3 Pm. I walked by . You looked. I looked. Then you walked by when I was sitting at a table, and we both looked at each other; you went into the quiet room. I think you are very handsome! You should have come and say “hello” … I hope you read this. If yes, tell me what I was doing…or just come and say”hi”; I am still here
Library romance gives new meaning to “whispering sweet nothings.”
Elephant and Castle Downtown – w4m – 20 (Downtown – Elephant and Castle)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2009-05-28, 12:29PM EDT
Saw you all at Elephant and Castle last night. Us = three girls drinking beers inside at table. You guys – a bunch of you in suits at standing table. Approached us just as we were leaving — headed to rent. Wanted to hang out with you all but had to run and you all were a little late on the uptake.
doubt anyof you will find this but worth a shot!
Hey Elephant & Castle, you might want to check IDs!
angel in a flowing, blue dress – m4w – 25 (Orange Line)
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2009-05-27, 11:23PM EDT
We smiled at each other in the station and on the train, I asked if I could sit next to you.
We sat together in silence; immersed in our books. Several times I tried to talk – but could not produce the words.
You were radiant with your long, blond hair and gorgeous eyes that matched your bright blue dress. One part of me thinks you were an angel or a muse – random women are just usually ever *that* enchanting.
What were you coming home from that were you wearing such a spectacular dress? And reading, of all things, Nietzsche?
The other part of me thinks you weren’t real. I hope you prove me wrong and respond.
Maybe she wasn’t real? Cue “Twilight Zone” music.