News & Politics

Missed Connections: Tea Party Edition

Liberals, conservatives, and ’80s aficionados find love this week

Tens of thousands of visiting Tea Partiers flooded the Mall this weekend, so it’s no surprise that this week’s Missed Connections are Glenn Beck-centric. With so many like-minded people around, who wouldn’t find a little romance even in the sweltering heat and religious-themed rhetoric? Maybe the socially awkward men at Giant and DC9 should give activism a shot.

Bike Riding Liberal Girl at Glen Beck Rally–m4w–30 (National Mall)
Date: 2010-08-30, 9:23AM EDT

You were walking your bike through the throngs of confused and angry people at the Glen Beck rally. You approached me & my friend (who was wearing an Obama t-shirt) and chatted us up. My friend didn’t think you were cute, but I begged to differ. And girls riding bikes in dresses = awesome.

I regret not asking your name.

It’s nice that even liberals made connections at the rally, but what he should really regret is that backhanded compliment.

You asked if Diet Coke was on sale on the way out. . . (Ashburn Giant)
Date: 2010-08-29, 11:23PM EDT

Like the title says, you asked me if it was on sale while we were walking out of the store. I’m not used to unfamiliar women speaking to me, so maybe that was supposed to tell me that you were interested?

Unlikely. Discounted Diet Coke is no joking matter.

Legwarmers 8/28–m4w–30 (State Theatre)
Date: 2010-08-29, 10:01PM EDT

I was not dressed up. . .my friend was Don Johnson. You were next to me and then I danced away. There was definitely something in the air besides the Jefferson Starship. Let’s build something on rock and roll. . . .

I love the ’80s too, but this might be overkill.

Girl in leopard (I think?) fez at DC9–m4w–23 (DC9)
Date: 2010-08-29, 4:42AM EDT

Sorry I didn’t dance with you, social anxiety and all that noise.

This begs the question of what he was doing at a club in the first place, but at least he’s upfront about his issues.

Cute Tea Party Girl–m4w–23 (Lincoln Memorial)
Date: 2010-08-28, 10:54PM EDT

You were wearing a black tank top, I was wearing a plaid shirt and holding a “Glen Beck is a bigot” sign. You seemed really interested—if unsure—about the idea of white privilege. I know you’re back in St. Louis on Monday, and that you love Jesus. I’m pretty sure He’d want us to get to second base before you go.

Um . . . opposites attract?

Guy in the “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt–m4w–47 (DC–Glenn Beck rally)
Date: 2010-08-30, 9:55PM EDT

Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally was a sight to behold. And so were you.

When Beck was reminding us of our right to free speech and about all the good things that make our country, I happened to catch a glimpse of you. You were (probably) in your late 40s, white and looking relatively buff, with a mop of black hair. You appeared to be by yourself, engaged in the emotions of the day, sitting in a hunting-camo print lawn chair. Me and my girlfriends, we were wearing flag shirts in lieu of signs. Mine said “Old Navy.” As we were listening to Beck talk about how “we are going to concentrate on the good things in America, the things that we have accomplished–and the things that we can do tomorrow,” we locked eyes. It was momentary, but intense. I knew what I wanted to do right then. I wanted to be with a fellow patriot.

As we were leaving on the Metro today (something I admittedly regret due to its socialist nature), I thought of the future the two of us could have together, Mr. Don’t Tread on Me. I know what your shirt said, but you could tread on me any day of the week. I tried to see if I could catch you again, but you were gone. I was loaded with regret, God and country.

I’m a DWF who lives in Virginia. I’m active in the cause and hope that when November comes, we can celebrate together, as one. I know this is a long shot, but I hope I can find you.

A portrait of a movement. Bravo, Craigslister.

Subscribe to Washingtonian
Follow Washingtonian on Twitter

More>> Capital Comment Blog | News & Politics | Party Photos