Missed Connections: Social Networking Edition

Over the last few years, Facebook has become deeply embedded in our society. Words such as “unfriend,” “tag,” and “wall” pop up in everyday conversation. However, as one Craigslist user shows in a hilariously overdramatic post, the famed social network may be a little too important to some people’s lives. Also this week, a harrowing Metro ride, pretentious hipsters, and age-inappropriate hairdos.

Lovely blond on the red line to l’enfant this morning–m4w–32 (Red Line)
Date: 2010-11-29, 2:45PM EST

Just prior to 9am. You were standing near the doors heading south on the red line and exited at L’enfant. I was seated facing you with big headphones on and made eye contact a few times. Unfortunately there were too many people between us and I lost you among the rushed masses as we both exited at L’enfant. There’s probably a 0.01% chance you see this/ realize this is for you, but if so, lets get together and sing Christmas Carols. We can chat and have tea first to ready our vocal cords.

There are a lot of problems with this post, not the least of which is that the Red Line is the only one that doesn’t stop at L’Enfant.

Chicken Out in Mclean Saturday–37 (mclean)
Date: 2010-11-28, 3:57PM EST

You were in line behind me, my daughter and my friend on Saturday. You were picking up an order for take out. You have the most captivating eyes. I had pigtails and a hat
Was disappointed we never meet again.

🙁

We have a hunch that it might have something to do with wearing pigtails at age 37.

Children of the Corn Metro Ride 11/28–w4m (FedEx Field–Franconia)
Date: 2010-12-01, 7:42PM EST

You and your friend shared an insane Metro ride with my friend and me. I totally respect the whole marriage thing, but just wanted to let you know that you are really attractive.

Not so compelled by the romantic connection here. But what in the world happened on this horrific Metro ride?

tryst (0700)–23 (25th st.)
Date: 2010-11-29, 3:44AM EST

i wanted to continue the conversation on science and method and the ethical dimensions of aesthetic expression in the new physics. but you had to run. i left shortly too. i bring something to distract myself while i down an espresso, but i don’t study in east-coast cafes. they’re just not the same.

so what it amounts to : i was disappointed we didn’t get a chance to discuss henri jules poincaré.

Anyone surprised that this happened at Tryst? Didn’t think so.

Had to block you from FB. . .sorry :(–m4w–41
Date: 2010-12-02, 2:25PM EST

I’m sorry, but I had to block you from facebook, H. It just hurt too much to see you as a ‘person you may know’ even after you rejected my friend request. I should’ve known better, really. And to see your comments to our mutual friends . . .your exuberant comments to them, while we remain strangers. And your response to my message . . .it’s too much for me. Even after all this time, it still hurts so deeply, and I’m afraid it always will. I’ll always be alone for the rest of my life. I only wanted you. I wish you could’ve had more patience with me and understood me better. I fully understood you and was communicative, but you broke down altogether and left me for dead. I am dead, really. I died the day you turned your back on me. I’m only going through the motions to provide for my child and survival. I’ll always love you . . .the deep pain reminds me of that . . .and at least there’s that to keep reminding me that I’m alive and still capable of love. But only for you. I only wanted you, and to be a part of your life and your son’s life. I wanted to share everything with you, through thick and thin, and to grow old together. I know that won’t happen, and that plagues me to my core. I really don’t want to live anymore . . .but I have to in order to provide for my child. I only wish you could’ve hung in there with me. I’ll never understand. The only thing I do understand, with great grief, is that you told me I wasn’t enough for you. If I can’t be enough for you, I’ll never be enough for anyone.

I love you, and I miss you like the desert flowers miss the rain.

~ J

It’s difficult to take any overwrought lament in Missed Connections seriously, but the in-depth analysis of Facebook interactions really puts this one over the edge.

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Mollie Reilly