Two Redskins Suspended For Failing Drug Tests

Fred Davis (pictured) and Trent Williams have been suspended for four games, effectively ending their season. Photograph by Brian Murphy

When the NFL lockout ended in July, there was a question of what to do about the drug tests. Of all of the NFL players tested for banned substances, 11 of them reportedly failed. Those 11 were given a mulligan of sorts. While they would still go down as having failed a test, they would not be subject to suspension. Unless, of course, they were dumb enough to do it again. Not to be blunt (no pun intended), but two of them proved to be precisely that dumb.

Yesterday it was reported that those two were Redskins standouts Trent Williams and Fred Davis. It was at least the third failed test for each player—reportedly for marijuana—meaning that their seasons will be over when they are formally notified of their four-week unpaid vacation.

So what went wrong? How could not one, but two key players do something so incredibly dumb? I have a few theories.

Sabotage
Everyone wants to see Chris Cooley back, none of us more so than Cooley himself. Perhaps the tight end saw an opportunity to weaken the competition with a tray of weed brownies. Trent Williams, unable to resist the fudgy confections being enjoyed by Davis, found himself caught in the crossfire.

They Hate Money
It seems like both guys chose one green over another. The four-game suspension will cost Trent Williams nearly $1.85 million in game checks. For Davis, the big financial hit will come in the off-season. The Redskins’ top receiver looked like he was primed for a big payday in free agency following his breakout year. However, few things diminish your market value like letting everyone in the league know how much you enjoy getting high.

Boredom
Let he who has been able to sit through one of Kyle Shanahan’s meetings without a decent buzz cast the first stone.

A Curse
In an ironic twist, the Skins’ new practice bubble is being constructed on the site of a sacred Native American burial ground. The best revenge is tainted urine. This would also go a long way to explaining everything else that’s happened this year, right down to the whole John Beck fiasco.

Confusion
“ That’s still illegal? Then what the hell were we fighting for all summer? STRIKE STRIKE . . . what were we talking about? Ooh, brownies! Don’t mind if I do.”

Jack Kogod