News & Politics

Missed Connections: Ambiguity Edition

Antique-car collections, a lack of kayaks, and incomplete sentences on Craigslist.

One of the nice things about online advertisements is that you don’t have to pay by the word. However, you wouldn’t know this judging fromn this week’s best missed connections. These Craigslisters are pithy and to the point. They do not wax romantic about the luminescent colors of that girl’s dress flowing in the breeze. In fact, why even mention a color at all? Just buy a guy a kayak already, gosh.

You cruised me Sunday morning in my ‘65 MB SL on 17th St – m4m – 56 (dc)
Date: 2010-07-26, 7:15AM EDT
You were a cute young guy, dark hair, shorts and t-shirt crossing 17th St. (around Church St.)this morning as I was coming down in my 1965 Bordeaux colored MB 230SL. It was probably the car, not me that you kept looking at, but if not, let me take you for a ride in it. IF YOU ARE JUST INTERESTED IN CARS, I also have two other MB’s convertibles and 3 other cars as well. Let’s go for a ride! If you don’t see this, anyone else want to take me up on the ride…

So the only way to see all six cars is if you’re NOT interested in the driver?

Megabus redhair – m4w – 24 (Bus from philly)
Date: 2010-07-27, 8:44PM EDT
I know not her name. Red hair. Education vocation. I am tall. Left in a hurry. Email.

I know not your name. Incapable of full sentences. Possible nine-year-old . . . or Ernest Hemingway. No chance.

another birthday passed – m4w – 37 (whitehouse)
Date: 2010-07-28, 5:02PM EDT
and still no fregin kayak

Well, isn’t that a damn shame!

metro oogling – m4w – 29
Date: 2010-07-28, 7:37PM EDT
I got on the metro. You were on the metro. Or maybe I was on and then you got on. That’s not important. You were wearing clothes and looking ravishing with your lovely [color] hair and your gorgeous [color] eyes. I think you were reading [name of a book]. I love [author of said book]. Or maybe you weren’t reading anything. Who knows. If this is you, write me back and let me know what I was wearing.

Missed connections: Mad Libs edition. Still, casting a wide net is definitely a novel approach. Posters usually attempt some level of specificity.

What were you going to say? – w4m (Yellow line)
Date: 2010-07-29, 11:27AM EDT
You got on the train Wednesday just as a child came and sat in the seat beside me and I was so distracted with her and my suitcase and the book I was reading that I didn’t realize you were completely turned sideways in front of me for awhile. Then when you got up to get off at the Crystal City stop, you turned around and looked at me before getting off the train. What were you going to say? I wish I wouldn’t have been so distracted when you first got on, it would have been nice to chat with you.

Of course he was staring—this sounds like a scene out of “Cheaper by the Dozen.” Except there was only one child. And two inanimate objects.

Michelle from the Bookstore – m4w – 26 (Fairfax)
Date: 2010-07-29, 12:28AM EDT
Sorry if I seemed a bit unfriendly earlier; I was in a “mood,” yeah? This is what happens when you hang out at cafes reading Kafka and brooding. You seem like a very sweet girl and it’s always nice to see you. Maybe one day we’ll hang out.

Sounds like you were really bugging her.

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